day 5 clean and I just got 20 vicodin...help please

[done4good]

I have been thru withdrawal hell this week and in a weak moment I called my pharm to ask for a refill yesterday. I didn't think my dr would ok it since it'd only been a week since I got 20 from him.
Well, right after an NA meeting tonight I got the msg that my prescription was ready. I am still feeling sick and wanted the relief the stupid pills would bring.
Anyway, I took 2. I want to throw the rest in the toilet but am worried I'll be going thru withdrawals all over again. Will 2 pills make me start all over again???
I'm really scared...I can't go thru another week like this.
....wanting to be DONE4good, but apparently not strong enough

[kimmieb]

i get that...why do we always want to "just keep a few" all the time....is it in case of emergency?  if we get a toothache in the middle of the night and can't stand the pain?  is it just for mental well-being?  why do we always feel that way?  i don't think we can have it that way and stay clean....it's the nature of the beast....they're there, we'll find a reason to eventually take them....don't ask me why....don't know....if you've been off since Sunday, the congratulations to you!  that's awesome...way to go....keep on goin'....you've come far in 5 days or so....those are the worst 5 days....you did it already....way to go...just keep it up and you'll be great

[done4good]

ok I flushed 5, 13 to go...
I don't mean to be a drama queen here but I'm having a hard time just dumping all of them. They've always been so dang hard to get. stupid, addict reasoning I know...

[done4good]

you guys are so right.
The demon in me wants to keep just a few. Worried did you flush them after 4 days? Did you get withdrawals from those 4 days?

[cathy5841]

if you will flush them you will be telling your addiction you are done.  it will give you the power you are looking for.  you should be close to being over the hardest part of your w/ds if you have been off since sunday.  you really dont want to have to go through that again, now do ya?

[worried878]

i did it a few weeks ago...took them after a neck procedure for 4 days and could tell i was right back on the wrong path...go into the bathroom and flush them ....go....say your favorite prayer and go do it

[worried878]

So u were clean for 1 week and pretty much done with the worst of WDs,,,right?  2 pills will not make you have to start over on WDs...you may feel a bit anxious for a day or 2 but it will not make u have to totally start over...flush the dern things...and if you want to succeed, try very hard not to do this to yourself again....so now u took 2...u can go back to using and take the rest over the next few days or whatever and repeat WDs....or u can flush them and get out while the getting is good...u r not too far gone yet...