finacial ruin

[bama88]

Am i the only one who's ruined themselves financially?  how long does it take to recover your finances? i can't seem to make any headway on this subject....yesterday my new car was repoed because i was three months behind...so embarrassing. I've been trying to pick up payments but.....they came and got my car...i will have the money next wed. if they give me that long....i feel like something new bad keeps happening everyday...ugh. i have really made a mess of my life over oxies and roxies...i make too much money to be in this shape but....i was spending too much on the streets besides my own scripts....i can't seem to dig out of this hole!! Im still in h.e.l.l. everyday....now i feel like im being constantly reminded of my addiction because the bills bills bills.....it seems like no hope!!

Has anyone else lost things? I've pawned jewelry lost my car....and can't take anymore negative repercussions....i knew this was going to be hard. but didn't know how hard.  my parents won't help...never did or will...and my husbands family are broke.....i feel like i javelin nothing to look for forward to except more problems...

I can see why people relapse so easy...when life just keeps throwing you tomatoes and beating you down...its very hard not to give up....i keep telling myself there's worst things that could have happened but dang it....im getting wore out.


I've worked so hard for my stuff and now its getting worst....before when i was high i didn't care. im beginning not to care again....


I've kept it as honest as i can be with all of you. i am posting my story not for pity but for another person to see how bad addiction can get. i want knee person to read my story and realize where this thing will lead your life.  pills are not worth this. look at what a mess i made. ill never get out!!  days like yesterday are hard to stay clean
what more has to happen to me?   i need someone's advise who's done this to themselves to give me a smiggin of hope. because i am running out.

[rizboy]

iits a cheesy line but "time will heal your wounds" and show what you thought was important wasnt.i try to see possesions as things we borrow for a period of time and sometimes we have to let them go early.a house for example is never truely ours be we cant take it with us when we pass away.im starting out on the buddist path and the buddha said" do not dwell in the past,do not dream of the future,concentrate the mind on the present moment"

[ricart70]

I know what you are saying bama   stuff and things are just that but unless you live in downtown NYC or something a car is very important.I too snorted and ate a WHOLE car in the last year.My 01 accord won't last forever and I sure could use that 20 k   to get another one.I live in a semi rural area .  It will get better  bama just stick with it and I know thinking about all of this leaves an incredibly bad taste in your (also my) mouth.

[bama88]

and im glad we all came forward today....maybe someone who reads our posts and doesnt post will see their way thru this too. if i can help one person i will be happy. if one person who is lost jn addiction and follows my story and stops it will be worth all my time i spend on here. if it keeps me clean one more day...its worth all the time i spend on here... all i want is one clean day at a time. yes its material yes its just a car...but i bought that car myself...all by myself..i lost that car by myself...i will get that car back by myself....and im gonna keep that car sparkling clean...all by myself. if i wax the paint off who cares...

[bama88]

thanks for sharing...wow im glad im not alone. and no i didnt use....i have no car to score lol. so i just cleaned and then took a nice long nap. i havent slept very good because of my car...i always worried what happened happened..i will never ever ever again buy anymore blue pills. or any pills...ive used just about every drug from pot drinking and coke...never did acid or herion to scared. but all the rest ive done. and i cam honestly say pills is the worst addiction ever. i would have passed up a kilo of coke for 100 blue roxies...well let me think... i would have sold the coke to buy 10000 of blue roxies lol...but im finished. if you came to me and gave me the roxies id throw them in your face cuss you until a fly would not land on you and walk off...because i cant burn rubber out your driveway..

