Hydrocodone addiction

[tinaisdone]

O.K., so I've been reading these boards now for appr 2 weeks waiting on my moment to jump in and start on my road to recovery!  A bit of background info should help......I am a 37 yr old female that was dx with Hodgkins disease when I was 25, went thru the whole chemo radiation and surgery thing. Well i kicked that right in its butt and have been cancer free for 11yrs this month! Never a bit of pain med taken from then til '03. My life kinda took a weird turn in '03 when I started engaging in behavior that was abnormal to what I had been used to. Hell, I was a woman who beat the odds(against drs prognosis) and had a precious lil boy! I hurt my back in a nightclub, went to a dr, had lots of tests done, and he told me surgery or pills- I CHOSE PILLS! I'm thinkin now i should have just walked away altogether! Who knows? Well, first I was cared of them and I maybe took 1 2x's a week, but somewhere along the line I found them to be quite the nice escape from the real world......started taking them socially, sharing alot, i'm sure some 1 on here knows what I'm talking about.....btw, I have a wonderful hubby of 11 yrs that had worked out of town for 3 mo at a time when all this started. Long story short, cuz i feel as if i'm rambling, I got pregnant at 35- not by my hubby, but by a guy that I "thought" i loved. While I was pregnant I took 1 a day....btw, i did tell my hubby the baby wasn't his at my 4 mo mark. With the stress of these 2 men constantly fighting and fussing over the baby and me, I just decided(after baby was born) to lose myself in these pills. Most of the time I took 4 a day, sometimes more, sometimes less- 10/500's that is. Enter my hubby's horrible car accident(the other man completely out of our lives) guess what they put him on? Lortab 10/500's, and guess what, he didnt like them, so I like them so much that over the last yr., i have doubled up on my usage!!!! I am fully addicted to these monsters and have never really had the opportunity to stop taking them cuz if I run out, he had them, if he then ran out, I had plenty of friends to borrow from......no problem. So, we move.....to a city far away from this 1 that had all the drama in it....far enuff away that I cant just run down the street and get some if needed. I expressed my concern over this addiction to my hubby so he cut his off, never ask for a script again.....me, on the other hand, up til now, have gotten mine. I run out early and beg as many people as i can find- I hate this, for God's sake, I am a wife and a mother of 2 fabulous boys that I want to see grow up! I decided 3 days ago, that I'm Done- never again, I dont care how damn hard it is!!!!! I went and bought the stuff for the Thomas Recipe, already had the Xanax, it doesnt phase me!! I'm not too scared of it cuz it really don't make me feel good like the Lortab did....so I wanted to share what I'm goin thru and maybe one of you strong Vets will take me under your wing and help me thru this extremely difficult time! I'm on day 2, appr.56 hrs., since I've had any Tabs. No cravings, just severe withdrawals! Let's see, the chills, diarrhea, the sweats, and NO energy! It wouldn't be so bad if I didnt have a 2yo, and a 9yo actively involved in Little league baseball. My hubby works 3rd and sleeps thru the day, he is trying to help amap, but it's limited on the schedule he is on. My question to any open ears would be, am i doing something wrong with this Thomas Recipe or do u have any other suggestions to get thru this difficult time? Also, alot of tears are being shed daily, and thats just not like me! Anybody, anything? Please help!!!! I will never go back!

[JeremysMom07]

Thank you for sharing your story.  & I pray that you can get through it all & that you will be able to stay clean and help others also!
Ive been there. ( a few times) Its not easy. Mentally, it can be easy, but physically, it can take its toll. Well, at least thats how it was for me. In my mind, I didnt want the pills anymore, I didnt want the addiction.... But when the w/d's started, I couldnt handle it. I didnt know what to do to survive them. So, the 1st time, I went cold turkey.... 2 days later, I started using again.  The 2nd time I went ct & suffered through it, although I was SO miserable I almost didnt make it. I dont know how long I stayed clean that time....
I lost count of how many times I TRIED to quit.... I finally decided one day that I was going to get off those damn pills, even  if it killed me.... I went through the withdrawals, and it was really hard, but after a week or so, I felt a little better, and every week after that, I felt better & better.....


