The pain addiction brings..a past some can not shake off

[worried878]

In February of 08, i stopped hydros after 4 yrs of use...a friend and I stopped together..but in reality she never stopped..I wondered why my wds were worse than hers..then later found out she was on trams the whole time

I just left the ER..went to pick up her up to go to the gym..I did not call first cos I knew she would say no....she went yesterday with me and was a first in months. She is a heavy user and was an alcoholic//fellow nurse and we used to work together...she came from a hard life/she is her own worst enemy and after becoming clean I still do not understand why i remain friends with her/it is a one way friendship/guess cos i know deep down she is a good person..and also the fact she has vitually no one to support her/mentally i mean/nor monetarily...her dad was shot in a bar/her mom died of alcoholism/..

She hurt her back lifting a patient and has not worked since/causing her to get her first taste of narcotics. and being an alcoholic altho clean/sober for yrs///the pills took hold of her..BAD...she is in the midst of packing cos she is losing her house..her x husband has been there/the 2nd x but was gone today when i pulled up///i have not judged her bout him being there..he has been helping her pack and move heavy furniture/no one else was...she lost her kids due to this guy she as the story goes/i only met him a month ago...she was married for 15 yrs/got a dui and went to AA//met this guy/married him and sposedly abuse began including the kids..he left last night as i saw the missed calls on the phone from him today/I was trying to figure out how long she laid there havng seizures...she spoke with her younger dtr at 11 pm
She is very ALONE.. VERY alone..
He called back a bit ago after i called him and cleared things up...I can tell he cares..not sure what the past was but her older dtr had called last night and said "choose" at 10 pm last night..so she sent the 2nd x husband packing and told him she could not choose him..he says the kids never liked leaving their home with their true dad and he was the scape goat..he can not go to the hospital cos her estranged brother is letting her move into a camper trailer in the backyard/and he also hates this person/the 2nd x husband/ as he was good friends with her first x husband...dunno..just worried my friend is going to die

Family dynamics can be very complicated

I knocked on her door and she was yelling/incoherent but wailing..i could not get in as her door and climbed the fence to get to the backyard..stood on the AC unit and i couldnt see her but knew she was on the floor beside the bed cos the dogs were hovering over her.
I knew she and this guy 2 houses over had sumpin recently goin on so walked over for help..didnt know his name..3 guys there..none would help me get in the house//she and I called him carpet dude) cos he has a carpet steamer business//said he did not want to get involved
She is now on the ventilator and no one knows what she took....after she was safely in the ER, her daughter and I returned to her house to figure it out...she has taken 90 trams since 11-19..but she has always taken 10-12 plus a day/90 still left as she was rx-ed 180 a month/always ran out tho.. and then CT-ed when she runs out monthly which i have told her this is dangerous numerous times/but she still had 90 left so tram wd wasnt it...30 ambien since 11-19 and 60 baclofen since 11-19...I have no idea what happened..and she is unable to say as she is now on the ventilator

shook me up....and it was by chance that I even stopped by/I didnt call first cos i knew if i asked her to go to the gym she woulda said no. but i rarely go to someones home without calling...but knew if i showed up she would go to the gym..glad I did..she lives alone and woulda laid there for much longer perhaps..she coulda possibly been on the floor for many hours..I am worried she will not live

was a wake up call..even thos she is my friend she is not honest with me about her drug use..nor is she with her dtr either..so we were at a loss to say what she took..and she has been dwelling on suicide as of late......they think it was an SSRI overdose as she had zoloft...but there were still some left..she is a nurse and often ssris will not kill u only make u a vegetable..ans since they do not make u high i just dont see her taking a whole bunch/ of those/plus if suicide was the point..she woulda took all of them

please pray for her tonite

[worried878]

She was on an ativan drip...then intubated//ie ventilator/not because she was not breathing but because if she thew up she was in too confused of a state to protect her airway...she was heavily sedated while on the vent as people fight the vent and try to pull it out..she was in restraint...I read that this is not good due to the rigid muscles and the build up of lactic acid due to being restrained...she is off the vent today breathing on her own but only mildly sedated..she is wailing and writhing around//jerking but not seizures