[atthebeach]

you have your sobriety, your peace of mind, you have your sanity again. you are healing, just like your recovery in your mind,body,soul and spirit take time to heal and mend so does your financial situation. my husband has been clean for two years. it seems we are always struggling and living pay check to pay check. we had to downsize to a very small house. i am much happier here than in my much larger home, because my husband, son and my daughter are now in recovery. it will get better, keep the faith, keep on keepin on.
hugs,hope and encouragment
debbie

[rizboy]

i dont think abouf the material things anymore there gone fuc#k it!ive got friends and family and me.thats all we need.let it go

[Addicted2long]

I have spent over 75,000 in 6 years. Maxed out 8 different credit cards for over 40k in debt. Took out a 10k loan from college that I used all on drugs. Pawned and sold everything that I had. Stole from many people and have used all the money I earned working on drugs. I am now stuck in a situation trying to pay it all back. Although I am not using its hard to be in this spot. I have 425$ minimums on some of my credit cards. My credit score is **** now and I am still buying back items from the pawn shop. I was spending 300-400$ a day on heroin. This total does not even include the 30k i spent on rehab. Or the thousands I spent on suboxone doctor and scripts. Im well over 100k total and im only 25! Scary to think about. Glad I got out before I was completely fooked. Dont think It could get much worse for me. Ur not alone! Well be paying back until we die. Miss u bama hope ur doing ok. Gimme a call soon. <3 A2L

[rizboy]

i lost my girlfriend,job,car and house and went bankrupt.but most of all i lost myself but now the old me is nrarly back i dont care about the other things its only stuff.

[LostNoMore]

Hi Bama. Yes, I too  have a mess to deal with financially. No, you're not alone, as you can see from the many posts above. I feel for you. What I tell myself is that using won't make it go away. Using will make it worse. I try not to look too far down the road. I know I can't get out of debt any time soon. Now that I'm not spending all my money on pills, I've been sending small amounts to my creditors. In some cases, not even enough to cover the interest. But that's all I can do right now. I'm doing the best that I can. For me, the answer is to accept it, and take whatever steps I can to pay my debts. The rest is up to God. We're here to support you. Keep posting.

[zoea]

As said above try making arrangements it will ease your mind. If just a little.
Reading the replies has been a real eye opener.
I've worked since 16 and now 36 and at this age i am in trouble.
My husband wants my statements to. And to be honest if i would not of read yours and all above i might of gotten into much worse than i am.
Yes its all material but still try to put in some arrangements .
It will all be fine. Bill by Bill. Day by day.
Lots of love and strength to u x
Zoe x

[IwillDoThis]

Hang in there girl, focus on one thing at a time and know you WILL get through this.  Sending you prayers and good thoughts - I read all your posts and feel so much for all that you have been going through,  I haven't really had any words of wisdom for you but know that I'm out here and I feel like i know you and I do care about you.  Keep up the hard work and just put one foot in front of the other and know good things will come your way.  Will be thinking of you!

[ready2bfree49]

I too have lost everything twice now !!!!  I guess the first time "didn't take" LOL  I have lost a nice house, boats, auto's & a husband the first time around ( and bankruptcy ) now the second time around ( and this is the last time come hell or high water!!!) I have the worst credit score I have ever had and I have spent about 40,000.00 $ at a methadone clinic....now, 7 years later I am getting off of it and I'm done!!!  so.....no you're not the only one :)

[Bkitty]

Yup,,its happened to me. I lost everything about 6 years ago 2 years after my addiction began. Money is tight now as well. I too make a lot but am catching up still. The best thing that worked for me was callling all my creditors and making payment arrangements,,even if it was 25$ month,,it showed I was trying and keeping my word that I will pay them. I would focus on one bill at a time,,,like a medical bill and work on them one at a time. I also took a personal inventory and and focused on my needs vs my wants. I love to shop and buy expensive purses and buy linen and victorias secret shampoo/ underwear,,etc. I also indulged buying things for myself. I had to cut that out,,,buy walmart underwear and replica purses and actually I just quit buying pointless crap and only bought what I needed. I didnt need another purse or more sheets,,,I always made excuses when Id but them,,,saying "I work hard,I deserve this 500$ purse" Well my $500 purse could give a crap about my other bills. LOL Make a budget and one bill at a time.

