Day 8,but ...

[sadinmichigan]

is it possible by just knowing these pills are in my reach right now cause me to have (mental) the feeling of the physical aspects of withdrawal? Or am i crazy?! I am still plugging away but right now I am really not feeling good. Has anyone had that type of feeling when you know it's in your own house? This is making me very sad.

[opi]

ummmm...i'd say yes ...for sure,,,oh yeah...damn  straight,,,doh!...,having them there could cause symtoms to worsen....i remember when i'd score(first of the day)...once they were in my pocket i would feel the day 1 wd,,,,i'd get gaggy and stuff,,,flashes blah blah,,,,the brain would turn up the heat just to speed up my fix,,,,,,,this was my experince,,,,also about the same day as you are at,,,some pills came into the house..i was allready feeling prety crappy but as soon as i knew the pezz was in my house again my brain turned up the heat and it was like day 3-4 again.....it's is all messed up but it is the way it is so if you can get rid of them you will feel the real day 8,,,,by getting rid of them i don't mean doing them............let the brain games begin! yeeehaaaa,,,,,i play it dailly...it's like chess....just gota stay a step ahead and block when you see it commin

[sadinmichigan]

thanks for writin' me. I definately am feeling like im back on day3! All the stuff you said is right on.(thank god i'm not totally insane yet)LOL. i really wish i could get rid of them,but..my husband went and got his refill after he was already on day3. i know he has to work and **** but it is making it very hard for me.Really hard!! damn. he has a problem with them too but I can't make him quit. i know he's got to when he's ready. I know he wants to,but has no plans as of yet to do it. it makes me really mad. These things have already ruined alot of our relationship...and to top it off I had 2 refills left when i stopped. so..not picking them up next week will be another test. this just sucks!! how long has it been for you? Are you feeling better. anyway..thanks again i really appreciate it.

[troubleinohio]

yes i think it makes the symptoms worse..i remember more than once when i was in the throes of the worst WD symptoms, i was trying to score more pills..i was standing there talkiing to the guy asking him if he had any "spares" and when he said yes, i remember the pain in  my legs getting even worse and my whole body was just whirling with electricity or something, I could barely walk into his garage to get the pills, the few seconds it took couldnt go by fast enough so i could get some pills in my mouth. it was awful to feel so powerless like that. At that point in my life, I bet i would have followed him off a cliff just to get a few pills down my gullet. I am so glad I am way past that part of my disease. I relapsed several times before making it as far as I am now.. never thought Id make it either but I did, thank God.   WIshing you the best of luck and strength. Im not sure how you can deal with it since your husband uses them still...cant he lock them up somewhere else outside the house or anything?

[sadinmichigan]

yeah, he locks them in his tool box at work, but always has some on him. He actually tried giving me a few when he first got his script a few days ago. I was very very mad,but threw them at him. I guess it's just the knowing. Like I told opi,at least i'm not totaly insane. I really do feel worse than i did 2 days ago. Thankyou for writing. I have relapsed too but I am hoping this is the real deal. I want it to be done with really bad.

[worried878]

glad i did not have that...you must be really strong...you have done so great..hang in there

[house1]

Does day 8 mean you have been clean for eight days?
and the other part of your post but your gripping onto a hand full of pills at the same time?

[house1]

what part of michigan are you sad in?

[swtbreezie]

YES we all have it when it is available, get rid of that stuff so you wont have the temptation.  Hugzzzzzz you are doing GREAT on 8 days!  STAY STRONG.  Keep posting and reading.
swtbreezie

[toxictome]

ON day 8 i still had physical symptoms come and go...and i didn't even have any pills in the house...so that is normal...hang in there, girl...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE!!!!...not Mr Mustard's pills...LOL..
(I know that made you smile..)....hehe

[confused456]

I am missing you! Where the heck are you? Better not be forgetting me....LOL

[cathy5841]

i would say that you definately gonna have more of a mind battle if they are present.  i had none around and my mind could not play tricks with it...i would just tell myself i dont have any....you cant do that so your mind is trying to convince you to use...battlefield of the mind....dont do this to yourself...day 8 is hard enough when you cant get any. lol
keep going and dont stumble now....you are gonna make it.
prayers
cathy

[mommy52713]

flush them trust me if they are there you will injest if ou really want this let them go............. you can do this i will pray for you stay strong    holly♥

