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Swift Progression linked to Anxiety
I had my neuro appointment last week to figure out why I had such a fast progression.
I rolled in there with my wheelchair expecting to hear I had ALS or some kind of awful illness.
My neuro examined me as usual and then sat me down.
He ever so gently told me that although he thinks I MS, he is pretty sure that my swift progression is psychosomatic.
My reaction was tears. I cried because I knew deep down that he was probably right.
He wasn't saying that there is nothing going on, but he was saying that all most of my mobility issues were due to fear and anxiety. As some of you may recall, this is not the first time I had heard this.He said if it is not MS, he is still concerned with all the "spots" on my brain MRI.
He said I could be one of those people with a rare neurological disorder that they don't normally see.
I think he was just trying to make me feel like I wasn't a nut job! He's very caring.
He is having me get a second opinion from the MS neuro in the practice.
Upon leaving his office I proceeded to feel really sorry for myself.
After that, I decided to get out of that damn wheelchair and start walking.
None to my surprise I can walk.
Now I am not walking like a "normal" person, but I can get around to living.
A few days later I saw my psychiatrist, who had already spoken to my neuro, and he said I did not have conversion disorder, but I did have much anxiety. We left off agreeing that I should take daily "walks."
Next week I will see a psychologist and finally start dealing with this anxiety.
It is something I can no longer ignore.
Today I saw a chiropractor who lives on my street wouldn't you know.
He said that he could see why my legs were initially having difficulty.
My spine is all jammed up. I am also going to get acupuncture to help deal with the anxiety issues.
I see him again on Monday.
Next week I see the other neuro and if he says he doesn't think I have MS, I am going to stop looking.
I am not hoping I have MS as this year has been hell for my family.
I do know for sure that if it is indeed MS, it is not going to kill me anytime soon and I am very capable of functioning normally most days.
I want to thank all of you on the forum who have followed me this last year.
It has been very enlightening. But the thing I like the most about this forum is that no one will be dis honest.
There have been many times that I have been "called out" on my posts and it has made me be honest with myself and really discover the root of my issues.
So far I have figured out I have had one AWFUL childhood.
I don't think I ever had the guts to admit but there it is.
Maybe I should make a stop at the mental health forum.
Can't hurt!
Keep looking up!
Kerri
I rolled in there with my wheelchair expecting to hear I had ALS or some kind of awful illness.
My neuro examined me as usual and then sat me down.
He ever so gently told me that although he thinks I MS, he is pretty sure that my swift progression is psychosomatic.
My reaction was tears. I cried because I knew deep down that he was probably right.
He wasn't saying that there is nothing going on, but he was saying that all most of my mobility issues were due to fear and anxiety. As some of you may recall, this is not the first time I had heard this.He said if it is not MS, he is still concerned with all the "spots" on my brain MRI.
He said I could be one of those people with a rare neurological disorder that they don't normally see.
I think he was just trying to make me feel like I wasn't a nut job! He's very caring.
He is having me get a second opinion from the MS neuro in the practice.
Upon leaving his office I proceeded to feel really sorry for myself.
After that, I decided to get out of that damn wheelchair and start walking.
None to my surprise I can walk.
Now I am not walking like a "normal" person, but I can get around to living.
A few days later I saw my psychiatrist, who had already spoken to my neuro, and he said I did not have conversion disorder, but I did have much anxiety. We left off agreeing that I should take daily "walks."
Next week I will see a psychologist and finally start dealing with this anxiety.
It is something I can no longer ignore.
Today I saw a chiropractor who lives on my street wouldn't you know.
He said that he could see why my legs were initially having difficulty.
My spine is all jammed up. I am also going to get acupuncture to help deal with the anxiety issues.
I see him again on Monday.
Next week I see the other neuro and if he says he doesn't think I have MS, I am going to stop looking.
I am not hoping I have MS as this year has been hell for my family.
I do know for sure that if it is indeed MS, it is not going to kill me anytime soon and I am very capable of functioning normally most days.
I want to thank all of you on the forum who have followed me this last year.
It has been very enlightening. But the thing I like the most about this forum is that no one will be dis honest.
There have been many times that I have been "called out" on my posts and it has made me be honest with myself and really discover the root of my issues.
So far I have figured out I have had one AWFUL childhood.
I don't think I ever had the guts to admit but there it is.
Maybe I should make a stop at the mental health forum.
Can't hurt!
Keep looking up!
