The pain addiction brings..a past some can not shake off

[worried878]

In February of 08, i stopped hydros after 4 yrs of use...a friend and I stopped together..but in reality she never stopped..I wondered why my wds were worse than hers..then later found out she was on trams the whole time

I just left the ER..went to pick up her up to go to the gym..I did not call first cos I knew she would say no....she went yesterday with me and was a first in months. She is a heavy user and was an alcoholic//fellow nurse and we used to work together...she came from a hard life/she is her own worst enemy and after becoming clean I still do not understand why i remain friends with her/it is a one way friendship/guess cos i know deep down she is a good person..and also the fact she has vitually no one to support her/mentally i mean/nor monetarily...her dad was shot in a bar/her mom died of alcoholism/..

She hurt her back lifting a patient and has not worked since/causing her to get her first taste of narcotics. and being an alcoholic altho clean/sober for yrs///the pills took hold of her..BAD...she is in the midst of packing cos she is losing her house..her x husband has been there/the 2nd x but was gone today when i pulled up///i have not judged her bout him being there..he has been helping her pack and move heavy furniture/no one else was...she lost her kids due to this guy she as the story goes/i only met him a month ago...she was married for 15 yrs/got a dui and went to AA//met this guy/married him and sposedly abuse began including the kids..he left last night as i saw the missed calls on the phone from him today/I was trying to figure out how long she laid there havng seizures...she spoke with her younger dtr at 11 pm
She is very ALONE.. VERY alone..
He called back a bit ago after i called him and cleared things up...I can tell he cares..not sure what the past was but her older dtr had called last night and said "choose" at 10 pm last night..so she sent the 2nd x husband packing and told him she could not choose him..he says the kids never liked leaving their home with their true dad and he was the scape goat..he can not go to the hospital cos her estranged brother is letting her move into a camper trailer in the backyard/and he also hates this person/the 2nd x husband/ as he was good friends with her first x husband...dunno..just worried my friend is going to die

Family dynamics can be very complicated

I knocked on her door and she was yelling/incoherent but wailing..i could not get in as her door and climbed the fence to get to the backyard..stood on the AC unit and i couldnt see her but knew she was on the floor beside the bed cos the dogs were hovering over her.
I knew she and this guy 2 houses over had sumpin recently goin on so walked over for help..didnt know his name..3 guys there..none would help me get in the house//she and I called him carpet dude) cos he has a carpet steamer business//said he did not want to get involved
She is now on the ventilator and no one knows what she took....after she was safely in the ER, her daughter and I returned to her house to figure it out...she has taken 90 trams since 11-19..but she has always taken 10-12 plus a day/90 still left as she was rx-ed 180 a month/always ran out tho.. and then CT-ed when she runs out monthly which i have told her this is dangerous numerous times/but she still had 90 left so tram wd wasnt it...30 ambien since 11-19 and 60 baclofen since 11-19...I have no idea what happened..and she is unable to say as she is now on the ventilator

shook me up....and it was by chance that I even stopped by/I didnt call first cos i knew if i asked her to go to the gym she woulda said no. but i rarely go to someones home without calling...but knew if i showed up she would go to the gym..glad I did..she lives alone and woulda laid there for much longer perhaps..she coulda possibly been on the floor for many hours..I am worried she will not live

was a wake up call..even thos she is my friend she is not honest with me about her drug use..nor is she with her dtr either..so we were at a loss to say what she took..and she has been dwelling on suicide as of late......they think it was an SSRI overdose as she had zoloft...but there were still some left..she is a nurse and often ssris will not kill u only make u a vegetable..ans since they do not make u high i just dont see her taking a whole bunch/ of those/plus if suicide was the point..she woulda took all of them

please pray for her tonite

[dominosarah]

