I was always kinda fat. I've been training gymnastics for 9 years and I always had muscled body. Then I wanted to look "sexy" for guys so I gained even more weight so they could "touch something". I'm still embarrassed of that and I'm really sorry.
I was rarely wearing shorts this summer and one day my own dad called me "fat" (I was 5 feet 4 inches tall and had 128 pounds). He said my legs are fat and that I shouldn't wear shorts. Judges never touched me but this really hurt. That summer I lost some pounds and always had in my head "Maya, lose more, you're fat". And then I started losing my body fat (or I guess). I still have the same height, but now I weigh 110 pounds. I've lost these 18 pounds really quick from the summer (I had this weight in already like October) and I'm not losing it anymore... But my body started changing a lot... My legs got skinnier, my face got skinnier, as I said my bones are really visible, my arms got skinnier and such.
When I sit everything hurts me, even when I lay down. I'm usually sleeping too much (idk if that's connected with eating disorders...). I'm getting tired of everything, I even just fall down sometimes.
I mean... I'm losing my body fat but I don't lose weight...? Is this normal?
But my apetite for the food didn't change. I still want to eat although I usually try not to or just smoke a cigarette. I even made myself vomit few times.
Is this connected to the eating disorder or something?
It is seen in few people that they overeat to combat stress. Eating a lot and satisfying their food cravings gives them satisfaction. Indulging in vomiting can lead to nutritional deficiencies and many other serious consequences. Do incorporate healthy food habits and avoid overeating. Include green leafy vegetables, fruits, soups and salads which will help in preventing weight gain. Exercise daily or go for a brisk walk daily for 20-30 minutes. I will advise you to consult a psychologist or a counsellor.It may be possible that you are losing fat and not muscle mass so weight loss is not evident. As you said you have become too skinny I will advise you to see a doctor and get evaluated.Tiredness, fatigue can be due to several causes like improper diet, diabetes mellitus, anemia or thyroid disorders. You definitely need to be checked.
Best wishes and regards!
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