Kerri
We watch and helped Kerri through a year of rapid decline and every tiny twitch and ping in her body was amplified into major problems because of her mental state. She anticipated MS would do 'this' and 'that' and surprise, soon after she would be reporting that those exact problems has occurred for her. The anxiety of possible having MS was making her sicker that her MS was, if that makes sense.
It was also a good test of everyone here to be supportive and helpful to her, while not agreeing with everything she said was happening to her. If you've been here long you will find there are people who won't automatically go into pity mode and agree 100% - they weigh the story and then base their comments on facts. Kerri's stories tested that over and over. It was wonderful to hear from her that she appreciated the tough love she got her - usually people just go away and don't let us know if they found help here.
I hope all of this makes sense as part of the lessons learned.
It was also a good test of everyone here to be supportive and helpful to her, while not agreeing with everything she said was happening to her. If you've been here long you will find there are people who won't automatically go into pity mode and agree 100% - they weigh the story and then base their comments on facts. Kerri's stories tested that over and over. It was wonderful to hear from her that she appreciated the tough love she got her - usually people just go away and don't let us know if they found help here.
I hope all of this makes sense as part of the lessons learned.
And also lulu what was learned from it, anyhing that could help others like me who are struggling?
Got it thanks Jj
Appreciate the time
While we're on have you read the studies on oestrogen and testosterone for Ms? Looks interesting for people to be able to stop neurodegeneration
Appreciate the time
While we're on have you read the studies on oestrogen and testosterone for Ms? Looks interesting for people to be able to stop neurodegeneration
I would also like to know how she is getting on, but can't leave her a message or note. We can only hope she got the answers she was searching for and the medical help to stabilize and even improve.
We all learned a lot with Kerri and her journey here. -L
We all learned a lot with Kerri and her journey here. -L
COMMUNITY LEADER
These postings are only a portion of her 'posting history' but in this particular thread, Kerritelli's said her neurologist was unsure if she had MS and was sending her to an MS neuro for a second opinion......
"He is having me get a second opinion from the MS neuro in the practice.........Next week I see the other neuro and if he says he doesn't think I have MS, I am going to stop looking. "
.....and why i was pointing out that a 'confirmation of MS' by the MS neurologist she saw was undisclosed, she never actually posted on medhelp again.
Cheers......JJ
"He is having me get a second opinion from the MS neuro in the practice.........Next week I see the other neuro and if he says he doesn't think I have MS, I am going to stop looking. "
.....and why i was pointing out that a 'confirmation of MS' by the MS neurologist she saw was undisclosed, she never actually posted on medhelp again.
Cheers......JJ
Hi thanks JJ
I thought she was diagnosed with Ms from looking back through her posts?
I agree that it was very fast looking at her post, hence thr reason I wanted to know how she got on
I thought she was diagnosed with Ms from looking back through her posts?
I agree that it was very fast looking at her post, hence thr reason I wanted to know how she got on
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't believe 'kerritelli' has posted since 2012, from the very beginning of her posting history, MS was a very unlikely diagnoses for what she described experiencing at the rapid rate she experienced everything. Whether she ever did receive a confirmed diagnosis of MS or if mental health was her final diagnosis has not been disclosed.....
Cheers.........JJ
Cheers.........JJ
Hi Kerri
I wonde how you got on now? I've been experiencing something very similar to you that a lot of people are contributing anxiety as a major cause of which I must admit, could be partially true or at least isn't helping
I wondered how yiur hetting on now?
I wonde how you got on now? I've been experiencing something very similar to you that a lot of people are contributing anxiety as a major cause of which I must admit, could be partially true or at least isn't helping
I wondered how yiur hetting on now?
I just saw this thread and am stunned that someone here would say this to you.
I know you know that the vast majority here are supportive and concerned, and hope that that one accusation doesn't put you off from keeping us abreast of your situation.
Glad to hear you're getting help for your anxiety as it is quite responsive to treatment and will make a huge difference in how you're feeling. And am very pleased to hear you're walking. I wonder if you've considered physio as this woulds probably be very helpful for you. It's the thing that gives many of us the push to do more, if we have an appt with a professional vs trying to stay motivated on our own. Plus they can ensure your safety as you work to build up your strength and balance.
Keep in touch and ignore the haters. xo
I know you know that the vast majority here are supportive and concerned, and hope that that one accusation doesn't put you off from keeping us abreast of your situation.
