Aa
How on earth do I stop?
My question is I want to stay clean from opiates however I think my addiction to calling in prescriptions is part of the problem. The rush that I receive knowing I pulled one over on someone is kind of like a high. I know this may sound stupid, but any advice on this would be appreciated. Thankyou
I AM DEFINATELY IN NO SHAPE TO GIVE YOU ADVICE.BUT I DO KNOW ONE THING-EVERYONE IN THIS FORUM CARES ABOUT YOU.THE ONES YOU FELT WERE COMING DOWN ON YOU,JUST DONT WANT YOU TO END UP WHERE THEY WERE.BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FIGURE **** OUT ON YOUR OWN.LIKE WHEN YOU TELL YOUR KID,DONT HANG OUT WITH HIM-HES BAD NEWS.WHAT IS THE KID GONNA DO-RUN TO HANG OUT WITH THAT LITTLE PUNK.I KNOW YOUR NOT A KID,AND ITS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.I'VE NEVER BEEN WHERE YOU ARE,SO IM NOT JUDGING YOU.I THINK ITS A LITTLE LIKE TOUGH LOVE,YA KNOW?I THINK YOU ARE REMARKABLE!!!31 DAYS CLEAN IS AN AWESOME ACHIEVEMENT.BE PROUD OF YOURSELF EVERY DAY.YOU ARE WINNING THE GOOD FIGHT.I MYSELF AM TRYING TO COME OFF OF METHADONE WAFERS.WHICH SOMETIMES I THINK IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.IF ANY OF US WERE IN YOUR SHOES WE'D PROBABLY TRY TO CALL IN A SCRIPT IF WE THOUGHT WE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT.SO DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF,OR THE PEOPLE FROM THIS FORUM,THEY REALLY DO CARE,THEY (WE) FEEL YOUR PART OF OUR FAMILY.WHEN WE SEE SOMEONE ACTING DESTRUCTIVE,WE TRY AND HELP ALL IN DIFFERENT WAYS.YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT LATELY WHICH YOU SHOULD ALSO BE PROUD OF.LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU IN THIS FIGHT AGAINST YOUR DEMONDS.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
You da man! 43 days at 1-2 ES's, had a few 0 days in there but not many. My vascular problems are doggin me pretty bad right now and it's all I can do to make 12 hrs. between doses. keep me in your thoughts, the mental let down is what's taken it's toll.
teeitup!
teeitup!
Congratulations on making the step to get control, taper was the best choice for me due to medical problems. Don't let yourself suffer to much if you try cold turkey and trying to work and take care of your daughter. trying to be supermom may be tough right now. good luck and I'll be thinking of you!
teeitup!
teeitup!
Hi everyone!I feel like I'm living on this forum but seems weird that I actually have something that interest me other than finding pills,finding money to feed my habit,worring about running out etc.so if I'm posting to much just bear with me.Tommorrow is going to be my first day with no pills.So I'm a liitle nervous,ok a lot!!!My main concern is to make sure my 5 year old daughter does'nt know anything is wrong.Thats hard but I am determined for that,I think I may use the flu thing to help.I swear if I put forth the energy,time and determination towards school as I do for pills by now I could be a brain surgeon!!!One good thing is my husbands totally understanding b/c he's going through the exact same thing with me.He's stronger than me though.I've always had an addictive personality.I'm only 23 and I've always had to dive in head first into everything thats came my way,taking the hard road everywhere I go in life makes it very difficult to stay straight!!!But hey I choose these things so I have to live with the consequences.I'll keep posting.
Brandy, welcome to the forum. You are among a family-like bunch here. I too read and studied the forum posts for awhile before I began posting. Take to heart the suggestions you get from all us addicts/junkies here & follow the suggestions. It can save you as it did me. I too am in the medical field & it's not "crazy" - our professions expose us to alot of drugs, but unfortunately, we are as the alcoholic bartender. Don't feel ashamed that you are a nurse who's an addict. You/we have a disease called addiction. My advise otherwise would be to taper down very slowly if you have to continue to work. I tried to go to work through my withdrawal & it was a disaster. You've been taking a high dose of hydro on a daily basis, even if it's been a month or so "this time". I really think that a gradual weaning is the best way to go and still hope to work. Go back and read the Thomas Recipe text - it does work, but it specifically points out that it's intended for cold turkey detox and days of shear physical hell with time off to go thru it. Good luck with any approach you take. We ARE here...keep posting.
