The pain addiction brings..a past some can not shake off

[worried878]

In February of 08, i stopped hydros after 4 yrs of use...a friend and I stopped together..but in reality she never stopped..I wondered why my wds were worse than hers..then later found out she was on trams the whole time

I just left the ER..went to pick up her up to go to the gym..I did not call first cos I knew she would say no....she went yesterday with me and was a first in months. She is a heavy user and was an alcoholic//fellow nurse and we used to work together...she came from a hard life/she is her own worst enemy and after becoming clean I still do not understand why i remain friends with her/it is a one way friendship/guess cos i know deep down she is a good person..and also the fact she has vitually no one to support her/mentally i mean/nor monetarily...her dad was shot in a bar/her mom died of alcoholism/..

She hurt her back lifting a patient and has not worked since/causing her to get her first taste of narcotics. and being an alcoholic altho clean/sober for yrs///the pills took hold of her..BAD...she is in the midst of packing cos she is losing her house..her x husband has been there/the 2nd x but was gone today when i pulled up///i have not judged her bout him being there..he has been helping her pack and move heavy furniture/no one else was...she lost her kids due to this guy she as the story goes/i only met him a month ago...she was married for 15 yrs/got a dui and went to AA//met this guy/married him and sposedly abuse began including the kids..he left last night as i saw the missed calls on the phone from him today/I was trying to figure out how long she laid there havng seizures...she spoke with her younger dtr at 11 pm
She is very ALONE.. VERY alone..
He called back a bit ago after i called him and cleared things up...I can tell he cares..not sure what the past was but her older dtr had called last night and said "choose" at 10 pm last night..so she sent the 2nd x husband packing and told him she could not choose him..he says the kids never liked leaving their home with their true dad and he was the scape goat..he can not go to the hospital cos her estranged brother is letting her move into a camper trailer in the backyard/and he also hates this person/the 2nd x husband/ as he was good friends with her first x husband...dunno..just worried my friend is going to die

Family dynamics can be very complicated

I knocked on her door and she was yelling/incoherent but wailing..i could not get in as her door and climbed the fence to get to the backyard..stood on the AC unit and i couldnt see her but knew she was on the floor beside the bed cos the dogs were hovering over her.
I knew she and this guy 2 houses over had sumpin recently goin on so walked over for help..didnt know his name..3 guys there..none would help me get in the house//she and I called him carpet dude) cos he has a carpet steamer business//said he did not want to get involved
She is now on the ventilator and no one knows what she took....after she was safely in the ER, her daughter and I returned to her house to figure it out...she has taken 90 trams since 11-19..but she has always taken 10-12 plus a day/90 still left as she was rx-ed 180 a month/always ran out tho.. and then CT-ed when she runs out monthly which i have told her this is dangerous numerous times/but she still had 90 left so tram wd wasnt it...30 ambien since 11-19 and 60 baclofen since 11-19...I have no idea what happened..and she is unable to say as she is now on the ventilator

shook me up....and it was by chance that I even stopped by/I didnt call first cos i knew if i asked her to go to the gym she woulda said no. but i rarely go to someones home without calling...but knew if i showed up she would go to the gym..glad I did..she lives alone and woulda laid there for much longer perhaps..she coulda possibly been on the floor for many hours..I am worried she will not live

was a wake up call..even thos she is my friend she is not honest with me about her drug use..nor is she with her dtr either..so we were at a loss to say what she took..and she has been dwelling on suicide as of late......they think it was an SSRI overdose as she had zoloft...but there were still some left..she is a nurse and often ssris will not kill u only make u a vegetable..ans since they do not make u high i just dont see her taking a whole bunch/ of those/plus if suicide was the point..she woulda took all of them

please pray for her tonite

[beatingthis]

WOW, I am so sorry for her and you. Thank God you were there. I have goose bumps.
My prayers for her her kids and you.
You my friend are a good friend.....

Love,

Terry

[10356]

wow worried I'm very sorry to read this about your friend.. How sad. I'm also grateful that you went to the house... I will say a prayer for her that she survives and this is her bottom.. You know I was looking at the meds she was taking and saw the comment on ssri.. as a long time drug addict I can not take anything.. I mean even if it did not give me a high. just a deadness would do as long as it was something ya know. I once was took meds that was meant for a mentally challenged person in a foster home and went on the longest scariest trip I have ever been.. see it could be anything with some drug addicts..
I'm very sorry you are experiencing this as it is very sad when someone you are vested in continues the destruction.. I have had to end a very long relationship with a girlfriend of 30 years for these reasons about 14 years ago  I was going down with her. ended up I went down on my own.. I'm so glad you are clean and I hope this strengthens your determination to protect it.. warm hugs lesa

[dominosarah]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend worried.  Hopefully she will pull thru this and get the help that she needs.  There was a reason why you showed up when you did.  You will both be in my prayers tonight........sara