This is so scary.  Does she know what has happened?  Any word on where she is going once she is stable enough to be let out of the hospital?  You are so right when you say there isnt enough pills in the world to keep us happy after our tolerance has built up.  There is only way to go in this addiction and that is straight to the depths of he!! if we dont clean up.  Thank god i chose to get clean......Your a good woman worried and you come here every night to help others.  Bless your heart girl.  We would be lost without you          hugs       sara

[worried878]

No one is still positive what has happened her...she is hypertensive and is on a BP med that she takes daily..se is out of icu and on the floor now...still cycling btw moments of lucidity to talking bout crazy stuff and acting almost child  like in a way...using is just not worth it...I am worried she may have finally lost her inner self that we know..over pills,,

this stuff called addiction never moves forward,,,u only regress,,there is not enuf pills in the world to keep us happy after tolerence takes its course..and most begin to isolate themselves and battle depression..there comes a time that no no matter how many pills u take..u will not good amymore//the thrill is gone///it just taint no fun anymore....then u will know..and then u will begin to let go

if u decuide to get clean again..postwith us...we have all been where u r now....list the reasons u quit and answer the question "If I continue to use will these situations go away?".chances r that they wont..the monsters will grow and grow into  big ferocious animals that u will have to fight much harder later on if u do not get it downe..let go..it is 99 upstairs.  we do what our brain tells us to do...we have control over our min....always know that what ur mind tells u to do is only a misnomer...ur mind is directed by u,,,u can do this

[Holliee]

Yea worried how is your friend doing> I hope better give us an update

[dominosarah]

How is your friend worried?

[beatingthis]

Great news! Please keep us updated. How are you holding up?

T

[troubleinohio]

im glad she has shown signs of improvement and also signs of cognizance. I have a question..are they giving her tram there? or is she in WD from it currently? Just wondered since she was on sucha high dose of it and for so long.

[dominosarah]

I am also relieved.  Will she be going to some sort of rehab when she is out of ICU?  She is lucky to have you as a friend.......sara

[10356]

I'm relieved she is coming around worried. I agree you are a very good friend...

[Holliee]

I am so sorry for your friend and I hope she gets better an gets the help she needs. Your a wonderful friend and I am glad that the Lord sent you by her house. I will keep you and her in my prayers... keep us posted.. Thanks for all info on SSRI    Hollie

[worried878]

She is better today!  still in 4 point restraint..arms and legs..still moaning and jerking..carpet burns/well sheet burns on her elbows from all of this movement..they say she sleeps/catnaps maybe 5 minutes and starts back up with constant motion...I know she may hurt herself without restraint..she is in icu so visiting is 30 minutes 4 x a day...but she did open her eyes/half way

I was talking to her and she stopped the motion...it looked like it was a tough struggle but she got her eyes open half way...she looked at me and i asked her sumpin..she nodded yes....then i asked he sumpin else and she said "I dont know" not perfect but understandable..then she became agitated and went back off into her continuous motion again...she also responded to the dtr for a 30 seconds or so..and the nurse said she responded to her earlier..it is a good sign

If i was not toally with the program and could not open my eyes..and could not move my arms and legs either..i would be in a panic..even if i was totally conscious i would be..I told her to quit fighting so she could get out of restraint.."Please just be still for a few hours and maybe they will untie ur feet"  dunno..will check on her tomorrow when i get a brak from work

thanx for ur prayers u guys!  It is helping

[dominosarah]

Make sure you let us know how she is when you can.......sara

[worried878]

yes zoloft is a ssri..meaning a drug which boosts seratonin by blocking the re-absorption of seratonin..so it hangs around longer

Prozac and effexor are among the stronger of the ssris..actually prozac is a SNRI..meaning it blocks re-uptake of norepinephrine and seratonin...effexor is a snri..so it blox re-absorption of norepinephrine and seratonin...all of these andtidepressants are involved in increasing seratonin...even wellbutrin which is primarily a dopamine enhancer affects seratonin as well...cymbalta affects NE, Seratonin and Dopamine