Glad to hear you're getting help for your anxiety as it is quite responsive to treatment and will make a huge difference in how you're feeling. And am very pleased to hear you're walking. I wonder if you've considered physio as this woulds probably be very helpful for you. It's the thing that gives many of us the push to do more, if we have an appt with a professional vs trying to stay motivated on our own. Plus they can ensure your safety as you work to build up your strength and balance.
Keep in touch and ignore the haters. xo
No need kerritelli, I don't think you are making anything up and totally believe your Dx of MS. I'm just relieved to not hear that its ALS. I was really worried and so am very pleased it's not that.
Like I said mental illness is real and I have no doubt your experience is real, just because it was exasberated by anxiety doesn't make it any less real.
I believe most people here are just happy you are finding answers and do not disbelieve you. we truely care about your well being :). Keep fighting the good fight Kerri！
Like I said mental illness is real and I have no doubt your experience is real, just because it was exasberated by anxiety doesn't make it any less real.
I believe most people here are just happy you are finding answers and do not disbelieve you. we truely care about your well being :). Keep fighting the good fight Kerri！
I am very thankful to everyone who is being supportive.
I just wanted to make it clear that my MS diagnosis was not withdrawn.
I am still a person with MS.
The progression of symptoms was due to anxiety.
I was shocked to get a message from a forum member saying that I should apologize to the forum for falsifying. It is almost like she said I wasted a lot if the forums time!
I want it made clear that I never falsified anything.
What I was feeling was real.
I am not going to defend myself as it is pointless
I just wanted to make it clear that my MS diagnosis was not withdrawn.
I am still a person with MS.
The progression of symptoms was due to anxiety.
I was shocked to get a message from a forum member saying that I should apologize to the forum for falsifying. It is almost like she said I wasted a lot if the forums time!
I want it made clear that I never falsified anything.
What I was feeling was real.
I am not going to defend myself as it is pointless
I was so pleased to read this Kerrtelli and I'm very happy you are being honest with yourself. Mental illnesses are some of the worst conditions! I am also proud of you! I am so pleased you are on the right track and I wish you well in your future.
Make sure you drop by and keep us updated!
Kat x
Make sure you drop by and keep us updated!
Kat x
Hi Kerri,
Wow, what a break through moment that you've had! I, like the Supermum she is, am very proud of the strength and courage that it has taken for you to tell it like it is.
Stress does such weird things to us doesn't it? Apparently,there is a huge difference looking under a microscope at a stressed cell and a relaxed cell.
Well, I really hope the counselling helps you out. For me I didn't even know I was stressed until I started trying to meditate and then.... true relaxation.
All my very best wishes to you Kerri, and I look forward to reading of your continued progress. It is uplifting for us all.
Blessings
Alex
Wow, what a break through moment that you've had! I, like the Supermum she is, am very proud of the strength and courage that it has taken for you to tell it like it is.
Stress does such weird things to us doesn't it? Apparently,there is a huge difference looking under a microscope at a stressed cell and a relaxed cell.
Well, I really hope the counselling helps you out. For me I didn't even know I was stressed until I started trying to meditate and then.... true relaxation.
All my very best wishes to you Kerri, and I look forward to reading of your continued progress. It is uplifting for us all.
Blessings
Alex
Thank you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement.
There is a reason I always came to this forum.
The guidance, patience, hope and honesty are only a few things I have found here.
I will keep you all posted and please feel free to contact me at any time.
I am always here.
Keep looking up!
Kerri
There is a reason I always came to this forum.
The guidance, patience, hope and honesty are only a few things I have found here.
I will keep you all posted and please feel free to contact me at any time.
I am always here.
Keep looking up!
Kerri
Hi Kerri,
Being honest, let alone out loud shows you have the strength to move forward toward wellness :)
It is also is proof you can get through this next phase of acceptance, proper guidance, proper treatment, and be proud of yourself for the steps you are taking.
Your doctor has it right, society (some of) has it wrong - mental illness, depression, anxiety is not-so understood by the general population who have no concept and therefore not as accepted by the masses.
But it is valid, and it is treatable for many.
I wish you the very best with your next steps. You keep putting one foot in front of the other and no looking back.
Being honest, let alone out loud shows you have the strength to move forward toward wellness :)
It is also is proof you can get through this next phase of acceptance, proper guidance, proper treatment, and be proud of yourself for the steps you are taking.
Your doctor has it right, society (some of) has it wrong - mental illness, depression, anxiety is not-so understood by the general population who have no concept and therefore not as accepted by the masses.
But it is valid, and it is treatable for many.
