Day 8,but ...

[sadinmichigan]

is it possible by just knowing these pills are in my reach right now cause me to have (mental) the feeling of the physical aspects of withdrawal? Or am i crazy?! I am still plugging away but right now I am really not feeling good. Has anyone had that type of feeling when you know it's in your own house? This is making me very sad.

[sadinmichigan]

THANKYOU   xo lisa

[Flutterby111]

It works if you work it!!!! I haven't heard that in so long......I used to go to meetings... Sadin mich, not a bad idea.  I'm going tomorrow night with my bro in law (hopefully)....that is the plan!  Everyone is so welcoming.  Rest well.

[sadinmichigan]

sounds good. i'll talk to you later..gonna try and sleep again. xo

[toxictome]

Got yur PM...I must be braindead..i did see some of your posts earlier.....you are doing just fine...this is the way it works...

and when this part is done...then... it "works if you work it"!!!!

You're talking about that you ar  afraid of relapsing...have you checked out any NA mtgs yet?? You might find those to be VERY beneficial to you right now....and if you have  lot of free time on your hands...that  might be a good thing ...just a suggestion!!!

You are allowed to be wired like my pole...just don't overload and BURN out!!!  LOL

Yake care my friend...keepposting!!

I'm off to the HOT bath...yeehaw!!!

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou mike. i know what your saying. I have felt the "magic' too. Sometimes i couldn't get them in my mouth fast enough. but when they were running low..oh the panic!!!!  The magic wore off along time ago. i just out another sign up reminding me that i would have already taken @ 80 pills in the "going on 10 days" by now. man that put a new perspective on that for me. i am not going to lie and say the temptation isn't there and i pray i will not fall prey to it. i know from past attempts from quitting smoking to the few attempts at these f'ing pills that i can't get too comfortable or cocky about it. i could easily fail. i pray constantly! (i only have 18 or more hours a day awake to think) i don't want to let myself down and you know...I really care about all of you and i don't want to let you all down either! Whatever keeps me going. i will say..i am very afraid of relapsing. i am not out of the woods yet. I have some cravings about 3 x's a day. i usually have to jam my music and reread my posts and responses to get through it. It's working so far but...i am afraid, what will the last straw be and i say screw it and take 1.thats why i stay on here as much as i can. thanks again mikefromthesouth. xo

[Mikeinthesouth]

That feeling I know well. The gut just sort of calms down when I am waiting for something and I just get it. Even before it kicks in I am calming down just knowing it is gonna work its " Magic" in me so called magic. You are doing so good for holding out and not caving in and using. Hang in there.

[confused456]

I am soooooo happy you finally got some sleep!!!!!! Great news for you!! Whooo-hoooooo!!

[sadinmichigan]

im a hangin'. i finally slep 3 1/2 hrs WHOOOHOOOO. You hang in there too! you almost there..I mean nothing worth while is easy and it doesn't miraculously change on day 5 but you should start feeling better from day 4 and a little more everyday now!!  I truly believe i would be fabulous by now..but that was a big mental set back for me..and it became physical. i caught my self even to try to come up with a good reason to just have 1.The mental part is everything! i literally have huge signs around my house,on my bedroom mirror,bathroom etc...simply saying..You can do this..and other things that help me. I believe in God, which means i believe in satan..so i also have a huge sign that says..satan wants you to FAIL and he's laughing at you!  it may sound crazy to others...but whatever works..right?keep on here. isn't it crazy..just to take a shower and feel like you really did something? LOL (yeah and the stench starts getting to you LMAO)So many people are pulling for all of us!!

[melly33]

you hang in there! I am in day 3 and I know if there was something in the house I would be freaking to. I did sleep but I have ativan. My legs were shaking so bad last night and I am crying all of the time, but this morning I made my self get up and take a shower (man did I stink!) and get dressed and now I am sitting in the living room completely without energy. I took my vitamins and now I am drinking an energy drink. I am still counting to 20 when the urge to swallow a pill comes on and I am doing that a lot. You are a strong person to be able to do this knowing your hubby has them. My best friend has them and I moved 3 hours away from her to get rid of the temptation cause I knew on the 3rd day she would say oh just take one it won't hurt and I would because right now I am that weak. You hang in there.