, SSRIs
Celexa (citalopram)
Lexapro (escitalopram oxalate)
Luvox (fluvoxamine)
Paxil (paroxetine)
Prozac (fluoxetine)
Zoloft (sertraline)



SNRIs
Cymbalta (duloxetine)
Effexor (venlafaxine)
Pristiq (desvenlafaxine)

MAOIs/these are particularly dangerous but nor often RX-ed unless depression is severe
Nardil (phenelzine)
Parnate (tranylcypromine)

Signs and Symptoms...can be mild to severe..11% mortality rate..usually resolves in 24 hours
-Cognitive effects: mental confusion, hypomania, agitation, headache, coma.
-Autonomic effects: shivering, sweating, fever, hypertension, tachycardia, nausea, diarrhea.
-Somatic effects: myoclonus/clonus, hyperreflexia, tremor. (muscle rigidity and jerking movements) which can appear like seizures but are not seizures.  but seizures can also occur
-Sleep disturbances, itching and hives may also be reported.


There are lots of other stuff that affects seratonin levels...destromethorphan HBR that is in nyquil and many cough suppressants affects seratonin levels
Also, diet pills or any amphetamine...a case was sited where a college student on Effexor and also on phentermine died of Seratonin Syndrome.  MDMA causes an increase as well...narcotics also affects seratonin levels and is why we feel so happy when we r on them/in the beginning I mean/but tramdol/Ultram have a more strong AD quality than most narcotics......it is narcotic like but affects the same receptors narcotics do/and is a weak pain reliever and potentiall addicting..but the AD effect of tram is what usually hooks people as it increases seratonin levels much more than most narcotics...so it is addictive in 2 ways..the AD quality causing bad depression with wd and the narcotic aspect of the drug...Being it is a weak pain reliever...to me i stay away from it..even when I was using..didnt know bout all this when i took it yrs ago..just never liked it cos i got no pain relief

off to see her now...hoping for the best

[narla]

Can someone tell me what ssri's are is zoloft one.

[worried878]

hugs to u too domino

this forum is as great as it is cos of people like u!

ttyl

[dominosarah]

This is so sad and the ugly reality of drug addiction.......You are all in my prayers.  Hugs my friend         sara

[worried878]

You know..i never evn thought about the meds...no narcs/well real narcs there...90 trams..but never have been a tram user//so no appeal for me...other stuff like ADs and a bunch of empty bottle...that is how we know how many baclofen and ambien she took..she loves ambien???

And Denise, thanks for ur concern...yes i am ok..what choice do I have?  LOL  I was shaking for 2 hours after I found her...I have been thru alot of my own issues lately and finally started a new job a few weeks ago...and I thought my luck was changing..but this is about her/not me...this is the second time in the past 2 years I have found someone..the other had eaten nuts and found she had developed an allergy to them..she could barely breath as she her throat was swelling up ..I am like geez...was I sposed to be a paramedic! anyway,  I called 911 and she had benadryl there so I managed to get it into her mouth and she was hospitalized but pulled through

Guess I should not have shot that humor there as there is nuttin funny about addiction at all ..but I guess sometimes life gets so crazy you have to have humor..or you may have trouble making it thru!

[corey411]

So sad Worried. I will keep you and your friend in my good thoughts and prayers. You are a good friend.

[10356]

My prayers are also with your friend and yourself worried.. lesa

[worried878]

She was on an ativan drip...then intubated//ie ventilator/not because she was not breathing but because if she thew up she was in too confused of a state to protect her airway...she was heavily sedated while on the vent as people fight the vent and try to pull it out..she was in restraint...I read that this is not good due to the rigid muscles and the build up of lactic acid due to being restrained...she is off the vent today breathing on her own but only mildly sedated..she is wailing and writhing around//jerking but not seizures

