Mad at myself

[worried878]

I pushed/pulled on a patient yestereday and I did not go get help and I should have...I felt my neck start hurting  after i did it and now my arm keeps falling asleep...I am glad I dont have any pills and this is when i really hate the fact that i abused them and now I cant take them when I need them...it will pass in a few days but I am mad at myself for doing something that stupid..I did not realize he could not help me until I was into it already..I am going to go to the chiropractor and try to ice it...just a big bummer and I am venting I guess

[kimmieb]

Laura, I'm so sorry i'm just seeing this post now (thursday morning around 9:30).  i didn't know you were having such a bad day (was it yesterday??)....i don't get on here all that often....and when i do....i have to skim quickly  most of the time....try to help or contribute where/when i can....but since we've been corresponding and you have always been there for me....i feel doubly bad that i didn't see this until now :-(  how are you doing?? any better today??  you have been SUCH an inspiration to me, as i lurk and think and try to figure out how i'm gonna eventually do what you've already done.....i know the mental side of this is REALLY tough.....but add to that the real need for pain relief....and it truly sucks that you can't take what might truly help your pain....BUT, BUT....i remember what you said awhile back about when you "relapsed" (not really) and took some lortabs not too long ago for some pain....and you said they just made you feel 'bad"....remember that??  so they'd probably do the same thing to you now....remember the "bad" feeling?  i'm so glad to hear you go to a chiropractor....lifesavers....since you're off for a few days, do the hot and cold thing....can you take like 800  of ibuprofen....does that do anything for you??...i know you mentioned steroids...my pain mgmt guy just talked about that with me at our last appt....with all my experience with pain meds, never knew that steroids could do that....but i guess they can....and aren't addictive, right? (can't get a buzz or a high or whatever).....so i hope that helps you....you have come waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to far to turn back now....these stupid lortabs are life stealers and mood stealers and happiness stealers and killers....please, even though mentally you may be craving one now and physically needing one, be strong and do whatever else you can to take care of your real pain....you will continue to be my inspiration :-)....keep up the fight....you do it so well....and you're entitled to feel weak and need some help and support every now and then....you're always on here supporting everyone.....so seldom do i see a post from you asking for support....you need it now?.....you've definitely got it from me, and from what i see, from so many others, too.....post to let us know how you're doin' today, ok??  know that we're all here....and praying for you.....and wishing you well.....all the love, support, and compassion you give to others is comin' right back at ya, girfriend :-)  love, kimmie

[bobby139]

worry> good attitude girl, take care of yourself I'm glad that you have the next few days off.

Army> no dont ever give up hunting, i just sent in my permits for the draws and thats the first thing i thought of was **** i will be hunting straight this yr. prolly wont hit nothin lol.
bobby

[worried878]

Heavy patients are the norm these days....Has the whole world has become overweight or maybe that is the majority i see as they are sick more often?  Dont know but something has to give...not enough staff to deal with the size of patients anymore as almost everyone working is female...and I feel sorry for the few males that are nurses as they are used as fork lifts all the time...just feeling sorry for myself and it will pass...gonna go refill my steroids

[Army220]

Worried,

Hang in there.  You are doing great.  What about an ice pack or heat.  Would that work?

I can see myself now when you start to mention 300lbs.  The first time I try to pull a 200lb deer or 400lb bear out of a northern michigan swamp this fall makes me cringe.  NO VIKES to give me the surge and aching back the next morning.

I guess I better give up hunting.  Not....

Anyways..Hang in there and be careful with them patients.

Army

[confused456]

OK dang it all, I am just getting my **** together to go back to school and finish my Nursing...LOL...no I can totally relate, I worked in Nursing Homes for several years and there is not enough help and so I was always just doing **** I knew would hurt me in the end, but sometimes there is no other option and I am 4 ft. 11 in.....LOL....so ya that works wonders for me in the lifts!! NOT!!!

[LONESOME]

I know about that adding more and more, I'm in the medical field to and I'm always running around helping the nurse and the front and everywhere at the end of the day I'm so tired, I'm the office manager and I'm normally in office close and high hills but latetly I'm in scrubs and tennis shoes lol is allergy sesson and is bad here.

[worried878]

Good idea....i will do that...did not even think of that but it does help...in fact i think i have a refill for a that....thanx for the idea..and i am off for the next 4 days...will help...i went back after lunch to work and to a staff meeting...looks like they are gonna add to my work load...my mom was like "do u get a raise for that?" LOL!   I am like "NO"   now i will have the nusrsing home..4 units in the hospital and now split time in the outpatient wound care center...I am an ET nurse and am in charge of wounds and ostomies ..that is why I have to turn people to look at pressure ulcers ...nursing can be a real pain in the butt as they are always adding more and more to your job...a good job can turn sour in a heartbeat!

[LONESOME]

Try to get some Prednisone or a medrol pack and some celebrex that help me when I had the problem with my back.
Hope you feel better soon and you will just hung it thight ok
GS

[bobby139]

worried...I feel for you, I know what it feels like to be in pain and not be able to take something, it sucks...
Dang I thought i had it bad with my patients, the olny thing i have to worry about is getting bit...or kicked lol.....you and jaqui have to deal with some big ppl....mine are animals, I mean real animals lmao
bobby

[hopsing94]

I feel like you sometimes. Right now since i'm using I don't but when I was'nt I would think I could use something for this or that pain but can't because of my past. I can't get anything from my doctor either. My doctor will not prescribe a narcotic to me anymore which is a good thing and I won't go to another doctor.

[Firefaery1023]

I feel for you.  I have pain too but if I had the pills I would abuse them.  I will be thinking about you, take care of your back.
Lots of Love,
Fire

[worried878]

thanks for the support...I feel really stupid for doing it and I could have gotten help...he was close to 300 lbs but he seemed like he was going to help at first ...then when i went to push him over...he did not...dead weight..I should have stopped right then instead of continuing to roll him over...I know I have to be careful and sometimes when i do this it can take a long time to get it back ok again....it has been a while since i injured it...it hurts everyday but not like this...and I knew 5 minutes after i did it...my neck became uncomfortable and i started stretching and popping it...then it just gets worse from there....angry a little at myself...thanks tho and I am so sorry u r hurting...chronic pain gets so tiresome...it gets me depressed

[Jacqui805]

I have been in a bad way, still am I suppose, just havin' a better day mentally...anyway, the pain's been bad, real bad...and IF I had pills, I would have a hard time not taking them to relieve it...point being, if you don't have 'em, DON'T get 'em....

[Jacqui805]

My very first experience that started me on these meds. was from turning a patient with A.L.S.  We were short-staffed (like who isn't?), and there was no one else.  This man was 240 pounds of dead weight and I was 110 lbs.  It was dumb, but I did it.  I can relate.

[worried878]

I am fighting the urge to get some lortabs and I know I will regret it..I need to go thru this kinda stuff without them..it is hard sometimes and I know everyone knows this...just sux