I wish you the very best with your next steps. You keep putting one foot in front of the other and no looking back.
Wow Kerri,
What an amazing post! I think I found this forum to find you and YOUR posts. You have been so helpful to me with your kindness. Maybe you clicked for me as our symptoms and circumstances have been so similar.
I have not had the neuro tell me I don't have MS, but I tell myself that all the time. Until I am sure it's MS, I'm going to learn how to relax and do some of the same things you've talked about. Exercise, diet, massage, acupunture, suppliments and meditation (or at least trying to meditate) That is my game plan for the next 6 months to see if I can't fix this myself as the docs can't seem to give me a treatment that will do anything.
If they think it's psycosymatic, I wish they would tell me. I point blank asked them that. I'm still not sure, but will keep up my appointments until something else comes up that may answer my questions and give me answers that make sense to me.
I would love to stay in touch with you and hear how you are doing with your stress reduction and therapy if you are going to do that on a long term basis. I do believe that stress can cause SOOO many problems, and just realizing that as you are doing will help so much. When you realize you can empower yourself to heal just by your mind, that power just keeps getting stronger. I am really pulling for you and your continued journey to a healty body, mind and spirit!
As a really nice young lady said to me once....Keep looking up! :)
What an amazing post! I think I found this forum to find you and YOUR posts. You have been so helpful to me with your kindness. Maybe you clicked for me as our symptoms and circumstances have been so similar.
I have not had the neuro tell me I don't have MS, but I tell myself that all the time. Until I am sure it's MS, I'm going to learn how to relax and do some of the same things you've talked about. Exercise, diet, massage, acupunture, suppliments and meditation (or at least trying to meditate) That is my game plan for the next 6 months to see if I can't fix this myself as the docs can't seem to give me a treatment that will do anything.
If they think it's psycosymatic, I wish they would tell me. I point blank asked them that. I'm still not sure, but will keep up my appointments until something else comes up that may answer my questions and give me answers that make sense to me.
I would love to stay in touch with you and hear how you are doing with your stress reduction and therapy if you are going to do that on a long term basis. I do believe that stress can cause SOOO many problems, and just realizing that as you are doing will help so much. When you realize you can empower yourself to heal just by your mind, that power just keeps getting stronger. I am really pulling for you and your continued journey to a healty body, mind and spirit!
As a really nice young lady said to me once....Keep looking up! :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Kerry,
I am so so PROUD of you right now, you have absolutely no idea how much!! Wow girl, talk about having the courage of a lion, do you even realise how much courage it takes to post your update? I'm being serious, it takes a heck of a lot to face this as it is, but to tell us like you have just gives me goose bumps.
Walk tall and use this 'courage' to your advantage, you have it in spades, sometimes it will hide deep within you, but trust me it is there for you to tap into, remember and reach for it when ever you need it!
HUGS.............JJ
I am so so PROUD of you right now, you have absolutely no idea how much!! Wow girl, talk about having the courage of a lion, do you even realise how much courage it takes to post your update? I'm being serious, it takes a heck of a lot to face this as it is, but to tell us like you have just gives me goose bumps.
Walk tall and use this 'courage' to your advantage, you have it in spades, sometimes it will hide deep within you, but trust me it is there for you to tap into, remember and reach for it when ever you need it!
HUGS.............JJ
Sarah....
thanks for the vote of confidence.
Meg...
I won't quit the forum. I'll check in from time to time.
But if they say I don't have MS I don't think it would be right to keep posting.
Feel free to email me whenever you want.
Bostonmom....
Please know that I posted this info as a result of a year of searching.
Like I said in the post, this isn't a new message from a neuro.
The first time I totally rejected the idea not trusting the neuro at all.
But this neuro comes from valid concern.
Now that I am finally honestly looking at my past and present, anxiety is not out of the realm of possibility. And seeing how I transformed in just a few days, told me that it is a definately factor.
They didn't say it is not MS. They said that my anxiety made my symptoms much worse than they were.
There are many people here who are labeled anxious when the doctor has nothing else to say or just doesn't want to keep digging. Those people should keep searching for the answer as they know deep down tht it is not anxiety.
I knew deep down that there was something going on related to my mental health but wouldn't admit it. So I, subconsciously, created the scenario.
The neuro said I was like a dog with lice and fleas. Meaning that I had two things going on. He said I have an underlying valid illness (possibly MS) but I brought the progression of symptoms into my life due to the fear.
Ether way, I am on the right road.
I am not sitting in the despair of being a sick person any longer.