Ive learned to take it day by day- one day at a time. There isnt any quick fix for addiction, and once youve been down that road, its so hard to turn back. I hope & pray that you'll win this fight! Good luck!
~Sending lots of positive thoughts & prayers your way~

[GoingToMakeIt]

Yes, welcome to the forum! You can do this. Everyone here has been down this road in one way or another. As for the Thomas recipe, day 4 is when to start taking the amino acids and vitamins. Mainly because the first few days can be real rough and there is no point. Drink lots of water and Gatorade, too. Take walks, even when you don't feel like it. Walks do several things. It gets the blood flowing and the toxins moving so you get it out of your system quicker. It will help with the RLS and help you to sleep at night.

[worried878]

Personally...i did not use the benzos until i needed them which was at the very end of my fast taper and for about 4 days once i had totally quit...I had valium and would take  small pieces to help with the anxiety....if u can, get a different alternative for sleep in case you need it....and go for it

[sickcookie]

Welcome to the forum ,you have found a home!!! You can do this,Good Luck

[tinaisdone]

First of all, congrats on day 11 to you!  I appreciate your kind words as that is what I need to get thru this difficult time! Now ya got me waiting on day 4 desperately!!!! I'm tryin the thomas recipe....did u do anything special for wd's? If so, what? I'm not feeling soooo bad like i did yesterday. Mainly chills, diarrhea, and lots of crying....thanks for replying, my friend! Good luck and add me as a friend if ya can! This is my 1st day on here and i haven't learned to navigate this site very good yet! Thanks, Tina

[corey411]

Hi, I'm on day 11 and really beginning to feel better....mentally...felt better physically day 4. I just want to wish you luck and let you know that it does get better. Hang in there. PM me anytime.

[tinaisdone]

Thanks for the + vibes- I NEED THEM BADLY!!!! I will write down the advice ur giving me and go from there.....take care and thx for replying, Tina

[cathy5841]

tina, i sent a note to fladdict and asked her when she gets on to come respond to you.  she will as soon as she gets the note.
cathy

[tinaisdone]

HaHa- u made me laugh......EXHAUSTED? Think of me......and believe it or not, there's plenty more i just decided not the time to share......OK, i have all the ingred for thomas recipe but unsure how and when to start them.....i just went over it again and dont see that I'm supposed to start the l-ty on a particular day.....just says when u wake out of your fog on fourth day, maybe that is when u should take it. I just wondered bout the benzos-downers to me, vs. the l-ty which is a mood enhancer/stabilizer.....seems as if u should start taking it day 1! I dunno.....Yes, thank God in Heaven for 2nd chances, for him, I wouldn't have been able to put myself into this place where I have no access to those "devils" Thru my strong prayer to God on Mon nt, I was able to dump a whole hydro 10 bottle out with no way to get more for bout 2 wks in which i hope to be clean by then and NEVER wanting them again! Thx for your reply!  Take care, and any extra thoughts, bring them to me.....I NEED IT!

[stormchild]

Hi, I don't know the Thomas Recipe, but I do know w/drwls.  Tips:  A teaspoon of salt in a glass of water does wonders for the cramps.  A good vitamin B complex and Calcium/Magnesium suplement helps for sleeping, reduces cramps and reduces the depression and tears, as well as giving you a bit more energy through the day.  Stay away from coffee or pain killers that contain stimulants including caffeine - they make it worse.  Water, juice and fresh fruit and veg - whatever you can hold down that's healthy.
NB!! grit your teeth and remember that this too shall pass.  In a week's time you will feel magnificent.  You may feel down again after, but the best thing about getting clean is that fantastic feeling after your first good night's sleep, when nothing aches, and you actually look forward to your day.
Sending you lots of + vibes
Stormy

[poetrygirl1960]

Wow..........your story made me exhausted.  Thank God in heaven for second chances, huh?  

