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254521 tn?1197510309

hubby and video games

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!
56 Responses
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Avatar universal
i know this is probably going to ruffle some feathers but i just have to tell you that i personally am proud of you. because unlike these other gamers you take care of everything else first and far more important then ask for an hour for you. i see nothing wrong with that and if i was in that situation i would have NO PROBLEM with you taking that one hour to get your game on. like previous posts i bet sometimes you'd like to just get out the house b/c you can't even ask for that lil bit of time for yourself. i would be more that greatful to know that you would not be in a bar or club or another's home but on ur sofa or in ur room minding your own business unwinding.

to anybody else:

EVERYBODY needs some alone time. but a married individual SHOULD NOT be gaming all day unless it's pouring outside and you are competing with your loved one or children. or sick at home. and when you have to fuss at someone b/c they walk infront of the tv. you need to realize. you have a problem. and if your loved one has to walk up to the device and UNPLUG it because they are INVISIABLE to you.. you need help. you should never feel second best to your significant other ESPECIALLY over a game. that is just CHILDISH. and my heart goes out to all of you. i hope it gets better.

**HUGS** <<  b/c i think ya'll need it.
Helpful - 0
233772 tn?1297353383
Its amazing how many are addicted to gaming. My husband plays WOW and it was in the beginning a huge issue with me. He played all day and would never get anything done. We have a home that needs tending to. I get sick and tired of just seeing his but firmly planted on the computer chair for hours. It made me angrier and angrier. One day I just stopped in front of him and said I don't care if you get mad at me or not but this has got to stop! We have children that need our attention, a yard that needs attention, a house that needs attention and I also need attention. I said to just look around cause what you see is what you get. I work just as much or more and I will not stand it anymore to do it all. He has a choice and so do I. I don't have to live like that. Sometimes it takes intervention. He is really good at it now. I really don't mind him playing so long as its a give and take. I wouldn't dream of denying him. Sometimes its nice cause I just go shopping!! LOL Anyway, had it not changed I can say I would definately be gone! I can't stand to not be active. Its crazy when I go over other gamers homes and its messy and there they are playing night and day! And they all wonder why they can't keep their weight down when all they do is sit around and play. DUH!  Kids are being raised alone right in front of their parents. I know  of parents whose kids play wow and they are only 10!!! That is just nuts! Its becoming an epidemic. I just enrolled my kids in Tae Kwon Do and my husband also comes with us to practice. Thank God he seems to play alot less cause he knows whats more important. Good luck! Be firm on what you want and take drastic measures if needed cause an addiction needs that.
Paula
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey I fail to understad did u post ur comment here to help mommy27 or were u here to encourage mommy27 & other people to go & get back to playing video games specially World of Warcraft. Lol..

I am sorry I shud not be laughing out here, as this is not a joke but Crystlas you have to understand that you cannot end your comment stating that itz to time for u to go & play World of Warcraft, which clearly means that more than this forum & etc, your game is very important. If that was the case then why did u have to post ur opinion in the first place. U cud have actually spent that time playing World of Warcraft, probably u wud have actually completed a level in that game, rather than spending time posting ur comment here & then getting back to ur game, which I guess probably caused some delay in you getting back to play the game.

Anyways, I am sure mommy27  would like to thank u for ur opinion which according to u is a valuable opinion frm ur end.

Have a nice day & enjoy playing ur games & next time always remember that you must first give priority to human beings & then to your World of Warcraft game. Back here mommy27 's prob is still not fixed & u r cooly ending ur opinion stating that it high time for you to start playing the game. I guess you have to be made to realise that you have reached the wrong forum. Please go & post ur coments & opinion on a forum that encourages/ & requests people to play video games.

Bye & please dont forget to go and start playing ur game after reading my coment.

Thank you..
Helpful - 0
337492 tn?1212458836
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....... I am an avid gamer and so is my fiance.  That is what attracted us to each other in the first place.  A card game called Magic the Gathering.  We both love game systems, card games and computer games.  We game together, HOWEVER  only after we have done our necessary responsibilities, spent time together doing other things like sex, movies, cooking dinner and spending time with friends and family.  I hate seeing all this negitive feedback about gamers.  Gaming can be addicitive if abused, but if used properly it is a fun hobby like anything else.  Mommy27, NO you are not being needy in any way what-so-ever.  He is your husband and you have kids.  He should spend quality time with you and your children.  Gaming should be reserved for down time a few hours a week, as a treat.  He has an addiction problem and needs help.  I wanted to defend all the other gamers out there that use games as a hobby during down time only.  I am a female gamer, which is rare, but gosh... It is time to go play World of Warcraft!!!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hope u & ur family are doing.

Just wanted to provide you with a small piece of info. In your life pls dont ever ever ever think of pouring water on the XBox 360, b'coz eventhough it is covered by waranty, the waranty does not cover liquid spills. Which means that if u pour some water over it, then ur husband would not be able to get it replaced & he would have to buy a new one altogether. I do understand that probablycan afford a new xbox 360, but why to even think of pouring water on it, when he would surely go out and buy a new one.

I really understand what ur going thru. These games r really very addictive. I am also quite addicted to these games, but I play them only when I find an opportunity to do so. I work nearly 12 hours a day & so when back at home, itz only when I find time to play these video games (playstation is what I own at the moment)/ & computer games I wud do so. I have to confess that I have been so addicted that I have instaled a few games on my office computer as well since I am not allowed to instal the playstation at work. So even though I have instaled a few games back at work, I only play them when I get the opportunity while at work. I do realise my responsibility & even though I play these games for a while at work & play the games at home too, I am still able to meet the expectations of the company with regards to my work.

As mentioned above by one of the member, being addicted to this game is much better than getting addicted to alcohol or picking up diff woman every night.

I am sure ur husband is responsible as well with regards to his work & family. With regards to him spending time with u, u can very strictly go ahead & tell him strictly that u wud like him to spend more time with u & after dinner atleast give him a time slot of 3 hours to play on the xbox 360. I am sure 3 hours after dinner would be fine with him & then he can spend time with u.

Have a nice day ahead. Take care.

Cheers!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi All,

I am a husband gamer and researching this issue.   Before I got married, I played Halo3/Call of Duty 4 on XboxLive an average of 3 - 4 hours a day with my son.  

After I got married, I played for about 1 hour a night to sometimes skipping a few nights here and there.   I do the cooking, cleaning, squeezing in 'pillow talks' and intimacy every night.  Lately, we've even been doing puzzles together as a family. We go out every so often to visit my mother whom was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

Apparently one hour a night is even too much to ask for.   I have the discipline to automatically turn it off once that full hour is in, yet she still gets mad and gives me attitude.    Yes, I do try each time to make up for it...but what is ONE HOUR out of the DAY?  

From my point of view, I do anything and everything to spend quality time with my family.    But all I ask is one whole hour.   One hour to get my mind off of the busy day from work, kids,chores, my partners emotional needs.   Is that really too much?  

Yes, I have the tendency in the past to be like your husbands and boyfriends...but I've built that discipline.   It just annoys me that I can be such a great husband and father as I am everyday told...but once I turn that Xbox on for a limited time I become the worse husband and father.
Helpful - 0
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