What do you think?

[justice4me]

I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder in December of 2008. I was hospitalized 3 times in a short period of time for manic/deppressive problems. Since which I have been stabilized and the bout of problems I was enduring during my time of depression was due to me having problems with my now husband, running my own business, being overwhelmed by family problems, school which I was attending full time and trying to juggle so much. I am a 34 year old woman and have never in my life had any problems with depression. I have been on meds Depakote and Risperdale but as of 4 months ago weaned myself off my Depakote and now I want to try and get off the Risperdal Consta. I want to try to live life without the meds again. I feel them throwing me on medication has done more harm than good. I have gained weight and do not feel as energetic and happy as I did before meds. Is there even a chance of hope that I experienced a nervous break down and they have misdiagnosed me with this mental illness. Please anyone have answers? I just think that they are wrong in their diagnosis of my condition and want to try life without the meds again. I want to be the way I was not medicated!

[hell1971]

Reading your post is so similar to my previous posts its not even funny. I too was convinced that I had had a nervous breakdown even though looking back I had always been an up and down type of person and maybe a little quirky sometimes, I did not want to beleive there had been something wrong with me all my life, it was like my life had been a lie, all those hypomanic times especially were times that made me who I was, I felt like I had lost my identity, I did not want to accept I had bipolar, when I started to feel better I too wanted to come off meds, I felt I had gone 37 years unmedicated why do I need to be on meds for the rest of my life, I wanted to go back to the old me. Everyone on here advised me against it, I ignored them, my doctor supported me, he knew I would need to go back on them but he agreed to wean me off very slowly, I didnt even get halfway through when I plumeted into the worst depression I have ever experienced, all my other depressions have been more like being overwhelmed than depressed, this was different, I didnt care about anything anymore, I didnt want to be here, I just stayed in bed every chance I had, I had felt like this once before when I had a miscarriage 10 years ago.
Of course I am back on more meds but it wasnt an easy fix, I developed a panic disorder once I started to get better and I am only now getting over this and starting to feel balanced again.

Take advise from your doctor and dont do anything alone and learn from our mistakes, the advise you get on here is great and usually very sound. take care

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I would say stay on the meds, discontinuing them, especially on your own, can be dangerous for you due to withdrawal syndrome if you quit on your own or rebound psychiatric symptoms either way.

[ILADVOCATE]

The best thing to do is speak to your psychiatrist and ask what medications might be of help as if you discontinue the medications whatever they are treating will return and also there should be some other medications that would be of help. Speak to your psychiatrist about available options. this is a list:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/moodstabilizers.htm

[dame_wilbur]

A lot of people, when medicated properly for the first time, feel like it's wrong, because they miss the manic high. I know that I did. I hated being on meds, as I didn't feel happy like I used to. But now that I've been on my meds for a long time, I can tell when I get manic because it's an *unstable* happy, instead of a more steady contentment.

I would say continue taking your meds, and then see if you start to adjust to having a normal brain chemistry pattern. It's also VERY tempting to stop taking your meds when you feel good, (aka slightly manic) and then go unstable and go depressive and try to kill yourself again or something. Feeling better does NOT mean that you're cured.

keep us posted,

~Dame