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Last day on opiates... Beginning detox Friday~ need encouragement & advise please!
Today was my last day on opiates... As of tomorrow, Friday- my detox begins... I am so scared... Need any positive works anyone may have please!
Oh and BTW, I have had my rx for xanax for over 4 month and out of the 20 I got I still have 6 left. I don't like downers- not my thing. I have been taking xanax off and on for 2+ years. I go months without taking any. I know it is a hard core drug but I do not abuse it at all. I just take it when my anxiety is so bad that I can't sleep at night.
Well it's 8:30 am and I made it through the first night! I never meant to say that I was worthless, only that I feel worthless as a mom and wife right now because I am having to be selfish and put myself ahead of my family. I know that sounds bad but I think it rings true for this week anyway. Soon I will find that I can do things without opiates to mask my true feelings. I have been numb for so long and I thought I needed the pills to make it through my daily life. How wrong I was! Besides money the meds have taken away my will to even live a day without them. I never thought I would become so dependant on anything and I am tired of the guilt that hits me when I realize that this has gone on for so long... I will not leave my kids and I am going to make sure they are taken care of. If times get too hard I will call my friend to come help out. I stock piled on food and the kids surely know how to get in the fridge if they are hungry. BTW my boys are 8 1/2 and 4 next month. There are pictures of them on my profile if anyone wants to see my reasons for trying to get clean! I have had a housekeeping business for years and I usually have some girls that go do the jobs for me but I got a text from a great client last night that she broke her finger and wanted to know if I could come help her clean this morning. I have my almost 4 year old that is going to come along and play with her two little girls. I really wanted to say no but I said ok. I have to be there at 9:15. I think that no matter how I feel I need to do this to prove to myself that I can keep my business and clean without the extra "kick" I usually get from opiates. I am going to go and do the best job I can do:) I have to keep moving like someone said above " there is nothing worse than just laying in bed all day" and that I have to keep moving... I am trying, we'll see how it goes! Thanks for all the support you guys, I don't think I would be able to do this without all of you! I will write later to update you on how I am doing. I hope all of u are having a great morning, ttys. Much love, Christina
Also, everyone is right about the hot baths. I never took anything like Xanax, but even though you say you dont abuse them, be VERY careful, that drug can really "attach" it's self to you. How long have you taken the Xanax, you will most likely have to wean off of it as well.
You know that I have been following you for awhile, and I will continue to. I have been where you are sooo many times, and it's hard. But like you said it's like having the flu for a few days. you not gonna die going through withdrawals. If you were honestly sick with the flu, you would still have to care for the kids. So leaving them isn't an option for you, financially. And so what! Refusing to leave them, shows your strength. You know you can do this, and you will have moments when you feel like you can't, but those moments pass, just like this horrible sickness will as well. You and I sound alot alike, I have two boys that I had to care for many times coming off opiates. Also, tended to use the opiates to "cure" my depression. I have found that my depression isn't nearly as severe as I thought or have felt while using. In fact, I was more depressed while abusing. I am here, anytime you need to talk. Even if it's one on one, send me a message if need be:)
BTW how are you feeling so far. Care to share?
BTW how are you feeling so far. Care to share?
Christina - (Nice name -- My name too!)
Listen You can SOO do this.. Your original post was very positive. You know what to expect and you know that its just a matter of DAYS to get yourself out of this physically. You can so do this.
Get yourself comfortable at home and yeah, you wont feel great but you can get through it.
When I detoxed I dont think my son or fiancee had a proper meal for a week.. But hey, nothing wrong with cereal for dinner, PB&J, microwave dinners (GASP!! LOL) or order a pizza.. whatever you have to do to get by..
Its only a week - less than a week. Think of how relieved you will feel this time next week and your through the worst of it.
You have made mistakes and thats OK. Everyone has. The best thing you can do for youself and your family is get clean and work a recovery program to stay clean.