She still had 90 trams left..she was not in tram wd...but an overload of seratonin due to the ssri and her tram intake..which as I stated//is an everyday thing for her for a long time//the trams being added bout 3 yrs ago but she has taken way more that 90 trams in 10 days///this time it just caught up with her...she had 90 left...she would have taken them had she felt bad...she woulda taken them whether she felt bad or not because she is an addict

she was clean of any other narcotics or benzos...no controlled substances or normal drugs of abuse..that is because she finished her Avinza/30 pills in less that a week and had already gone thru wds from those..werent even any in her system...she had no benzos...but took 30 ambien in 10 days and 60 baclofen..so perhaps she bumped these 2 pills up in dose due to the avinza/morphine time released/ wd/to ease the wd...but her body is used to wd-ing every month...as she has absolutely no control and gobbles up the morphine in a week...her dtr said she would break the avinza capsule 4 at a time and chew the granules/she does not share this info with me/....but as i said this avinza wd was over...and since she only takes them one week a month due to abuse//her wd is not as awful as someone who abuses continuously because her body is used to going without/I do know she had gone thru wd and was planning to start a low paying job on monday/yesterday/I told her that her back is not what was keeping her from working..it was her addiction...
perhaps she hit the trams hard and it was more like 90 in 4-5 days...who knows?...only her and we can not aske herk

[kim715]

Keeping your friend and you in my prayers....Kim

[avisg]

She is most likely withdawling  from the tramadol at the moment. yes the main treatment for SS is stoping the drugs with seration. Then most of the time your body will get better as it gets out of your system .I dont know if I overlooked it do they have her sedated ? At this point it would probably be best .Yes SS can be fatal and no one thinks its going to happen to them but it does .Keep us informed worried she will be in all of our prayers.

[worried878]

She is off the vent..but still rigid, wailing and eyes are closed..they have pretty much narrowed it down to SERATONIN SYNDROME....she was on an ssri for years..after she was in the ER her dtr and I went back to her house...she had taken 90 trams in 10 days..which is not abnormal for her..I know she has taken 12 or more when she had enuf...and would run out often and no problems...I guess it caught up with her...musta built up in her system or sumpin....come to find out her dtr had called and gave her an ultimatum at 10 the night before that the x-hubby had to leave or she would disown her/I got his number off her caller if as he had called several times/I know she woulda ansered and he started calling at 830 am..I found her at 245 pm..after she spoke with her str/she told him to pack his bags and go/that she loved him and kissed him on the cheek///she texted with her younger dtrat 11 but never mentioned this incident/and that is the last anyone knows of how she was so it is not for sure how long she was down///but from at least 830 am that morning....it was odd that he was gone that day when i got there as he had been there for a few weeks helping her move//and she was happy with him there..he was not the father of these 2 kids/and obviously there r some issues..the older dtr who gave her the ultimatum has yet to come see her mom...

She has encephalopathy/vague/but there is no test for S syndrome..only S/S.....some part of the brain has been affected..not sure if it is long term/but could be..i googled and cases of Seratonin Syndrome usually resolve in 24 hours....11% of the cases are fatal...it is now almost 72 hours..she is really no better/she could always breath on her own but they vented her to be sure they kept an airway...now there r orders to sedate as little as possible as they are hoping she will snap out of it...It is like she is rigid, scared, I read hallucinations are part of this and she can not open her eyes but I know sumpin scary is in her mind as she groans and growls//like an animal who is very afraid...she is incontinent..almost like a crazy person...and I pray she snaps out of it...or I will be very sorry I found her..no one can live like this..I do not see how she has the nrg to continue writhing and moaning/jerking....please keep her in ur prayers...and for those abusing trams///please be safe

[dominosarah]

Hoping things are okay.......Please let us know.

[troubleinohio]

Im so sorry youre going through this. I hope your friend pulls through, and gets clean after she has recovered from this. Please keep us posted. I know this is very hard for you. You are a good friend. Sending you hugs and prayers for your friend