Rock bottom?

[GoodOldDays]

Daily reader, infrequent poster. Right now I can't imagine a bigger loser than myself. Keeping it short - I've been swiping pills from my mother. Last month she ran out a week early and had to ask an relative for pills. That relative was not happy and everyone thinks my mother is abusing her script. She got her refill and I have already taken enough that she'll run out again - a week or more before she should. Who the **** am I? This ridiculous behavior. Somehow I have to make it right and have no clue how to.

Lately I have read some inspiring improvement stories and terrific responses. Not that I deserve anything remotely kind from anyone as I'm a complete scumbag. I want to quit. I must repair the damage. I want look in the mirror and not see a bleepin loser! Or maybe that's the reality of who I have become. A junkie dirt bag who everyone thinks is a good guy. Yea - I'm a great guy (sarcasm at the highest level).

[Krissy_123]

You can make this right,as addicts we do anything to get our fix and let others suffer the consequences. Does she know it's you taking them? You need to tell her,then I'd suggest going into detox and start a recovery program. You have to start somewhere right? I go to AA/NA meetings. Been off the oxy for almost 9 months. You don't have to live this way,you just have to have courage to quit. You're not a scumbag or a junkie. You're an addict with a serious illness.

[GoodOldDays]

I typed that with nothing but disgust and anger at myself that didn't even mention that I've been swiping Vic's. Not that it matters. Taking more in a day that she is prescribed. Her beloved son making her so proud (just a little more sarcasm).