[WantMyLifeBack2010]

BAMA---"Pleasehelpme115" wrote what I feel as well.... and what she did reply ...yoy will find you are "not alone"..---- and we HAVE ALL lost so much with out addictions!!!
Whether it be OUR MATERIAL possessions, draining bank accounts, cash advances off our credit cards until that runs out,....jewelry sold to a pawn shop....

I too was making a great living in the Real Estate Industry ...ESPECIALLY back in 2005 & 2006 here in Florida.....I had saved so much from commisions  I even had my dream Car....my Mercedes---That was IN MY NAME--- I sgned  FOR IT.... NO ONE CO-SIGNED FOR ME...it was MY CREDIT...my HARD WORK that allowed me to do it all by myself.....Until I became an Addict and lost it ALL, car money...credit score...GONE!!!
On my Birthday in Dec of 2009 I watched my car go bye bye due to the inability to pay my car payments... my husband refused to help once he looked over my bank statement and saw ALL the ATM w/d's (all for PILLS my 3 doctors, and his most HATED...My dealer) She alone made over $10,000.000 dollars in 8 months...I paid for HER CAR PAYMENT - her bills her Botox her hotel stays in Tampa at the Hard Rock Cafe....but I wasnt or couldn't pay my own bills or car payment. BEEN THERE ....
So yes....Drop to your knees and give it all to God...Beg him to guide you, keep your strength up so you do not use, ask him for help, for the strength TO NOT allow the devil to use this pain you are feeling and experiencing as a portal to your weakness to USE ....
DO NOT ALLOW IT!! SAY IT OUT LOUD SCREAM into your friggin pillow whatever you have to do....
BAMA-----KNOW THIS---- WE ARE ALL PRAYING FOR YOU!!! PLEASE trust in his love for you, his love for all of us...he will give all of us the words to pray over you he will bring you out of this I promise...just remember...addicts want it NOW.....but recovering addicts have to learn to wait as it will Come!!!
Again "Pleasehelpme115" has it all correc:::::>>>>

@pleasehelpme115 wrote:
I promise prayer is what has carried most of us threw. But if u look on the bright side if u were still using u would NEVER see your car again because when next week comes u would spend the car money on pills so just remember you r very loved and blessed no matter how bad things seem to b using will make u feel good for ten minutes so its NOT worth throwing away everything u have worked so hard to get.

I promise you BAMA if you use then...........he wins for the time being!!! Dont give him that  evil  Son of a B!TCH the pleasure of taking away YOUR POWER!!!!!!!! you have it Bama you have US!! WE are NOT Giving up on you,.....

PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE PLEASE DONT USE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am praying for you for the rest of the day....all night,,,,we all are.........dont you think you're not LOVED and WORTHY of staying clean.......you're NOT alone Bama we are with you ....take time to be alone and FEEL US OUR PRAYERS....& you will feel the strength and the power of prayer......
WE are here for you praying for you & BELIEVING IN YOU!!!!!!!
Kim

[howlingshadow]

I know how you feel, I almost lost everything as well, Dr's Prescrips etc.. I was spending way to much and I know its going to take time to get back to normal. I had to double my house payments for the last three months and I am behind on car too, my next whole paycheck is going to that. Geesh, I was on the edge about to lose it all so I know how you feel.  I have been there before when I was not on drugs, just bad break up and I promise it will get better, try not to look at how hight the pile is, just concentrate on one piece, bill, paper at a time. Figure out what is most important, start there. It will get better.