You are NOT worthless. You are fighting for your life and you can be victorious. You are a good mom and a good wife and you are an addict. That doesnt make you worthless.. It makes you sick and it means you must be strong and do everything that is necessary to get better.
Telling the kids you have the flu is a good cover.. Ive used it many times.. lol. So just get yourself as comfortabel as possible.. post on here.. Watch a movie. Play online games. Whatever you can do to make the time pass.. Hot showers or baths..as long as possible.. Do not understimate how comfortable a hot shower or bath can make you.. I spent hours each day just sitting at the bottom of the tub.. Its weird.. Its awful. Its totally miserable BUT you can do it and make it through..and like Henry says.. laughter always helps.. try to stay postive.. so much of this is mental.
Good luck to you and hubby! God bless.
Listen You can SOO do this.. Your original post was very positive. You know what to expect and you know that its just a matter of DAYS to get yourself out of this physically. You can so do this.
Get yourself comfortable at home and yeah, you wont feel great but you can get through it.
When I detoxed I dont think my son or fiancee had a proper meal for a week.. But hey, nothing wrong with cereal for dinner, PB&J, microwave dinners (GASP!! LOL) or order a pizza.. whatever you have to do to get by..
Its only a week - less than a week. Think of how relieved you will feel this time next week and your through the worst of it.
You have made mistakes and thats OK. Everyone has. The best thing you can do for youself and your family is get clean and work a recovery program to stay clean.
You are NOT worthless. You are fighting for your life and you can be victorious. You are a good mom and a good wife and you are an addict. That doesnt make you worthless.. It makes you sick and it means you must be strong and do everything that is necessary to get better.
Telling the kids you have the flu is a good cover.. Ive used it many times.. lol. So just get yourself as comfortabel as possible.. post on here.. Watch a movie. Play online games. Whatever you can do to make the time pass.. Hot showers or baths..as long as possible.. Do not understimate how comfortable a hot shower or bath can make you.. I spent hours each day just sitting at the bottom of the tub.. Its weird.. Its awful. Its totally miserable BUT you can do it and make it through..and like Henry says.. laughter always helps.. try to stay postive.. so much of this is mental.
Good luck to you and hubby! God bless.
Congrats Christina!!!!
I hope you are coping well. You have great advice above. The only thing I have to add is DISTRACTION. Do things that will keep your mind off the pills. Lying in bed is the WORST thing you can do.
Get outside, build a puzzle, watch a movie, go shopping.....whatever it takes. As Henry says.....try and laugh. This needn't be done with a broken spirit. Our minds have a way of "freaking us out" more than is warranted. Don't stay alone, be social no MATTER how you may otherwise feel. Being around others and distracting oneself will help you to steal minutes from the clock and get you closer to feeling better.
You are NOT worthless. Would you consider yourself so if you became ill from something else??? Did you make a choice to become addicted to opiates??? Of course you did not. The important thing is that you are doing something about it.
Keep writing here and others will continue to help you. We all understand what you are dealing with.
Hang in there Christina, you are on the right path and we are all pulling for you!!!!!
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
I hope you are coping well. You have great advice above. The only thing I have to add is DISTRACTION. Do things that will keep your mind off the pills. Lying in bed is the WORST thing you can do.
Get outside, build a puzzle, watch a movie, go shopping.....whatever it takes. As Henry says.....try and laugh. This needn't be done with a broken spirit. Our minds have a way of "freaking us out" more than is warranted. Don't stay alone, be social no MATTER how you may otherwise feel. Being around others and distracting oneself will help you to steal minutes from the clock and get you closer to feeling better.
You are NOT worthless. Would you consider yourself so if you became ill from something else??? Did you make a choice to become addicted to opiates??? Of course you did not. The important thing is that you are doing something about it.
Keep writing here and others will continue to help you. We all understand what you are dealing with.
Hang in there Christina, you are on the right path and we are all pulling for you!!!!!
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
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