Aa
What do women really want?
Ok, This question has been asked since the beginning of time. Women, answer it please!
In my 50 short years on this planet, and perhaps the last 30 or so as an adult Male, I have seen, watched and been in relationships with the opposite sex. Never has any woman been consistent in what they want from a Man.
1. You say you want us to be sensitive, but if we cry at any time, we are weak and spineless.
2. You say you want us to lead, but when we try to, then we are mean and dominating.
3. You ask for our advice, and then seem to use it as a gauge for measuring what "not" to do.
4. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?". Do you really expect us to answer that question?? If we say "Yes", we're in big trouble, If we say "No", you don't believe us and change the dress anyway. You put us in a "no win" situation!
5. All husbands, HATE when you bring them a spoonful of something and say: "Honey, taste this and see if it's bad". Well Hell woman, what if it IS?? I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!
6. Laidies, Men cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes is not "foreplay". (you'll have to think about that one to get it)
7. We have feelings that can be hurt, and even if we don't show them like you do, we have them.
8. You expect us to change light bulbs, clean the garage, repair the car, mow the grass and fix the house and earn a living because as a man "that's our job", but when we expect the favor returned in the bedroom, suddenly "we don't deserve it" because your feelings were hurt when he didn't return a phone call or some other minor offense.
So, please try to answer the question: "What do women really want", because to all men since the beginning of time, it is apparent that it cannot be answered because none of you know what you want, and/or what you want changes minute to minute.
Donald the frustrated.
In my 50 short years on this planet, and perhaps the last 30 or so as an adult Male, I have seen, watched and been in relationships with the opposite sex. Never has any woman been consistent in what they want from a Man.
1. You say you want us to be sensitive, but if we cry at any time, we are weak and spineless.
2. You say you want us to lead, but when we try to, then we are mean and dominating.
3. You ask for our advice, and then seem to use it as a gauge for measuring what "not" to do.
4. "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?". Do you really expect us to answer that question?? If we say "Yes", we're in big trouble, If we say "No", you don't believe us and change the dress anyway. You put us in a "no win" situation!
5. All husbands, HATE when you bring them a spoonful of something and say: "Honey, taste this and see if it's bad". Well Hell woman, what if it IS?? I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!
6. Laidies, Men cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes is not "foreplay". (you'll have to think about that one to get it)
7. We have feelings that can be hurt, and even if we don't show them like you do, we have them.
8. You expect us to change light bulbs, clean the garage, repair the car, mow the grass and fix the house and earn a living because as a man "that's our job", but when we expect the favor returned in the bedroom, suddenly "we don't deserve it" because your feelings were hurt when he didn't return a phone call or some other minor offense.
So, please try to answer the question: "What do women really want", because to all men since the beginning of time, it is apparent that it cannot be answered because none of you know what you want, and/or what you want changes minute to minute.
Donald the frustrated.
Oh GOOD! You haven't given it to her? *gets out red marking pencil*
Scratch this completely. There's nothing in this passage that will help you:
" I believe that things happen for a reason, and my marriage to you could very well have been orchestrated by God because you needed someone like me that has stayed with you through all of this and bring you through it. (Not many other men would have stayed) "
And put in something about how hot her bod is. You said it, you believe it, put it in there. Your gorgeous body still gets my jets revved like when we first met. Something like that. Women like to hear stuff like that, especially when it's obvoiusly true for you.
Best wishes.
Scratch this completely. There's nothing in this passage that will help you:
" I believe that things happen for a reason, and my marriage to you could very well have been orchestrated by God because you needed someone like me that has stayed with you through all of this and bring you through it. (Not many other men would have stayed) "
And put in something about how hot her bod is. You said it, you believe it, put it in there. Your gorgeous body still gets my jets revved like when we first met. Something like that. Women like to hear stuff like that, especially when it's obvoiusly true for you.
Best wishes.
