Unsure about herpes

I was wondering if you guys could help me or if anyone's been in a similar situation. I lost my virginity about 4 years ago and a week later I had really painful sores on my vagina and in my mouth. They had the appearance of ulcers and it was really painful to pee or brush my teeth. I went to the doctors and she had a look and asked me what I thought it was, I said I thought it could be herpes based on reading about it online and she said it was but didn't actually test me. She prescribed me some Aciclovir and after a week or so it went away. I thought this was strange because my partner had only ever slept with virgins before and had never had any symptoms or cold sores but he does suffer with mouth ulcers. Nothing happened after that until last month when I had sex with the same person and a day afterwards I got a cold sore and my vagina was sore but that usually happens to me after sex and I get thrush like symptoms so I didn't worry about it. I went to the doctors a few weeks later because it wasn't clearing up and they gave me thrush medication which didn't help. I went to the GUM clinic and she asked if I'd had any STDs before and I said I was once told I had herpes, she then examined me and told me the herpes had come back and took a swab. She said the swab would probably come back negative because the sores had already started to heal but that didn't mean I didn't have it. She showed me the sores but I honestly couldn't see anything there like what I had before, it just looked a little bit red. She started giving me pain killers and things but I wasn't in any real pain and there hadn't been a stage where I'd been in a lot of pain or discomfort. The main problem was I felt a bit sore like a friction burn and I had some white discharge. She told me that I definitely didn't have thrush and gave me the Aciclovir again. I took the 5 day course of tablets but it didn't help. I then had sex with the same person again and afterwards my vagina was really red and swollen and I had a thick white lumpy discharge. It hurt to sit down and was really itchy, I couldn't even wear underwear. I went to a different GUM clinic and they said I had no sign whatsoever of herpes or thrush and tested me for bacterial vaginosis which I also didn't have. The doctor said it could have been caused by the pill or tampons and told me to go home and have a salt wash. I then received a call from the original GUM clinic telling me I'd tested negative for all STDs including herpes but positive for thrush which I found weird because the doctor said I definitely didn't have it. She said that apparently the sores were healing so they knew the test would come back negative and I told her I couldn't see any and wasn't in any real pain and she said they might have been caused by me itching the thrush and breaking the skin. This left me really confused because apart from a doctor looking without testing I've never had any confirmation. My vagina is still sore around the bottom of my vaginal opening and I have a bit of white discharge. I went to a different doctor and she said she couldn't see any sign of herpes either and doubts I've ever had it, and it's just recurring thrush but we'll never know for sure. I asked her if I could have a blood test and she said she isn't sure they do that or how helpful it would be. She said the only way we'll know is if the symptoms come back, but that could be years or even never. This has really shaken me up because now I'm not sure how to deal with future relationships or sexual partners. I don't really want to have a serious conversation about it when I'm not sure if I even have it or not. Is there anything else it could have been? I can't find any other cases where the sores appeared in the mouth and on the vagina.

[gracefromHHP]

your initial symptoms sound like hsv orally and genitally. It's unfortunate that you didn't have a lesion culture done at that time so that now you'd know what you had and what type you had :(  

You won't be able to get a type specific herpes igg blood test through the GUM clinics but you can get them if you pay out of pocket from a private provider. At this point it's going to be helpful for you to get the herpes test to see what your hsv1 and hsv2 status is.  odds are since you get cold sores now that you contracted hsv1 both orally and genitally 4 years ago.  

at this point, avoid sex until everything is back to normal down yonder. Treat for thrush and since this has been ongoing for a few weeks now, wait 2-3 weeks after treating and return to be retested again for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally again to make sure it has all cleared up.

grace