[sadinmichigan]

yes i am still clean on day8. I am having many mental issues.LOL anyway, i do have the temptation .I was able to talk to my husband (mr mustard) haha and he cried. I really freaked out on him and he broke down and said he was so sorry, BUT he will have them until he decides to want to be done.(he isn't really taking them for a good reason at this time).he says he will keep them locked up at work. I honestly haven't looked for them or anything..it's just KNOWING that is making me crazy. i know it's mind games but I know alot of things and this is making me scared. I don't want to hate him,(that seems to be my reaction) although there are other things to that. I really love all of you. This is helping me more than i can say. i don't expect a miracle but it's close. i had a much bigger and longer problem with drugs than my husband. All my life since early teens. smoking,drinking,coke,lsd,etc..I gave up ALL the hard drugs at 19. I had my first kid at 17 and almost lost her when i was 19 because of it. And to Confused...heck no i'm not forgetting you.I miss you too. i actually am babysitting 3 more kids this week until tuesday,with not alot of sleep. i will talk to you hopefully later. xo And to House1 i live in Northern Macomb county(near lake St.Clair). Thankyou my friends.

[mimi1313]

Oh my gosh, how on earth do you manage? You have such a hectic life. You are very strong and I'm glad you talked to your husband. At least now you won't be tempted. You guys will work things out. Hopefully he'll see that he needs to stop. But please take care of YOU. Good luck and stay strong. You can do this.

[Shotrock]

Day 7 here. Last Sat night at Height of my WDS I find 8 pills, never ever thought of taking 1, when we're ready,  we're ready..   Keep up the good work you sound amazing.

[sadinmichigan]

Gosh...I just love you all. I'm a little bit teary at the moment. Thankyou. God Bless you.

[confused456]

Hopin u know we feel the same right back at ya!!

[toxictome]

Glad you're still hanging in there sad.....keep working it!!!!  ~HUGS~

[worried878]

U r not only recovering but reaching out to others...awesome!

[sadinmichigan]

man oh man OH MAN!! Up again!! I actually was tired at midnight and was certain i would sleep alot longer than 3 hrs! Bad enough I woke up twice during that. AARGHHHH. Why can we not sleep? What is the deal with that. I have tried everything besides having someone knock me out cold.LOL I seriously have tried,and you'd think...being up since 1 am yesterday would have helped ..and the night before that etc....I had a nightmare ...my whole mouth was filled with broken pills and the jagged edges were cutting my throat!! I woke up in a sweat. I have noticed that when I do sleep I have some real wicked dreams. Very disturbing, so I don't think thats helping me .(except that one with Kurt Russel)(smile).Anyway,let the INSANITY begin!!WHOOOHOOOO going to be starting day 9. and still thinking about those @#&*@! pills. I know its still early in the game. I hate giving them thought.they certainly don't DESERVE any more of ME!! And to toxic....I AM wired like that pole!!!HAHA

[newmanagment]

hey sad, have ya tried melatonin for sleep help?

[sadinmichigan]

I did last night. Maybe I didn't take enough. I will try it again. Sorry it took so long to answer. i was just writing a novel to katy about methadone. You have a friend on it too right? please read what i wrote. i get so worked up about it..now i really am wide awake.how are you doing? I hope good. I have just started reading some of you entrys. Your kids have a good daddy! none of us are perfect..right? I constantly have to think about my kids to get through this. thanks for writing me...hugs to you.

[melly33]

you hang in there! I am in day 3 and I know if there was something in the house I would be freaking to. I did sleep but I have ativan. My legs were shaking so bad last night and I am crying all of the time, but this morning I made my self get up and take a shower (man did I stink!) and get dressed and now I am sitting in the living room completely without energy. I took my vitamins and now I am drinking an energy drink. I am still counting to 20 when the urge to swallow a pill comes on and I am doing that a lot. You are a strong person to be able to do this knowing your hubby has them. My best friend has them and I moved 3 hours away from her to get rid of the temptation cause I knew on the 3rd day she would say oh just take one it won't hurt and I would because right now I am that weak. You hang in there.

[sadinmichigan]

im a hangin'. i finally slep 3 1/2 hrs WHOOOHOOOO. You hang in there too! you almost there..I mean nothing worth while is easy and it doesn't miraculously change on day 5 but you should start feeling better from day 4 and a little more everyday now!!  I truly believe i would be fabulous by now..but that was a big mental set back for me..and it became physical. i caught my self even to try to come up with a good reason to just have 1.The mental part is everything! i literally have huge signs around my house,on my bedroom mirror,bathroom etc...simply saying..You can do this..and other things that help me. I believe in God, which means i believe in satan..so i also have a huge sign that says..satan wants you to FAIL and he's laughing at you!  it may sound crazy to others...but whatever works..right?keep on here. isn't it crazy..just to take a shower and feel like you really did something? LOL (yeah and the stench starts getting to you LMAO)So many people are pulling for all of us!!