[dominosarah]

Material things can be replaced, you cant be.  I hit complete financial ruins but i am climbing up slowly but surely.  I dont have a pot to pee in but i have me and with that i can achieve anything~~

[lulu747]

((BAMMA)))

I am re-iterating what the others have said...It's just stuff and you could have lost so much more.  I know that is small comfort right now and it all seems so overwhelming.  Remember that we can't change the past, only make the best choices we can in THIS moment.  Take deep breaths and focus on one small thing you can change at a time.  Like everything, time and patience and putting one foot in front of the other and NOT using.  If you keep working towards recovery, things have a way of sorting themselves out.  You are doing so much amazing work on yourself and you will be supported.  I'm so happy to hear that things with the hubby are going better.  It's about healing right now, and a lot of change.  You can do this girlie...I know you can.  Go easy on yourself...Beating yourself up is an exercise in futility...Take good loving care of yourself...
I am thinking of you and sending big cyber hugs...
Lu

[zoea]

I've never let my addiction effect my finances. I only used if i had spare cash.
But the past year I've used what I've not got. Im behind on mortgage not paid phone credit cards etc. I am scared think that's why i used after 7 days yesterday. Could not deal.
Well problems still here now just some more money down. Once again. Maybe i should of made calls to set up arrangements.
But can't run away anymore. Tom morn Im making calls make things better.
Another reminder of addiction and how much its not worth it.
Be strong
Zoe

[bmdad]

It will take time but your finances will recover. Like you said, it could be worse and will get worse if you go back to using. You said that at least your house is paid off. You know what? Even though it's paid off you could've lost that too. You paid your property taxes so that's a good thing. A county has the authority to put a lien on a property if they aren't paid each year. You could've overdosed. Your life is way more important than an inanimate object and that's what that car is. If for some reason you can't get your car back you know what? Eventually things will straighten out and you can get back what you have lost.

Considering all of the equity you have in your home is it possible to take out a home equity loan? That would allow you to converge everything into one monthly payment and allow you to get back on track financially.

Hang in there Bama. Things have a way of working themselves out and everything will work out. Okay?

[bama88]

No we never thought about that!! just didn't pay the bills correctly. again yesterday showed me what i did!! well what we both did. my husband was not happy...but didn't scream or blame or accuse....he just said i hope you(we) see the lesson to learn....I've never lost anything before these stupid pills....even when he was in the accident we never ever had such financial stress. we blew through all our savings....i feel like km starting over. and its different starting over at 41 than 25 lol...when i think of all the money we spent i could have paid my car off in two to three years..

pills gives such a false reality. make us do things we would never ever do before we became addicted. I've never lost things before this last year when i spiraled out of control...

It amazes me how fast one can loose their footing. im so angry at myself for putting myself and family thru this.

How long does it take to forgive yourself?  im trying to stay

[dac70]

Breathe... everything will work out and u r right... u could be dead and that would be sooooo much worse!!! Start looking for small ray of sunshine. Look at all the people on here that u hv. Helped. There are too many to count!!! Everything happens for a reason and maybe this was Ur BIG wake up call!!! Stay strong!! Do not use!! U are such a blessing to so many. Now let us all be there for u... but got now...BREATHE, GATHER UR THOUGHTS, & SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR THE THINGS U DO HAVE. Your life, a job, Ur house, Ur husband, his job, friends on here that truely care no matter what u do... the list goes on. Pull on the strength u got from the GREAT day u had Sunday!! I'm here and in not going anywhere!!!

[ANewLife4Me]

You have to hang in there, eventually it will get better.  I lost everything - two cars, a house, all of my jewelry, cameras, computer equipment - it goes on and on and on - basically anything of value!  It took some time and I'm still not in great shape financially, but it is much better now.  I'd rather not be in active addiction and struggling than be taking pills and struggling.  Thankfully it doesn't sound like you took out a loan against your house that's already paid for :)

[bama88]

Thanks ricart....i have no plans on using.... this was the straw that broke the camels back!! to think i lost my car over pills was another punch in the fAce!! i mean it. i never thought id ever get this broke!! i just wish this would end and i could find the stability i need so desperately  need. I feel like i have a constant reminder of the damage I've done. i feel like im stuck in a deep well without a ladder. i can't get out!!

[ricart70]

sorry you are in this situation.It does take a little while to get the finances back to normal for those of us who did not get our pills for free.
With earning power of 100k you will get it straightened out soon.Just stay clean no matter what and with time you will handle any and all of these issues alot better.  hang in there and don't use ok