Rock bottom?

[GoodOldDays]

Daily reader, infrequent poster. Right now I can't imagine a bigger loser than myself. Keeping it short - I've been swiping pills from my mother. Last month she ran out a week early and had to ask an relative for pills. That relative was not happy and everyone thinks my mother is abusing her script. She got her refill and I have already taken enough that she'll run out again - a week or more before she should. Who the **** am I? This ridiculous behavior. Somehow I have to make it right and have no clue how to.

Lately I have read some inspiring improvement stories and terrific responses. Not that I deserve anything remotely kind from anyone as I'm a complete scumbag. I want to quit. I must repair the damage. I want look in the mirror and not see a bleepin loser! Or maybe that's the reality of who I have become. A junkie dirt bag who everyone thinks is a good guy. Yea - I'm a great guy (sarcasm at the highest level).

[GoodOldDays]

Thanks - I'm happy I did share what I was doing. I also realize that only took a moment of courage. And wonder if it's really courage when I was doing what was right? All I know for now is that I have a very long road ahead. For now one hour at a time...

[winthewar]

I just wanted to say I admire your fight and honesty and it's posts like yours that let me no I also can do this!  Good for you that's awsome!

[BearsFan1966]

Also now your mom can be prepared she will run out sooner than expected. That means a lot I am sure she was going crazy wondering why she ran out early if she did not know you were taking them....
Today is the first day of the rest of your life!!!
Here we go!

[GoodOldDays]

Thank you for the support and positive encouragement! I'm very glad I told them for a few reasons. It was eating me up inside and I do need their support. Physically I feel awful but I know it'll come around. It's going to be tough. I know I can do it. Thanks again!

[dedicatedtostop]

This is great news!!! This literally brought tears to my eyes! I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!

You are going to beat this!! You are now also going to be held accountable. Surrender yourself to the detox and get into aftercare as soon as you can!
We will all be right here for you and will walk you through this!

Put your amour on and be ready to fight like a warrior! This is a life or death battle and you WILL WIN!!!

Myself, and everyone here are here for you!!!!

Proud of you!!! Now let's beat this thing!!

[GoodOldDays]

My folks and I had dinner and I sat there going back and forth in my head whether to tell or not. At the end I did. It was difficult for obvious reasons but I couldn't let that stop me. That would be selfish and leave the door open for me to continue. I saw the pain and concern on their face. I prepared them for what I'll go through for a awhile and apologized for letting them down and especially for putting my mother in a bad light and position. I feel relieved but understand this is just the first step of a long road. For the next few days my focus will be on the physical wd's and functioning enough to work. I've been here before and it ***** by is doable. By the middle of the week I'm going to start investigating aftercare. Thanks everyone for prodding me into doing the right thing and your right - they'll do whatever they can to support me. And were getting a lockbox tonight...