She still had 90 trams left..she was not in tram wd...but an overload of seratonin due to the ssri and her tram intake..which as I stated//is an everyday thing for her for a long time//the trams being added bout 3 yrs ago but she has taken way more that 90 trams in 10 days///this time it just caught up with her...she had 90 left...she would have taken them had she felt bad...she woulda taken them whether she felt bad or not because she is an addict

she was clean of any other narcotics or benzos...no controlled substances or normal drugs of abuse..that is because she finished her Avinza/30 pills in less that a week and had already gone thru wds from those..werent even any in her system...she had no benzos...but took 30 ambien in 10 days and 60 baclofen..so perhaps she bumped these 2 pills up in dose due to the avinza/morphine time released/ wd/to ease the wd...but her body is used to wd-ing every month...as she has absolutely no control and gobbles up the morphine in a week...her dtr said she would break the avinza capsule 4 at a time and chew the granules/she does not share this info with me/....but as i said this avinza wd was over...and since she only takes them one week a month due to abuse//her wd is not as awful as someone who abuses continuously because her body is used to going without/I do know she had gone thru wd and was planning to start a low paying job on monday/yesterday/I told her that her back is not what was keeping her from working..it was her addiction...
perhaps she hit the trams hard and it was more like 90 in 4-5 days...who knows?...only her and we can not aske herk

[kim715]

Keeping your friend and you in my prayers....Kim

[avisg]

She is most likely withdawling  from the tramadol at the moment. yes the main treatment for SS is stoping the drugs with seration. Then most of the time your body will get better as it gets out of your system .I dont know if I overlooked it do they have her sedated ? At this point it would probably be best .Yes SS can be fatal and no one thinks its going to happen to them but it does .Keep us informed worried she will be in all of our prayers.

[worried878]

She is off the vent..but still rigid, wailing and eyes are closed..they have pretty much narrowed it down to SERATONIN SYNDROME....she was on an ssri for years..after she was in the ER her dtr and I went back to her house...she had taken 90 trams in 10 days..which is not abnormal for her..I know she has taken 12 or more when she had enuf...and would run out often and no problems...I guess it caught up with her...musta built up in her system or sumpin....come to find out her dtr had called and gave her an ultimatum at 10 the night before that the x-hubby had to leave or she would disown her/I got his number off her caller if as he had called several times/I know she woulda ansered and he started calling at 830 am..I found her at 245 pm..after she spoke with her str/she told him to pack his bags and go/that she loved him and kissed him on the cheek///she texted with her younger dtrat 11 but never mentioned this incident/and that is the last anyone knows of how she was so it is not for sure how long she was down///but from at least 830 am that morning....it was odd that he was gone that day when i got there as he had been there for a few weeks helping her move//and she was happy with him there..he was not the father of these 2 kids/and obviously there r some issues..the older dtr who gave her the ultimatum has yet to come see her mom...

She has encephalopathy/vague/but there is no test for S syndrome..only S/S.....some part of the brain has been affected..not sure if it is long term/but could be..i googled and cases of Seratonin Syndrome usually resolve in 24 hours....11% of the cases are fatal...it is now almost 72 hours..she is really no better/she could always breath on her own but they vented her to be sure they kept an airway...now there r orders to sedate as little as possible as they are hoping she will snap out of it...It is like she is rigid, scared, I read hallucinations are part of this and she can not open her eyes but I know sumpin scary is in her mind as she groans and growls//like an animal who is very afraid...she is incontinent..almost like a crazy person...and I pray she snaps out of it...or I will be very sorry I found her..no one can live like this..I do not see how she has the nrg to continue writhing and moaning/jerking....please keep her in ur prayers...and for those abusing trams///please be safe

[dominosarah]

Hoping things are okay.......Please let us know.

[troubleinohio]

Im so sorry youre going through this. I hope your friend pulls through, and gets clean after she has recovered from this. Please keep us posted. I know this is very hard for you. You are a good friend. Sending you hugs and prayers for your friend