Last day on opiates... Beginning detox Friday~ need encouragement & advise please!

[Luckygirl05]

Today was my last day on opiates... As of tomorrow, Friday- my detox begins... I am so scared... Need any positive works anyone may have please!

[Luckygirl05]

Thank you all so much for the advise. I got on an anti'depressant (celexa) back in Feb. and have been taking it. I knew that my time to quit was on the horizon and  I wanted to have the med. kick in before I tried to kick the habit. I also have xanax that I can take at night to hopefully help me to sleep while I w/d off these opiates.. I have had a script for them before and I don't abuse them at all. I think that I have used opiates to mask my depression in some ways. I think that my husband is my biggest advocate in this situation really.I am not worried about him caving and pulling me back in. We also have cut off our supply lines so it wouldn't be easy to obtain anyway. If he does cave I have to be strong enough to stick to my guns and stay clean. I know that this will not be easy. I have considered inpatient care but I do not have ins., and it is around 8,000 + dollars here. I am in counseling however and I think it is helping. I know that this will be "hell" it is already beginning. If I have to be down and out for 4-5 really hard days then so be it. My kids are not infants and they don't need as much as a baby does. I do have a friend on stand by if I need help with the boys and feel like I can't give them what they need. I basically expect it to be like I have the flu. That is how I have felt in the past. The boys may not have a fully functioning mom and that is clearly my own fault but if I can pull through this then after a few weeks they will get their real Mommy back and I think it is a necessary process for us to go through. I hear what ppl., are saying about this not being fair to the kids but I can't afford to pay cash to get myself into treatment at the moment. I have to give it a shot on my own, at home before I find it necessary to leave my family for a month. Please keep in mind that my husband has the same problems so it's not as easy as just sending me away to detox/recover and leaving the kids w/ him when he works full time. I do not have much family left. My mom is in prision and my dad, mother & father in law are living in other towns 3+ hours away from where I live. This is not an easy choice to make and I am sorry for the suffering that I have caused to my family. I have always thought that when I was taking pills that I was some kind of "supermom" and that I could accomplish so much more with them and I was always in a great mood. The reality of it all is that I am an addict now and when I would run out I was not capable of functioning because I got so depressed and my body ached from the w/d's. I am aware at how hard this is going to be but I am choosing to do it anyway. I have been praying that I can get through this and that my husband will too. My addiction is far greater than he even realizes. If either one of us wasn't involved with popping pills then we never would have taken it this far but it is easy to make excuses rather than to take action. He has been ready to quit for a while and it's more or less been me that manipulated him to get just a few more so I can clean the house, get out of bed, or take the kids to the park, etc. I can not make excuses for the past and for either my or Shawn's addiction- I can only tell you that I am REALLY going to try to make changes but I promise nothing...;Today is day 1 and  am starting to get an upset stomach... I barely made it out of bed today too, just knowing that I have nothing to fall back on to give me energy or motivate me makes me feel like it is impossible to live a normal life. I am just going to take it one day at a time and hopefully day 1 turns into 2, then 3, 7, 14 and so on! I am very hopeful and God is on my side too:) I am going to get a shower and try to get out to Walgreens to get some of the Thomas Recipe ingredients within a few hours. Then I will rent some movies for the boys and I and get some easy food to make. I have to let go of the guilt I feel for not being a normal/drug induced Mom that has tons of false energy to get through the day. This is me, for now anyway. I think it will take appx. 2 weeks for all the opiates to get out of my system. My doctor called in Tramadol to help wing me off the heavy opiates (Vic & Percocet) but after all I learned on here I am not going to pick up my prescription. I have taken it before and never had any problems with abusing it but it sounds like many other people have become addicted to Tram and I heard that the withdrawals from it are very severe... I definetly don't want to trade one addiction for another! I will be on here a lot, whenever I am feeling sick or blue. I think that it wasn't until I joined the forum and heard about so many other people's lives and stories about their addictions and recovery that I felt compelled to try it for myself. I don't want to live like this anymore. 3 years of taking pills everyday is WAY too long! God bless all of you for your help! Christina

[HenryS354]

It is imperative to know that attitude really is everything at this crucial point in your life.  

Use humour if need be, everytime my legs twitched, I had to laugh... at simply how ridiculous the whole concept was, I mean really?  Of course this was hard to do at night when I couldnt sleep....  But u get the idea.

Hot baths really help calm the RLS, along with the vitamins gnarly posted about.  I used them and followed some of his suggestions and am on day 9 of suboxone wd with no taper, and I feel great.  Not 100%, but I feel better.

There are going to be times you want to cave, or freak out, and you just might have some freak outs.  Cry, kick, scream, yell... whatever it takes.  You are entitled to look like a lunatic during this time.  :-)  Think of all the times we as addicts made ourselves look like a**** during our active addiction.

As for the depression, if thats a trigger for you, then address it.  Nothing wrong with a good antidepressant from the advice of your doc.  I personally am choosing to let the emotions flow and ride it out, as for me personally feeling the depression of the past 12 years will be a tool for my success in the future.

Just keep your chin up!  We all have faith in you.

HS

[LeaAnn807]

Christina, you just need to keep posting here, and stick to your plans.  You will feel bad for a few days, but when it is over you will be so glad you did it!  Just remember.....you won't need a pill for sleeping, relaxing, getting up in the morning, going to buy groceries, playing with kids or ANYTHING!  You may not feel great immediately, but it does happen.  

Be sure you have Imodium, advil, a good vitamin, gatorade or juice and plenty of comfy clothes.  Oh....and wash all of your towels!  You will be in the bath or shower a lot!!!  

Good luck!

[hurtininnc]

christina you will get alot of support here and you will need it you are getting ready to fight the battle of your life but it will be worth it for yourself and your husband and kids you are gonna have 4or5 real crappy days then it should start to get better just support each other keep posting and stay strong its a tuff battle but one you can win just keep telling yourself that your gonna beat this thing and i highly recomend that you use the thomas recipe to help you through this it will help repair the damage done to your body from the junk try to keep from freakin out and you guys can get through this together just make sure and tell your husband not to take anything personal over the next couple of days because you may say or do stuff thats out of the ordinary well keep posting we are all here for each other take care and God bless Craig

[sway1]

i know you can get clean at home even with kids because i have done it. staying clean is  the hardest part and that's where aftercare comes in. are you planning on going to meetings? i would go to some before you get really sick and then start back up as soon as you begin to feel a bit human. every person there will understand and you can get phone numbers of people to call if you feel like caving in. i wasn't exactly comfy calling strangers i just met, but there is a bond there and it can help if you let it. peace, sway

[jamajessie]

I want to be honest and realistic with you know everything seems so positive now. You still have the drugs in your system now. You and your husband are about to go through pure hell. With you and your husband both doing this at once. I'm afraid one of you will cave in. One of you will say I just can't take this any more and one of you will go get something to relieve your suffering. Then both of you will be in the same boat you were in.I hope your both thinking about outside treatment. Your telling yourself now that you can take care of the kids( I been where you are about to be before) but by the time get done running to the bathroom with the runs and vomiting your not going to be able to do anything. The only way that I can see you two possibly doing this is to be honest with everybody, get somebody to watch the kids and get into detox and treatment( do it for your kids). I want you to succeed and that is the best possible way.