Any Suggestions?

[Badactor67]

Spent most of my life 16-37 drinking, gambling, chasing women, golfing etcetera.  About 4 years ago went to a doc cause I was depressed about some sh*t or another. Mostly the fact that I was getting passed over at the family company.   He put me on Clonazepam 1mg then 2 then 3. Always liked a Vic now and again but was not using them on any thing close to a regular basis.  

Had a bad car wreck about a year later with my fiancé in the car.  Pretty amazing we survived  lost all my front teeth, both had concussions got airlifted to the hospital bloody mess! but believe me when I tell you this car saved our lives....German engineering I guess. A ford focus we would have been pulverized.  Well anyway I quit boozing and started my Hydrocodone romance.  I have always had cash so my addiction to the little fuc**ers got big pretty quick 1 or 2 to 10-12 or so a day always illicit buys I did not want it on my insurance.  

Now here is the thing.  The 2 years I was popping vics like a madman I literally transformed my life. Like I said I always had access to cash. But I was never personally wealthy.  Just lucky at birth.  Anyway on these pups I managed to take control of a family company I never thought I would get a crack at (see above behavior) I give a good deal of credit to the hydros for this.  They made me an aggressive and outgoing but not stupid and an a-hole like booze. I guess it worked pretty good in my business ventures.  

Well about 4 months ago I noticed I was popping to many vics so I decided to quit and my life has been a nightmare since.  I went the suboxone route, what I figured would be the path of least resistance.  Well those things are worse than the affliction.  Maybe because of the dose, I don't know. I was taking 16mg a day and was literally a zombie.  No sharpness. Just felt like a pile of ****.  It is like it screwed my metabolism up.  Now.... I am supposed to be running a 12mil a year company. At this point I'm hardly there.  Stomach problems like crazy bloated up 20 pounds it was  pathetic.  No motivation.  Stopped giving a sh*t.  So I went back to the vics now it seems like I have to take twice what I was taking before, and my body still feels like it hell.  Literally.  I think I am close to dying.  Dying is not an option lmao.

Any suggestions?  Please understand I can not be totally out of comission I do have to show up at work daily.  If I give up any ground there I could lose everthing I worked for career wise .  By the way I am currently broke. Lot of gambles in the market this year went bad, really bad.  I support an ex, and my new wifes family.  Not really worried about that I can make more money.  Just want my health back.  Should I try weaning down on the vics to a reasonable level (I do have chronic pain) or what? go lower on the Suboxones and ween off the Clonazepams.  Anyway, not sure what the hell is going on.  I am afraid of doctors btw. I will not go to a doctor.

[starfish1963]

Are you married???  Didn't read through the thread only your first one (sorry no time) but anyways couldn't a wife be entrusted to do your job for a week, after training of course (being it's a family company) ?????????  The wd only last a week to 11 days, depending on the time and amount of use of your doc.  
Your best bet is to get off of them because one they kill your liver as well as alcohol.
Your life style is very determental to your health in the long run.
What good is a family owned company if your not here to enjoy it?
Sorry if that sounds harsh but that is truly the best advice I could give you at this time.

God Bless :)

[worried878]

if u need any help just send me a message..i sent u one and u can respond to it..researching is the best way to go as we are trained to think doctors know their stuff..and they do as a rule...but most doctors have never been addicts and they dont understand all of this addiction stuff....16 mgs is way too much for the amount of hydro u were using and i am surprised u could keep ur eyes open,..higher doses will make some people nod out when they do not expect it..even dangerous to drive as my friend did it on the freeway!  if u feel u need it long term, then that is an option too...if u stay at a low dose then getting off of it wont be so bad...hydro wd as far as  physical part. usually lasts about a week or less...some up to 2 weeks...the mental part/speaking of the fatigue, loss of motivation and depression can last a while longer as u probably know..for me it was 2 months 2 get my energy back..exercise helped me tremendously as did the amino acid tyrosine...good luck to u and keep us posted

[Badactor67]

Again, Thanks.  I have been looking the sub stuff over and will the rest of today.  I guess my tentative plan will be to go tomorrow and get some subs.  And try 4mg and see how it works.

I see your point they are expensive and it is crazy to think Pharma does not want to make a buck.

Your comment is appreciated.  Very non-judgemental and helpful.

[worried878]

I sent u a pm

[worried878]

all doctors tell people this..there is an article in the health pages on experiences with subs from the memebers here...the sub company did an 8 hour course to allow certain doctors who attended to be certified..it is even offered online...sub is expensive and the pharmaceutical compamny would love for all of us to be on sub for a year!   then u will have wds as a rule from the sub...some people need sub long term to stay clean..others do not...many hydro users can maintain at even 2 mgs of sub in the am and 2 mgs in the pm altho i have read it is best to take all 4 in the am to quit the habit of taking pills..when i used sub short term/not to quit but when i ran out of hydros/i used 1-2 mg in the am and 1 mg in the pm and felt ..normal...i was an 80-100 mg hydro user in the past..sub will not keep u clean tho and u gotta do the work..a 21 day limit is what most use where sub is concerned as the cut off as past that sub wd can happen..not to all but to some..good luck and keep posting..lots of great info hereg

[Badactor67]

Thanks for the comments.  I appreciate the help.  

I am at about 160mg of hydros. Now when I said I was afraid of Docs I meant the regular kind.  I did go to a sub doc for subs.  And it was a little strange because over the few months I was on them he increased my dose and told me I needed to be on them for at least a year does this sound right?  I will go back If I think I should and just lower the dose on my own.  I would like to get off them earlier than a year though....

Do you think I should just go back on a low dose of subs and wean off them?  Is there any reason if you are really trying to quit to stay on them a long time?

[worried878]

100-120 mgs of vikes is comparable to 4 mgs of sub....and that is stretching it just a bit...as 1 mg is usually comparable to 30-40 mg of hydro..i say usually cos we are all different and that is wahy it is safer to have a doctor see u with sub..with hippa laws ur info is not shared with other family members..u were  zombie cos ur dose was too high on sub..smaller is better where sub is concerned
tapering of ur dose now may require help for someone u trust to hold urpilss...and aftercare is needed as well..sometimes we cant do all of this alone and secrecy can be a downfall in some cases and keep u from getting the help u need

what is ur hydro dose now?

[SuzieeQ]

Since you won't go to a doctor your only choice would be to taper down off of them. I have had addiction to valium and xanax and it was an extremly slow taper. I have read on this forum that you can taper down off of the Vic's pretty quickly same with the Sub's.

Do you have someone who can hold your pills as you taper off of them? This way you won't be tempted to take more than your taper schedule.

There will be more people on here later that have had a lot more experience with this than I have. Good luck...