7 month old heart murmur

My son just had a 7 month visit yesterday and I was devisated to hear that he had a heart murmur. This is not the only time that the doctor has noticed this. The first time was when he was 3 months old and that went away, now at 7 months they heard one again. I am very afraid because I dont know what to expect from this. Jaren has to go see a cardiologist on the 18th for the second time. The first time they didnt seem to be very worried because they echocardiogram that they did didnt turn out correctly because my little boy wouldnt be still. So does anyone have any "positive" things they could tell me about this. I am about to go insane thinking about this. Not only that they told me not to just let him cry, well he goes to daycare, and I informed them of this and they told me that they cant just pay attention to him, so he will have to cry until someone could get to him, which is understandable at a day care but when jaren cries he dont just cry, he screams his head off, and they told me not to let that happen. Maybe I am so worried about this because I am a first time mom, and dont know what to do.....can someone help me please?

[Marie M Gleason, M.D.]

Dear amburlee:  If your child has previously seen a pediatric cardiologist and has had an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) at 3 months of age (even a limited one), then that is reassuring that the most serious forms of congenital heart disease have been already looked for. However, echocardiograms on unsedated babies can be challenging and minor forms of congenital heart disease can be missed.  Occasionally new things can develop with growth.  If your son is growing well and gaining weight and achieving normal developmental milestones, then you should see the cardiologist this month as planned and see what they feel is going on.  If  your son is still in need of a more thorough evaluation, your doctor may recommend repeating the echocardiogram with sedation, so that more information would be obtained.  If the murmur was absent for a while and then noted again, it speaks for something that would not likely be life-threatening.  Stay calm and allow your child to do his normal activities. If you are unclear as to the doctor’s recommendation about not allowing your son to cry for long periods, then you must find out why they made that recommendation.  Was there a particular concern like blueness or abnormal oxygen saturation?