Oh and I have to add. When anyone enters a relationship, either person is too nervous to use those bodily functions! Or if they do there's got to be an excuse me! I remember the very first time my boyfriend farted in front of me. He actually was picking me up and it slipped...but I could tell he was terribly embarassed. Its been 2 and a half years...and now its like a contest! He doesn't give a hoot about it anymore..I really don't care, unless he over does it. I think its this way in every relationship. Haha I dunno...
And by the way. You sound exactly like my dad! Except for the old girlfriends, and the phone calls...but the garage and the bodily functions and the snoring! Those things I think are semi-normal lol.
And by the way. You sound exactly like my dad! Except for the old girlfriends, and the phone calls...but the garage and the bodily functions and the snoring! Those things I think are semi-normal lol.
Gosh Don...you had me going! I almost cried which would have been totally embarassing since I'm at work. The letter was lovely. I agree with the other ladies though. You should add the list.
But ya know...when you see her walk through the door..or when you get home from work do you greet each other? If you don't then maybe the next time you see you should just go up to her and hug her. Tell her you love her, give her a kiss (even if its on the forehead) The littlest thing can make the biggest difference. I know that if I am in a bad mood and my honey comes up and gives me a big hug...I just feel better. Maybe you should try that? If you don't greet her. It will open her eyes to her husband. Good luck Don...were pullin for you.
But ya know...when you see her walk through the door..or when you get home from work do you greet each other? If you don't then maybe the next time you see you should just go up to her and hug her. Tell her you love her, give her a kiss (even if its on the forehead) The littlest thing can make the biggest difference. I know that if I am in a bad mood and my honey comes up and gives me a big hug...I just feel better. Maybe you should try that? If you don't greet her. It will open her eyes to her husband. Good luck Don...were pullin for you.
Thanks everyone, I haven't given her the letter yet, so I can still make those changes. Also great to get a woman's reaction and point of view. I would not have noticed those things were it not for your replies. Thanks again so much.
Don
Don
Hmmm...good points, RR. Hadn't really thought about that--the tone of sounding like he wants to try to fix her. I was more looking at it from Donald's POV and the fact that he's making an effort, acknowledges her pain, is there for the long haul, etc., but I do see that now after re-reading it. And I agree, Donald...add your faults in there, too, and say you want both of you to work together to get back to being loving, accepting, and supportive of each other. Also, I think I'd omit the part where other guys would be long gone (and your comment that she thinks the same about you)--that's just not conducive to a positive outcome.
And yes...your heart is definitely in the right place!
And yes...your heart is definitely in the right place!
Donald, you seem like a truly likeable guy, who is really making a supreme effort to help her, and make this work out. I really mean that, from the bottom of my heart.
I liked your first attempt much better with your list of your own faults. From your last letter, it's clear that you've had the conversations before that are in that letter, because you know how she'll respond, and you wrote it there.
What comes across loud and clear in your letter is you love her, you want to make this work, and you are open to all suggestions to make your marriage better. Good job. But what also comes across very loud and clear is that you think she's the problem, and that she's so wounded that she isn't a good wife, and you completely understand the cause of that because her family is sucky. And that you are really interested in working together to fix her. She's heard all that before, Donald.
What she hasn't heard is your list of stuff you have failed with. I think that list would bring her to tears.
I hope the others are right, and this will open her heart, but I think it's going to cause a fight.
Your heart is so in the right place.
Best wishes.
I liked your first attempt much better with your list of your own faults. From your last letter, it's clear that you've had the conversations before that are in that letter, because you know how she'll respond, and you wrote it there.
What comes across loud and clear in your letter is you love her, you want to make this work, and you are open to all suggestions to make your marriage better. Good job. But what also comes across very loud and clear is that you think she's the problem, and that she's so wounded that she isn't a good wife, and you completely understand the cause of that because her family is sucky. And that you are really interested in working together to fix her. She's heard all that before, Donald.
What she hasn't heard is your list of stuff you have failed with. I think that list would bring her to tears.
I hope the others are right, and this will open her heart, but I think it's going to cause a fight.
Your heart is so in the right place.
Best wishes.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
