to my friends

[cathy5841]

hi, i got some yuckky news on monday.  on friday i have to have some major oral surgery. some bones have to be shaved and a joint replaced in the jaw..the dr said it is from grinding my jaw while on coke.  anyway, when i stopped the pills i said i would never touch them again....i told this to my dr.  his response was you will have to take them a week maybe more, the pain will be unbearable with out them.   i cried but he said its not going to change you have to.  my husband said he would hold the pills and give as needed.  i finally agreed to 3 days and no more.

anyway, i am sorry guys.  i will have my 90 days on thursday and then wham....i dont feel like i can be as effective helping you guys if i am using, even if it is as prescribed.  i am so sad.  i love all of all you...and this site for me has truely been a blessing.  i will still be around and watching out for you all.   ill let you know when i get home it went.

love ya'll
cathy

[newgirl2708]

You should not be in any pain. Take as perscribed. I think it will be different this time. Somehow, I just feel it. Like yesterday for bandmom, she said something changed. I also went through this this weekend. Didn't want anything at all, then on monday a.m. I had to take one pill for symptoms, not boredom or high. Real live pain. I think my wiring is better once I've tappered/stopped. Something changes though for sure. It's scarry for sure...we're here for you!!!!

[FAITHFUL74]

Please do not let this make you feel guilty... there is nothing wrong with taking pain medication as prescribed for valid reasons... its the abuse that is wrong! Your not sliding backwards, this is just a little bump in your road of recovery, as long as you are not abusing them you are not falling back into your addiction!!! Please stay with us... you are so supportive and people here need you! I think it is perfectly fine to take the pain meds for the time that you are in pain... I am two months clean and if I were faced with that, I would have to take them, but, it is a good idea to have someone (husband) to hold and look out for you!
We love ya!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

CATHY!!!! You have to stay around! Period! 'nough said!

[flmagi]

This is a situation that cannot be avoided. All the more reason for you to keep posting here. This is the real world. We will all probably have a time in our lives when pain meds are absolutley needed. We need to see people get clean and then handle the inevidable. I think this is a big fear of those people that get clean. What happens if I need pain meds? What if I'm in an accident? This is all part of the whole picture.  We can't be sheltered away for ever. Please keep posting ...you're not gonna be able to talk to well, so you might as well type.
Good luck with the surgery, it sounds pretty awful. ouch.

[BigWill79]

We are not martyrs.  You do not have to suffer because of your addiction.  You deserve to be healthy and pain just like everyone else.  Giving your husband the pills to distribute is a great idea.  Stay on the board or in NA or in therapy or whatever your aftercare is and you will be fine.  Go in to the surgery with a strong mind and you will be great.  You will be great.  

[nuredshuz]

cathy, congrats on your 90 days!!  your doing so great and  you are an inspiration!!  I agree with everyone else that said you are not regressing back to your addiciton by having to take pain management medication for surgery.  If you dont manage your pain, you will not be able to recover properly. I had 4 c-sections and the first 3 were horrible and extremely painful  the last one I got a much better pain management med in the epidoral that made my recovery time very fast that I didnt even need any other pain meds until like 24 hours later and I was able to stand on my own the same day!  The manufacturers of the meds made them for that purpose.  Were the ones (addicts) who took it too far and abused a good thing.  If you take the meds to manage pain and take the least amount possible to manage your pain, your doing what your supposed to do. Please dont be hard on yourself.  

Maybe you could view it like someone who is addicted to food.  They have to come to a place where they manage their food intake since they need food to survive but have gotten into the habit of numbing their emotional pain with it. They have to fix their relationship with food.  People who have to take pain meds who have abused them and dont wanna go back down that road have to have a new relationship with the meds.  Use them only for their purpose, which is to manage your pain so you can recover properly.  I think its a great idea to have your spouse hold them.  Thats what I am going to do too, since I have to take meds for buldging disks in my neck pressing on my spinal cord and some in my lower lumbar area pressuring my sciatic nerve.

I hope the very best for you and I will be keeping you in my prayers.  You are definately a ray of hope and sunshine on this forum.  Please dont leave!!!  :) Peace

[confused456]

As I stated last night, I will keep you in my prayers! You are such an inspiring person! I hope the surgery goes well. Much love and hugs!

[Needhelp59]

You will do fine!  You are too knowledgeable and have come too far to let those things get a hold of you again.  You will be in pain - just take as directed and stop as soon as possible and you'll be great.  Don't look at this as a setback!!

[ladyluv]

I am sorry to hear about what you are about to go through not just the fact of getting pills but the surgery too...you will alright you are very strong,shoot you have kept it so real with me personally that i know you will be fine!!!! and yes you can still be a great deal of help you are going to be using because you have to cath, we all know that...anywya keep ya head up girl!!!!  and hurry back you are a great inspriration to all up on here...well at least me! lol

peace and love

[bobby139]

It will be ok Cathy, The more you get yourself upset the less your body can fight the pain and mend itself. I've heard that if you take the pain med's as it is directed that 1 week won't do harm but any longer will. Thank god ur husband is there to help. We will all be on pins and needles so let us know how Fri gose and keep us posted. We are all here behind you and praying.

