How do I cope with it?

[Leanne1989]

Hi,

At 16 years old i discovered I was pregnant. bit of a panic but still excited nonetheless. Unfortunately i lost my baby at 5 and a half months. 2 weeks later my stomach hadn't gone down and had swollen even more. I ended up collapsing and was rushed to hospital where it was discovered I had a cyst completely engulffing my right ovary and crushing my kidney, liver, bladder, bowel and stomach. The doctors told me it was around the size of a football.2 weeks after that I had my surgery. They removed my right ovary and my fallopian tube along with part of my liver. I was very ill for a long time afterwards as the stress had caused my weight to drop to below 6 stone. I managed to get back to health but my scar (which goes from my belly button down to the top of my pubis) has never really healed properly and the muscles spasm randomly. Just under a year later I was having my bi-weekly scans (i was a high risk case) they discovered two cyst on my left ovary. Again, 2 weeks later i was in surgery, this time having a cesarean incision, and they took away two thirds of my left ovary. At just 17 having to deal with this a second time was too much and I went into a deep depression that, at nearly 20, I still haven't got myself out of. I didn't know how to cope with the loss of my baby and then 2 weeks later my ability to have a baby.

I know I'm a rare case as its very uncommon in young people, especially when there is no history of it within the family but I really want to find someone who is kind of in the same boat as me or even someone with good advice and knowledge just to help me. I know I sound selfish but after 4 years of depending on my friends to get me out of bed in the morning I really need to sort myself out I just don't know where to start.

So if anybody has any sort of advice or anything please let me know as I really don't want to be this person anymore    

[Leanne1989]

I was on fluoxitine (or fluoxicilin can't remember which one is which as I was on them both at the same time) for over 3 months. They made me worse (as I expected) but they didn't then begin to make me feel better. I seemed to settle skimming across rock bottom. So I came off them so i went back to how I was before.

I asked for a counsellor and I didn't get on with her well. I'd be explaining how I was feeling and how the last few days had been and she would butt in saying I shouldn't feel like that because I'm so lucky to have what I do which really didn't help so I didn't go back. My friends have become my therapists. My best friend comes round to my house and sit with me when he has finished work to make sure I'm not on my own for to long as it gets me very depressed because I have too much time to think about what has happened to me.

I can't even get a job becuase I can't sit in one place for more than an hour or so but the doctors still say they can't do anything. It riles me so much.

So sorry to hear what you have been through and I'm glad you got/are getting the help you need :)

[TrudieC]

I hope they can keep a really good check on the remaining ovarian tissue you have left.  I am so sorry you have lost so much.  Have you talked to your doctor about depression meds and possibly some therapy.  It really can make a difference.  I had several ectopic pregnancies resulting in surgeries and my tubes being tied and then I had some life threatening surgery (perforated bowel and removal of all my large colon resulting in an ileostomy) I fell into a deep depression and my doctor and therapist did so much to help.  Good luck and I'm glad you're reaching out for help.

[Leanne1989]

Sorry I forgot to add that my first cysts were borderline cancer so that was an extra thing for me to deal with