I am now looking at myself as someone who may be sick but will move forward against my mental grain.
Another issue he mentioned was that mental illness is just as valid as a disease. He said that society just doesnt view it that way and that is one of the reasons I was so against even considering it as a factor. Either way it is neurological and needs to be dealt with.
Thanks you all for your words of wisdom and I hope you have a great weekend.
thanks for the vote of confidence.
Meg...
I won't quit the forum. I'll check in from time to time.
But if they say I don't have MS I don't think it would be right to keep posting.
Feel free to email me whenever you want.
Bostonmom....
Please know that I posted this info as a result of a year of searching.
Like I said in the post, this isn't a new message from a neuro.
The first time I totally rejected the idea not trusting the neuro at all.
But this neuro comes from valid concern.
Now that I am finally honestly looking at my past and present, anxiety is not out of the realm of possibility. And seeing how I transformed in just a few days, told me that it is a definately factor.
They didn't say it is not MS. They said that my anxiety made my symptoms much worse than they were.
There are many people here who are labeled anxious when the doctor has nothing else to say or just doesn't want to keep digging. Those people should keep searching for the answer as they know deep down tht it is not anxiety.
I knew deep down that there was something going on related to my mental health but wouldn't admit it. So I, subconsciously, created the scenario.
The neuro said I was like a dog with lice and fleas. Meaning that I had two things going on. He said I have an underlying valid illness (possibly MS) but I brought the progression of symptoms into my life due to the fear.
Ether way, I am on the right road.
I am not sitting in the despair of being a sick person any longer.
I am now looking at myself as someone who may be sick but will move forward against my mental grain.
Another issue he mentioned was that mental illness is just as valid as a disease. He said that society just doesnt view it that way and that is one of the reasons I was so against even considering it as a factor. Either way it is neurological and needs to be dealt with.
Thanks you all for your words of wisdom and I hope you have a great weekend.
Hello,
I have been experiencing very mild sensory issues since August in my four extremities. Basically, when I am not sleeping, I feel tingling in my hands and feet. Every day, I feel some combination of tingles. Some days, in my left foot sole. Somedays in my right and left pinky fingers. Somedays in my left thumb and my right full hand, etc. The point is, it is "consistently inconsistent". I took eight months off of neuros and drs as they all said I was fine. I recently started the journey again into a diagnosis.
I say all this because everyone I have seen (neuros, PCP, OBGYN, Psychologist) has suggested anxiety as test results show nothing else. But, I do not consider myself an anxious person. In fact, I consider myself to have a full, fortunate, healthy and happy life. So, how could my body be reacting so negatively to lifestyle I love????
I hope my dr's continue to come to the same realizations that yours do. I hope I can be as smart as you are and write a similar post soon. I want to believe that what I am feeling is a reaction to stress...but I am not there yet.
Good luck to you and thank you for being brave!
I have been experiencing very mild sensory issues since August in my four extremities. Basically, when I am not sleeping, I feel tingling in my hands and feet. Every day, I feel some combination of tingles. Some days, in my left foot sole. Somedays in my right and left pinky fingers. Somedays in my left thumb and my right full hand, etc. The point is, it is "consistently inconsistent". I took eight months off of neuros and drs as they all said I was fine. I recently started the journey again into a diagnosis.
I say all this because everyone I have seen (neuros, PCP, OBGYN, Psychologist) has suggested anxiety as test results show nothing else. But, I do not consider myself an anxious person. In fact, I consider myself to have a full, fortunate, healthy and happy life. So, how could my body be reacting so negatively to lifestyle I love????
I hope my dr's continue to come to the same realizations that yours do. I hope I can be as smart as you are and write a similar post soon. I want to believe that what I am feeling is a reaction to stress...but I am not there yet.
Good luck to you and thank you for being brave!
Just wanted to tell you that was a nice note, but you can't quit this forum. At least I think the door is always open.
Anxiety is so hard to live with and I didn't realize I had it at one time. But I have had a hard with it. Even two anxiety attacks that were terrifying.
Keep luck with all that and just keep working at it.
hugs, meg
Anxiety is so hard to live with and I didn't realize I had it at one time. But I have had a hard with it. Even two anxiety attacks that were terrifying.
Keep luck with all that and just keep working at it.
hugs, meg
sounds like you are proceeding down a check list and doing very well at it. We should all have the courage to look "in that mirror" from time to time.
Keep us posted and best of luck as you work thru this.......
Keep us posted and best of luck as you work thru this.......
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