[Flutterby111]

WE LOVE CATHY!!!  here's to CATHY and her 90 DAYS and many many more!!!!!  

[Jacqui805]

Right back at ya babe!

[cathy5841]

you guys are the best,  thats why i love this place:)

[Jacqui805]

I agree with everyone here about using the meds.  Homey, I almost had that surgery (TMJ issue) years ago, and I don't know if there's enough intestinal fortitude or whatever to do it without pain relief.  This is NOT in any way abusing drugs.  Even when someone has an addiction in their past, this is not supposed to be a factor in providing them with adequate pain relief in the future.  You're not doing anything wrong here, and I too, think it's commendable that you'll give the meds. to your spouse for holding.  What kind of mental status, let alone physical do you think you'd be in after having a joint replaced without pain relief?  I'm thinking it'd be a bad scene, and I can't even imagine that you'd get a doc. to do it without the meds.  I'm proud of you for considering all of the issues at hand here, don't you think that says alot?  I sure do.  Good luck with your surgery.  I wish you the best.

Jacqui

[Oxykicker]

Cathy my heart and soul are with you, this time it is a medical condition and because you will be taking for pain only I pray you will be ok, please post as soon as you are able, you helped me get through all my pain and I cannot thank you enough.

I am sure all will be fine, you are stronger now than ever, and you are aware of all the pitfalls, we are here for you always.

David.

[road2recovery]

I am so sorry to hear this....but there is nothing you can do about it,,,you have to have it done...I know you will do fine, and take them as needed, and you won't have any w/'ds
but don't leave us because of that...this can happen to any of us and probably will one day...WE just have to prepare ourselves for this....And be honest with the doctor as you did...Then give to someone to hold.....
I am happy you shared this with us!!!
i will be praying for you, but i KNOW you will do just fine..
r2r

[bandnmom]

Thanks. totally made me laugh! Let me know when u do it so i can here the FLUSH! LMAO!!

[worried878]

Yey...you will be fine....abusing pills is totally different and that is what we do not want to do again...I know that also means that when we have to take pills for any reason...we will have to  be careful...and you will be...I am more worried about that surgery   ouch!

[feohmoon]

You have done, and will continue to do well.  You have come too far and are too strong to fall victim to this again.  If you take them as prescribed - you will have no problem at all.
I have taken pills on and off for 15 years and never had a problem until I began the heavy usage daily - not as needed!  
We are so sorry you are having to go through that, sounds like quiet a surgery.  We will keep you in our prayers.  You are a very strong lady...you have come so far and helped so many people with your kind words and compassion.  We will all be here to help and support you once you are home with your meds.  
You just take care of yourself and be concerned about things that need your attention prior to your surgery...do not worry about the meds.  In fact, try to disassociate those meds with your previous DOC.  At this time it is in your best interest to have that prescription.
Best of luck and continue posting.  You said your surgery is Friday, March 7.  That is a great day to have dental surgery, you will do fine.

[slk714]

i know you are gonna get thru this like a trooper, you have been my rock. i am sorry for any pain you endure, and i do believe if they are not being abused, there is a right time and place for pain meds. i wish you the best, i will miss you during your recovery. you have  been such a valuable part of my road to sobriety. now it's time for you. good luck, i will be thinking about you =)
love ya
sandi

[cathy5841]

thanks you know i love all of ya'll.  i am going to be responsible taking them i promise.  i owe it to my recovery!  bandmom you did great yesterday...i am gonna save one pill (at least) to flush in honor of you. lol

[allaboutmary]

I'm so sorry your going through this.  You must take care of you first. As far as your clean time, this is not your fault. Your doctor is telling you must take these and he is right.  It in NO WAY means you have failed yourself or any of us.  If you feell up to it you can still help here on the forum.  You are such an impotant part of this forum. Always giving such great responces and support.  Things like this will probably happen to all of us in our future and I can only hope that I can deal with it with the same courage you have.  Take care of you girl !   Sending you much love.   Hugs   Mary

[Flutterby111]

Don't be silly, you are still an assett here and can help!  If you're not taking them to get high, there's the difference right there....you just take care of you, and have your husband help....as far as I'm concerned, you can still count the days as long as you take them as prescribed no more....I love you girl...we need you here....I know I do...you can't leave me while my brain is "out to lunch"....I'm here for you....

[bandnmom]

Keep counting your days. You deserve to!  Take as prescribed. You have come so far. Sometimes there is just no way around it. You are gonna be in alot of pain it sounds like so you are gonna need to take them. This time remember the need is real not for pleasure. You can do this. Think of it as a test. God throws us all a test here and there. Think of it like that. i passed my test just yesterday. Remember? You all were there for me and i ill be there for you. Let us know how it goes.