[sadinmichigan]

I did last night. Maybe I didn't take enough. I will try it again. Sorry it took so long to answer. i was just writing a novel to katy about methadone. You have a friend on it too right? please read what i wrote. i get so worked up about it..now i really am wide awake.how are you doing? I hope good. I have just started reading some of you entrys. Your kids have a good daddy! none of us are perfect..right? I constantly have to think about my kids to get through this. thanks for writing me...hugs to you.

[newmanagment]

hey sad, have ya tried melatonin for sleep help?

[sadinmichigan]

man oh man OH MAN!! Up again!! I actually was tired at midnight and was certain i would sleep alot longer than 3 hrs! Bad enough I woke up twice during that. AARGHHHH. Why can we not sleep? What is the deal with that. I have tried everything besides having someone knock me out cold.LOL I seriously have tried,and you'd think...being up since 1 am yesterday would have helped ..and the night before that etc....I had a nightmare ...my whole mouth was filled with broken pills and the jagged edges were cutting my throat!! I woke up in a sweat. I have noticed that when I do sleep I have some real wicked dreams. Very disturbing, so I don't think thats helping me .(except that one with Kurt Russel)(smile).Anyway,let the INSANITY begin!!WHOOOHOOOO going to be starting day 9. and still thinking about those @#&*@! pills. I know its still early in the game. I hate giving them thought.they certainly don't DESERVE any more of ME!! And to toxic....I AM wired like that pole!!!HAHA

[worried878]

U r not only recovering but reaching out to others...awesome!

[toxictome]

Glad you're still hanging in there sad.....keep working it!!!!  ~HUGS~

[confused456]

Hopin u know we feel the same right back at ya!!

[sadinmichigan]

Gosh...I just love you all. I'm a little bit teary at the moment. Thankyou. God Bless you.

[Shotrock]

Day 7 here. Last Sat night at Height of my WDS I find 8 pills, never ever thought of taking 1, when we're ready,  we're ready..   Keep up the good work you sound amazing.

[mimi1313]

Oh my gosh, how on earth do you manage? You have such a hectic life. You are very strong and I'm glad you talked to your husband. At least now you won't be tempted. You guys will work things out. Hopefully he'll see that he needs to stop. But please take care of YOU. Good luck and stay strong. You can do this.

[sadinmichigan]

yes i am still clean on day8. I am having many mental issues.LOL anyway, i do have the temptation .I was able to talk to my husband (mr mustard) haha and he cried. I really freaked out on him and he broke down and said he was so sorry, BUT he will have them until he decides to want to be done.(he isn't really taking them for a good reason at this time).he says he will keep them locked up at work. I honestly haven't looked for them or anything..it's just KNOWING that is making me crazy. i know it's mind games but I know alot of things and this is making me scared. I don't want to hate him,(that seems to be my reaction) although there are other things to that. I really love all of you. This is helping me more than i can say. i don't expect a miracle but it's close. i had a much bigger and longer problem with drugs than my husband. All my life since early teens. smoking,drinking,coke,lsd,etc..I gave up ALL the hard drugs at 19. I had my first kid at 17 and almost lost her when i was 19 because of it. And to Confused...heck no i'm not forgetting you.I miss you too. i actually am babysitting 3 more kids this week until tuesday,with not alot of sleep. i will talk to you hopefully later. xo And to House1 i live in Northern Macomb county(near lake St.Clair). Thankyou my friends.

[mommy52713]

flush them trust me if they are there you will injest if ou really want this let them go............. you can do this i will pray for you stay strong    holly♥

[cathy5841]

i would say that you definately gonna have more of a mind battle if they are present.  i had none around and my mind could not play tricks with it...i would just tell myself i dont have any....you cant do that so your mind is trying to convince you to use...battlefield of the mind....dont do this to yourself...day 8 is hard enough when you cant get any. lol
keep going and dont stumble now....you are gonna make it.
prayers
cathy

[confused456]

I am missing you! Where the heck are you? Better not be forgetting me....LOL

[toxictome]

ON day 8 i still had physical symptoms come and go...and i didn't even have any pills in the house...so that is normal...hang in there, girl...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE!!!!...not Mr Mustard's pills...LOL..
(I know that made you smile..)....hehe

[swtbreezie]

YES we all have it when it is available, get rid of that stuff so you wont have the temptation.  Hugzzzzzz you are doing GREAT on 8 days!  STAY STRONG.  Keep posting and reading.
swtbreezie