If you have everything in the Thomas recipe, why are you only taking xanax?  Does it say in the recipe to wait on everything else til day 4?  I'm just questioning because I didn't do it maybe you should look it over again.

I relate to the new crying jags and emotional upheavals.  I was the same.  I hardly ever cried, now I'm old faithful.  Try the 5HTP on Fladdict's list of amino acids, it's incredibly good for the emotions.  The entire paper she wrote about amino's is way to great to not check it out.  So........check it out!

Good luck and good job realizing you needed help and going for it.

[tinaisdone]

Hi! I was told by cathy5841 that U had great knowledge on hydrocodone withdrawals.....i am trying the cold turkey way and I'm miserable. I went yesterday and bought all neccessary ingredients for the Thomas Recipe, but don't completely understand when u start taking the L-tyrosine/supplements. Any useful infow would be helpful. I am on day 2, goin half-way into day 3. And I'm not goin back! Thanks! Tina

[cathy5841]

tina, i have no idea, but if you message fladdict she will help you out.  i was thinking you start it as soon as you can.  she has a purple flower be her name.  i didnt find out about it til i was nearly done with w/ds...i had no idea things would be bad i thought i would just quit.   uuuggghhh not the case.  i had been on coke back int the day for many years and i quit no prob thought i could do the same with pills.  i am 4 months clean now, but i tell you the first week i thought i was dieing and didnt know it was w/ds til i found this site.  but message fladdict she is great.    

[tinaisdone]

Thx so much for replying.....I'm realizing thru my tears that maybe talking to knowledgable understanding people that I might just make it!!!!! Thx soooo much, U know, my biggest fear is not for me, I just don't want my children to suffer!!!!! They deserve a much better mama. Thx Tina

[tinaisdone]

Lemme ask u a few ?'s bout the thomas recipe......i went and bought the stuff for it yesterday, but am i right not to take any of that stuff except the xanax til day 4? If u have any extra knowledge on this pls mess me back....thx, Tina

[worried878]

Unfortunately, this would be expected for several days....be sure you drink plenty of fluids if u r having the runs...be sure u r taking your vitamins and exercise when u can...it helps so much....sleep is important as well so be sure you have something to help with that....hang in there...it will pass

[tinaisdone]

Thank U so much for the concern! Peace to u also! Tina

[danners]

keep fighting the fight and dont give up...I wish u all the best and good luck....u can do it!...Peace and Love!
              -Danny

[cathy5841]

i had the rls so bad...the heating pad/electric blanket helps so much w/ the chills.  hang in there tina you will make it.

[mimi1313]

Hi Tina,

Cathy prety much said what you should do. Like she said 7 days and you should start to feel better. Believe me. I know what you're going through and it must be difficult with 2 small kids. Another thing, and I know you won't want to do this, but try to exercise a little bit as soon as you can. I know you don't want to, but it will help. Drink as much fluids as possible, gatorade, water, ensure or boost if you're not hungy.

Good luck, you're doing a good thing and this will pass.

Melissa

[tinaisdone]

Thanks for replying.....I really spilled my heart there like I never have, so U can in someway feel strangely priveleged....haha. Thanks for the advice, weird, but my legs did feel very weird, almost restless during sleep last night! U know what I HATE???????? These chills.........ty Cathy for the kindness and advice.Tina

[cathy5841]

oh my..been there.  first hot baths are great...add epsom salts for the aches and i promise it will help. use a heating pad too.  if you can wrap your legs in ace bandages that helps too.  eat as many bananas as you can it helps replace the potassium.  immodium ad helps with the stomach issues.  and hang on in 7 days are so you will feel better.  i took tylenol pm for sleep.  i took 4 so i caould sleep.  yeah i know wayyyy more than reccomended but i need sleep i had to work.   keep posting it is a great outlet and you will get lots of support.  i will pray for you...you are gonna need it lol
cathy
p.s. feel free to pm me if you need anything