Do you think I have an eating disorder?

I think I have an eating disorder, although my mum thinks I have depression. The reasons I think I have something wrong with me are:
I have binged and purged
I've thrown up after eating, I've done it quite few times, like maybe 20 times within the past 10 months...
I've gone a day without eating
A lot of the time, when I eat, I panic, because I don't want anything inside me, I want to be completely empty
I don't want to eat anything at all, but I do anyway, even though in my head I'm screaming at myself to stop
I count every calorie I eat
I usually have less than 1000 calories per day, but I consider it to be too much
Other times I'll have 1000-4000 calories in a day
I usually feel very depressed, but I feel much happier when I avoid eating or lose weight
I cut myself, hit myself, suffocate myself
I consider myself to be fat, ugly, worthless, and I don't deserve to be alive
I constantly think about death and suicide, and come up with plans to kill myself that I unfortunately never carry out
I used to do about a half hour to an hour of exercise per day, but now moving seems like too much effort
I can't sleep at night, it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep, and I wake up randomly at 4am/5am
I worry about everything. I very often worry that anyone/everyone is going to die
I often tell myself I would be much happier dead

Okay, so do you think I have an eating disorder, if so which one, or might I have depression, or what? And do I need help? Please answer. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[BeeFree]

Hey there,

Well, depression sounds more like the root of your unhealthy eating habits, as it is for most who suffer from these disorders. It sounds like you are experimenting with several ways to cope or gain some sense of control. Obviously you know how harmful bingeing, purging and starving and any other sel-destructive habits can be, and you know that something needs to be done. My advice would be to really take the time to get to know yourself. Trust me, you are definitely here for a reason. You only see yourself "worthless" because you don't know what that is yet. What do you like to do? What kind of person do you want to be? You've got a world of a playground and can do whatever you want in it. I know how hard it is to keep your head above water so when you find yourself in that dark state of mind and you can't get out, try some of the things I do:
-Get out of the house. You don't have to be around friends, just be around people. Notice how no one else is perfect either. They have their own set of challenges as well, no matter how "effortless" it my seem on the outside
-Write out what you love. Who you love. Favourite past times. Things that make you happy, small or big. If there were no limits, what kind of life can you picture yourself living? What are you doing for work? Do you have a family? What kind of house do you live in? Visualize what you want and watch how easily it comes to you.
-Help others. Do something nice for someone. Send an old friend an email. Check out the boards on this forum and share what you've learned with someone who could use your guidance.
-Be good to yourself! Treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend. Feed your body with foods it thrives on. Watch funny movies or do things that makes you laugh. Get lost in your favourite songs. And no matter how tired you feel, put on those runners and get moving! Doesn't have to be long. You will feel so much better.
Keep us posted! We're here for you!