Hugs, -M
Hugs, -M
Hey everyone this is Brandy agian.Just wanted to say thanks for the quick response and the recipe I am trying to round up all the ingrediants and go ahead and enter the "hell week" although after it's all over it does'nt seem that bad.Unfortunantly I can't take off work,I'm a nurse (crazy huh?) another thing thats bad is that I really have pain due to a car accident and I had my spleen removed,broke ribs and pins put in both sides of my pelvis but I can't seem to take one every 4-6 hours but more like 4-6 every hour.I swear this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do,sometimes it seems impossible!!!Your mind is the hardest thing to fight and it's like my mind is saying"eat some you'll feel better"but thats all it is,in my mind.As soon as I can realize that I think I'll be better,I think.Anyway my congrats to all of you who are obviously stronger than me.Bye for now.
Brandy,
welcome.
Read some of the archives, and put a plan together. Why do YOU think you are relapsing. As the forum doc, and my pals Hippee and Mike would tell you:
"You have to replace your addiction with something positive"
Here's the Thomas reciper used for detox.
Thanks to Thomas -
----------------------------------
Thomas Detox Recipe
PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.
welcome.
Read some of the archives, and put a plan together. Why do YOU think you are relapsing. As the forum doc, and my pals Hippee and Mike would tell you:
"You have to replace your addiction with something positive"
Here's the Thomas reciper used for detox.
Thanks to Thomas -
----------------------------------
Thomas Detox Recipe
PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.
WELCOME.
You are not alone nor will you ever be on this forum. Post anytime you like with any question you have. We'll be here.
FINISHED!!
You are not alone nor will you ever be on this forum. Post anytime you like with any question you have. We'll be here.
FINISHED!!
Hello to all you amazing people that I have been secretly getting to know for about 3 weeks now,finally got up enough nerve to write.Anyway,I like most of you have a hydro addiction that just does'nt want to leave me.I've detoxed at home (cold turkey)oh probally 5 times,thats gotta be the hardest thing I've ever had to do!!!!!I'm getting ready to do it agian,this time the little spree only lasted maybe a month but all in all I've been poppin' pills for 18 months.It started out just on weekends then a couple times a week then everyday(4 or 5) now 15-20 lortab 10's a day.You all know the story.I'm not really sure what I'm looking for from this forum,maybe srength,support,or just to know I'm not alone with this demon that I've let take over my life.Anyway my name is Brandy and I would love to get to know ya'll better.
Hey Rex,
Feeling "O.K." A lttle worse actually than yesterday. I ended up taking one of the percocets the doc gave me & it worked but knocked me out. That was good seeing as I didn't get any sleep the night before. I got about 2 hours last night. We actually made it to the "Torque" movie premire. I'm glad I didn't end up riding in that one. Pretty bad movie. Bad bad...not bad good.
Thanks for the joke. Here's one for you...courtesy of my 14 year old cousin. Keep in mind...She's pretty weird.
Why do Eskimoes wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out tide!
Oh...that's bad huh?
FINISHED!!
Feeling "O.K." A lttle worse actually than yesterday. I ended up taking one of the percocets the doc gave me & it worked but knocked me out. That was good seeing as I didn't get any sleep the night before. I got about 2 hours last night. We actually made it to the "Torque" movie premire. I'm glad I didn't end up riding in that one. Pretty bad movie. Bad bad...not bad good.
Thanks for the joke. Here's one for you...courtesy of my 14 year old cousin. Keep in mind...She's pretty weird.
Why do Eskimoes wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out tide!
Oh...that's bad huh?
FINISHED!!
How ya feelin today bud?
Hope that ankle is getting better.
This, courtesy of my 11 year old, to help you feel better:
-------------------------------------
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
-------------------------------------
OK, so you may be worse now but we tried.
