13th day of the month.. Drug trial Decision :((((

[Sparkysarah]

For those who have been following my progress for the screening of the drug trial.....I should ahve been wary going for the decision on f the 13th day of the months.

I found out today that I have not been accepted. I initially felt gutted but have processed my experience and thoughts in detail in my journal and you can find out what happened there. I shed a few tears as my Consultant was so understanding and apologetic and basically the problem is that I have had a mild relapse and my skin needs to be checked by a dermatologist...so I may be able to still go on the trial again if skin is OK..but would have to go right back to the beginning and be symptom free for 30 days.

Don't feel like writing anymore now and need some time to process what has happened today.

Still hanging in there, but not quite as cheerful as usual.

Love Sarah xxx

[Sparkysarah]

Thank you all for your very thougthful and empathic words. I was not really prepared for what I faced yesterday as I was very confident of getting on the study, but just fell at the last post.  I am allowing myself to feel and understand what this loss means to me at the moment and as I said in my journal..it is the loss of the amazing medical support I have been receiving that hits hardest at present, and the opportunity to take a drug that just may make a difference to my future.

So after an Ok night's sleep I feel better and am resolved to try and be patient and I want to try again for this trial. My Consultant thinks it is the best way forward for me, although it is my choice and I now just have to wait and hope that things fall into place.
It feels a bit like I have slipped back into limboland and a sharp reminder of what this uncertainty and frustration feels like...so hugs to you all and many thanks.

[Sarahsmom46]

Oh Sarah, I am so sorry like everyone else here.  I thought for sure you'd get in, but didn't realize how stringent the rules are. I should though as I'm in a study.

It's ok to be sad for awhile. Thenm do what you need to do to get the skin problem taken care of and be as symptom-free as possible then give it another go.

Love and hugs,

Julie

[rendean]

Sarah,

I am so sorry that you are temporarily out of the trial!  It's awful to have your expectations dashed when you are really counting on something.

I read your journal and on paper you seem to have processed it well but I know in your heart you are still disappointed. I'm sure you will bounce back and I will send good thoughts your way that the dermatology appointment turns out well.

Hugs,
Ren

[twist330]

Sorry this hasn't worked out for you. I know how it feels when you build yourself up for something then it all falls apart.

Thinking of you.

[Lulu54]

we all could sense how much you were anticipating being a part of this important work.  I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you right now, but please remember that your health comes first.

These researchers cannot take subjects who have other complications or whose personal situation can compromise the results of the study.  These trials have to be extremely  rigid in their criteria, as I know you already understand.

Again, thanks for wanting to do this study.  Perhaps in a month your situation will change but in the meantime, keep your head up!

hugs, Lulu