hubby and video games

[mommy27]

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!

[Crystlas]

I understand you being passionate about not posting addiction "teasers" in forums about addictions.  They are, in fact, on this web site under the forum listing.  I would never, being a social worker at that, post anything of such a nature in those forums.  However, this thread is not for gaming addicts, so I saw no harm in stating that I was a responsible gamer, that was going to go enjoy my game.  Which happened to only happen twice this past week.  So again, if this thread had game addicts in it, I would not have posted that.  I understand the power of addictions and I agree with you in it being unorthodox to post such comments where it might aggrivate or encourage and addict to pick up a habit they are trying to recover from.  There again, this thread is in support of a woman with a husband that is way out of control with his gaming addiction.  He is not posting on this thread, nor are any other gaming addicts.  I am in support of the original poster and was trying to shead some light on the differences between healthy gamers and gaming addicts, due to the bashing of gamers by other posters.

[Prince85]

So itz like me stating I am not addicted to beer &  I came to the alcohol addiction forum/ or hospital that gets people to recover from being alcoholic, just to give my piece of opinion abt how bad is it to be addicted to alcohohol & then at the end of my lecture/ comment I state that  'I KNOW HOW MUCH COLD BEER TO DRINK AS I REALIZE MY RESPONSIBILITIES & TODAY I HAD ATTENDED 1 MAJOR BUSINESS METTING, SO NOW i AM OFF TO GOLD COAST, AUSTRALIA TO ENJOY A NICE CHILLED BEER WITH SOME BARBEQUE CHICKEN.

Wouldnt that above statement be enough to make people log out from the forum or leave the hospitals to get some BEER & have fun eventhough they are highly addicted to beer.

Please I am really not here to argue with you. You are also right with what your saying, but my only request is that you cannot & should never end your comment here stating that now it is time to GET BACK TO PLAYING GAMES eventhough I agree that you clearly mentioned that you have completed ur responsibilities both at work & at home. But if you want to play, please go and play, but just leave ur piece of opinion/ comment here & quitely get back to your game without making an advance announcement. Please it is a request for next time.

Eventhough I am 26 years old, I still believe, that each and every day, we learn something new & therez is nothing wrong in accepting our mistakes and learning from it. And back here I am talking for the welfare of the people not just me or you.

I hope u wud understand what I am trying to convey. Thank you..

Have a nice weekend ahead..

[tyler_D]

speak of the devil..i was about to play some halo, but decided to meddle in other peoples lives first..

"The essential masculine ecstacy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn't understand these masculine ways and needs." -David Deida

i can't blame him i do the same thing. its hard not to. keep in mind this is the digital age.

[Crystlas]

Glad you wrote back.  I stated that I was going to go play the game after my post as a way of saying I have done my daily responsibilities and now it is goof of time with WOW.  As far as your reference to alcohol, if this thread were recovering game addicts, then yes it would have been inappropriate to say that I was going to go play my game, just like teasing alcoholics saying I was going to go enjoy a nice cold beer.  However, this is a post from a woman concerned about her husbands game addiction.  I saw several responses where gamers were bashed and wanted to let others know that just because you are a gamer, does not mean you are an addict.  People on this thread were commenting on how much they hate game systems due to the addiction and how annoying they are.  Well, used in stride they are neither addictive or annoying.  The real world and this forum are not hospitals for recovering addicts, so your comment about not having beer in the hospital really does not apply to this thread.  

[Prince85]

Hi, listen frankly speaking I was not trying to BASH you or argue with you. It was just taht I was surprised with the way you had ended your comment earlier stating that 'It is time to go play World of Warcraft!!!'  which clearly stated that after clicking on the post comment tab on this page, you would get back to playing a game so called World of Wavecraft.I was only trying to state that we are at the moment on a forum to discuss the disadvantages of being addicts to video games & I dont think it is right to end the comment stating that itz time to get back to playing games, eventhough I agree that you clearly stated that a person should not be addicted to the games & playing the games for a while is fine as long as they have completed all their work & as long as they r spending enough time with their family.

Ok let me give u an example. Just imagine I go to a forum where in people r discussing the disadvantages of getting addicted to alcohol. Then in that case for example if I go ahead and explain that as long as people drink alcohol occassionally itz fine & then towards the end of my comment, if I state that itz time I go & pick some BEER!! That would really not sound good, right.. I am sure in that case you would react and tell me, that if I wanted to have the beer, why is it that I am making an announcement in a place where people are discussing the disadvanges of having alcohol.

If you have some more time, I would like to give you another example, in cases where people visit hospitals just to come out of the habit of being an alcoholic, u wud not even find a single can of beer in the hospital, I am right in stating that. B'coz hospital and such forums are places that wud not promote things for which people r already addicted to.

So ultimately the similar thing works here. We are discussing about people being addicted to a game, so in that case we cannot end our coment stating itz time to get back to playing the game. Trust me, the next thing people wud think of is playing video games & no one wud even remember ur advice of playing it for a limited time each day.

I hope you understand what I was trying to convey. Thank you for reading.

And about mommy27, we dont knw if she has moved on, b'coz she has not confirmed if she really did get over it or no, & u never know, maybe she might have even ended up with a divorce just b'coz of that XBox 360 & she is no more having an access to a computer as probably now she is on her own. But I really hope she has got over all this. And yes I really did not realise that the article was posted during september 2007 as this is my 3 rd day on this amazing forum.

Have a nice day a head.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

No problem, no apology needed.  Just letting you know that there are responsible gamers like your hubby out there!  It makes me sad to think that people live like drug addicts for a game.  So very sad....creeps me out!