Everyone on this forum - feel better soon!
Love and bad jokes,
Rex
Hope that ankle is getting better.
This, courtesy of my 11 year old, to help you feel better:
-------------------------------------
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
-------------------------------------
OK, so you may be worse now but we tried.
Everyone on this forum - feel better soon!
Love and bad jokes,
Rex
I am going to make a bold statement here, and just hope you will trust me.
It has been my experience, and many others, that you CANNOT do this alone. This is the first step of AA/NA - "we are powerless". Yes this forum can help, but imo, you need a live body, someone close to you to help you. Who is that person in your world?
I do not know your family, but would be suprised if they acted the way you think they will. Explain the truth to them, thta you never saw this coming and didnt intend for it to happen. "Now I need your help".
Your doc might understand too.
At any rate, if its an NA meeting, where you meet a friend, or a significant other, tell someone - this will be such a relief to you, imo.
Rex
It has been my experience, and many others, that you CANNOT do this alone. This is the first step of AA/NA - "we are powerless". Yes this forum can help, but imo, you need a live body, someone close to you to help you. Who is that person in your world?
I do not know your family, but would be suprised if they acted the way you think they will. Explain the truth to them, thta you never saw this coming and didnt intend for it to happen. "Now I need your help".
Your doc might understand too.
At any rate, if its an NA meeting, where you meet a friend, or a significant other, tell someone - this will be such a relief to you, imo.
Rex
Thank you thank you Thank you for the Thomas Recipe. I hope this works. I had a flip out earlier today because I couldn't find any percs, but as soon as I heard I could get some, I began to feel better and was able to pull myself togther to go out and get them.
I am so ashamed to admit that I have screwed myself so badly and gotten myself into a situation where I have to ask for help. This is unacceptable. My family would never understand. I don't understand how I could have let this happen. This is SO NOT me. I am going to work my ass off this week and finally commit to ending this madness next Wed. Until then, I am going to do my best to take less and less. It is pathetic that I feel guilty going to the mall and spending a few hundred dollars on clothes for myself but won't think twice about spending that much on pk every week. I must have wasted at least $20,000 on drugs in the last two years.
I want to thank all of you for your support even though I feel so lame for having to come in here and tell a bunch of strangers how weak and pathetic I am. You guys wrote back to me the first time so quickly and I seriously need to hear from you all so I don't lose my mind. It amazes me that I have read some threads that sound like they came right out of my own brain. Thanks!
I am so ashamed to admit that I have screwed myself so badly and gotten myself into a situation where I have to ask for help. This is unacceptable. My family would never understand. I don't understand how I could have let this happen. This is SO NOT me. I am going to work my ass off this week and finally commit to ending this madness next Wed. Until then, I am going to do my best to take less and less. It is pathetic that I feel guilty going to the mall and spending a few hundred dollars on clothes for myself but won't think twice about spending that much on pk every week. I must have wasted at least $20,000 on drugs in the last two years.
I want to thank all of you for your support even though I feel so lame for having to come in here and tell a bunch of strangers how weak and pathetic I am. You guys wrote back to me the first time so quickly and I seriously need to hear from you all so I don't lose my mind. It amazes me that I have read some threads that sound like they came right out of my own brain. Thanks!
Doing good!!! Except for the fog in the head.. But it will pass in time.. Hows the pain management going? Good I hope. DONT WANT NO SUFFERING!!!! That would be soooooooooooooooo very hard to go through... Stay strong my friend.. God Bless... J.E.W.
Hey J,
How are YOU doing today. You've spent a lot of time helping others so you must be cruisen' along alright.
FINISHED!!
How are YOU doing today. You've spent a lot of time helping others so you must be cruisen' along alright.
FINISHED!!
Sorry I didnt clarify myself. I was refering to a couple of days ago when we were talking about religion!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im so glad your feeling better today... you sound like a wonderful person. Stay away from the phone though!!!!!! Your doing a good job. Give yourself a big hug from me... God Bless... J.E.W.
