I'M FREE

[gizzy32]

Now that this fog has lifted
And i can finally see
Everything i ever wanted
Has always been in front of me

It feels so good to be myself again
And no longer live in fear
I'm getting stronger everyday
And lucky to be here

No more hurt and no more pain
And all those sleepless nights
No more giving in
Cause i have learned to fight

So when i'm feeling down
And i don't know what to do
I find comfort in this place
When i talk to all of you

[swtbreezie]

(((((((((((gizzy)))))))))))))) thank hun for you being here.  And congrats to us both on 8 days I never want to take another pill as long as I live!

[gizzy32]

believe me when i say i can relate to the sibling thing. my bro and a have never seen eye to eye, and i know he wishes i was still using, can't stand him

[swtbreezie]

GREAT poem!  And thanks for sharing gizz.  Glad you had a great day.  I had a great day then it wasnt so good.  I live with my sister right now and she is an alcoholc, which she doesnt think she is but she pops top on a beer soon as she is done with her coffee and drinks till bedtime..  I can't tell her what is going on in my life she would toss me out :(  Her daughter had a drug problem and she always blamed my daughter but it is always easy to blame when you don't want to own up to admitting your own mistakes.  She yelled at me continuously for not doing HER house work I dont mess up and anything I do I clean up, when I do my laundry I do her laundry but it is never enough. She told me yesterday all she wantes was me out and she knows I have no place to go right now.  If I did I would certainly be there not in this.   She never sees what I do so I get cursed at and told I dont do them.  This is rough to live in while detoxing and if I try and talk about anything in my life she says Oh poor pittiful you again huh  I hate it here, she has never lost anyone near her, so she cant possibly understand what the loss of your family and home can do to you..  All I am waiting for is to get through detox, probation and I am out of here going to be happy with my winderful Fiancee who supports me in everything he is in another state.  Oh God I can't wait 8 days now.  Tnaks all for listening sorry I got off the subject :(

[Clamity2]

The rink sounds like a much better place to be social than a bar for sure. Good choice!  
I never felt a trigger at the rink. :D

[zzzaaaccckkk]

nice read on this great morning. 3 weeks myself 8 hrs. Of sleep fog is just a mist now.

Good day!!!!

[allaboutmary]

Hey, I just read your poems.  They are really great !  You've got alot of talent.  Did you post these on the social forum.  You really should.  I normally don't go noseing around in people's journals. lol    These are to good to keep hidden !

[LIZZIE LOU]

yes...he did...he and his wife both went.

he called me the next morning and said that they picked up their "surrender" chip.  i tried not to question him alot about it though...this is something that they need to do on their own.  (i hate when that happens...a mom is a mom...lol...and i want "details")

[gizzy32]

oh i meant to ask you, did your son go to another N/A meeting?

[BlottedOut]

im sending a truck driver down to macon, ga today lol ill let him know its goin to be warm

[LIZZIE LOU]

lolol...come on down!

67 and sunny today (HA HA)

[BlottedOut]

ya i dont blame ya there lol, i went to bed at like 2 am and woke up at 6 am ready to wake up lol, i even feel like i got a good nights sleep lol oh did you go check out my two poems in my journal, i spent like hours writing these poems and hardly anyone commented on them, i was hoping to get lots of comments being that i wrote them for all my friends on here

[gizzy32]

well i had nightmares all night so i was up at 5am grrrrrrrr, but for some reason i feel so much better today, just this past 2 weeks i feel like im up and down, but that's ok. i might go to the rink today and take out some of my aggresion, lol.

[BlottedOut]

no biggie im not much on the bar scene myself anymore since ive quit drinking in august, i dont really have a craving to drink unless i see alot of others doing it yunno, jump on the wagon of course, so whats up this morning you having a good day?

[gizzy32]

no man, i cancelled, had a bad vibe. went to the bar about a month ago and had fun, but at the end of the night i had a sick craving, they scare me, so a bar is not a place for me no more, i worked on my comp instead.

[BlottedOut]

nice poem bro, how are you doing this morning? everytime i post a poem they move it to the social side, which i think sucks b/c same as you my poems are to inspire addicts, but i guess they feel this forum should be dead serious with no other inspiration aside from keep it up you can do it and good luck lol, i dont think ive ever been up this early on a sat. b4, did you go to the club or bar last night? if so did you have fun, i remember yesterday you were wanting to be a more social person again

[flmagi]

Nice poem. And good luck with the new computer!

[gizzy32]

Good morning sunshine, please send some warm weather this way please.

[gizzy32]

i should have done that, i lost everything, but that's ok, this is the start of my new life and new computer, lol.

[LIZZIE LOU]

writing poetry is great therapy and alot of rehabs use it.  

daaaaaaaaang gizzy...i'm impressed :)

[traveladdict]

I had a hard drive crash/fail a couple months ago.  I sent it to a place in CA they were able to retrieve it completely. It was expensive but it depends on what data you lost if it is worth it or not.

[gizzy32]

LMAO, well i won't be singing cause it hurts my ears when i do, haha

[gizzy32]

my new comp arrived yesterday so i was working on that. i lost everything, pictures music, letters, etc when my old comp blew up last week. im still working on it, but man, i suck so bad on these things, i need some help, lol

[lostmarbles]

is a poet!! he takes his mind off things by writing poetry... maybe we should start a band with gizzy writing the music. I want to be the drummer-get all the frustration out

[traveladdict]

So you made it through last night. Instead of the bar what did you do to take your mine off everything.