Hey Lady,
How's though cravings today? I sincerley hope you understood my last post to you. We DO CARE. I CARE!!! I'm sorry if you felt alienated or judged or whatever. That was not my intetion & again I apologize if that's how you took it.
As far as past "call-ins" coming back to haunt you...I doubt it. I think if they don't catch it at the time, it's a wash. But I'm not 100% sure of the way that works. I wouldn't worry myself about that. You're clean & doing GREAT!!! You now have a long, pill-free future ahead of you. Have you given any thought to seeking the help of a professional in regards to the current cravings? This may be more common than you think. Adrenaline junkies like myself also enjoy the RUSH. I just chose a different way to substain those cravings. I hope & pray all is well with you lady. Kick those cravings in the crotch!!!
FINISHED!!
How's though cravings today? I sincerley hope you understood my last post to you. We DO CARE. I CARE!!! I'm sorry if you felt alienated or judged or whatever. That was not my intetion & again I apologize if that's how you took it.
As far as past "call-ins" coming back to haunt you...I doubt it. I think if they don't catch it at the time, it's a wash. But I'm not 100% sure of the way that works. I wouldn't worry myself about that. You're clean & doing GREAT!!! You now have a long, pill-free future ahead of you. Have you given any thought to seeking the help of a professional in regards to the current cravings? This may be more common than you think. Adrenaline junkies like myself also enjoy the RUSH. I just chose a different way to substain those cravings. I hope & pray all is well with you lady. Kick those cravings in the crotch!!!
FINISHED!!
Look at c-89 I am sorry u felt chewed out. You know you really don't have to joke or make little sly remarks about it. :(
yes it does. I never broke the law before (maybe eating a grape in the supermarket):) but when u start to call them in it is hard to stop. Why go from doc to doc when in a matter a 2 minutes u have what u need at the pharmacy. Also I usually never used my real name. I would call them in under fake kids names and that way they woudl never id me. You know the little sign that says we id on all controlled substances. Well if the person is under 18 that does not happen. I am just worried that all the scripts I have called in may come back to haunt me. But I am thinking that maybe since I used fake everything there is really no way for them to trace it back to me. What do you think?
I have been through getting busted for fake scripts, and it isn't fun. I was handcuffed in our small town supermarket, that is where the pharmacy is, and walked through it while people that I knew stared in horror. Although the charges were dismissed my name was still in the paper under "arrests" and my reputation has suffered. No one would have ever suspected me of doing anything remotely illegal.
My point here is that I don't think Lady should call the pharmacies at all. Even if she did what you suggested how will she explain to the pharmacy about all the scripts that were called in and picked up? Obviously she had to have been the one to pick them up so she must have been the one who phoned them in. What I did is I called all the pharmacies I used, and there were many, and I told them I was an addict and to please not let me get any opiates from them ever again. For the most part they respected this greatly.
I wouldn't fool around with calling just for the high and then cancelling it - too risky! I'd lay low and stay as far away from these places as possible. Good luck to you. You are doing a great thing by quitting and a great thing by writing about what you've done. Addiction makes us compromise any and all morals we might have had doesn't it?
My point here is that I don't think Lady should call the pharmacies at all. Even if she did what you suggested how will she explain to the pharmacy about all the scripts that were called in and picked up? Obviously she had to have been the one to pick them up so she must have been the one who phoned them in. What I did is I called all the pharmacies I used, and there were many, and I told them I was an addict and to please not let me get any opiates from them ever again. For the most part they respected this greatly.
I wouldn't fool around with calling just for the high and then cancelling it - too risky! I'd lay low and stay as far away from these places as possible. Good luck to you. You are doing a great thing by quitting and a great thing by writing about what you've done. Addiction makes us compromise any and all morals we might have had doesn't it?
i have tryed the meth. prosses i dont think they should eaven give that **** to lab rats , its brutal , if you start it your going to have to taper of of it no fun or take it forever , i will always be a junky my logic is i would rather taper of a drug that gives me a buzz i know thats not the correct logic but then im a junky ,hope i dont catch to much **** for my words of wisdom , i wish you the best .
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