Abused for a long time

[otto12]

I've been with my husband since I was 17. I'm now 50. He has been abusive most of the time we have been together. About 20 years ago. I lost my career because I could not work anymore because of severe panic attacks depression and agoraphobia caused by his abuse at the time I still loved him but now I want to leave but I am disabled with a lot of physical problems as well as the panic and depression.  I don't have family or friends and don't know how I would survive on my own. He destroyed my new car now I don't have one. He's getting a workers comp settlement soon but I don't know if I'm entitled to any of it. I'm just miserable all the time. Last year I had sepsis from surgery I had and I have that to deal with also.  I just don't know where to turn.  I'm sick and lonely and miserable.

[Cheril252]

ps.  Also see a family divorce attorney. Not a regular attorney who does everything, but one who specializes in family law.  there are free consultations and you can get an idea of how much it will cost.  I saved up over 3 years and paid my attorney up front after I moved out.  

[Cheril252]

Have been through nearly the same thing as you.  YOU are entitled to his pension, 401K plans, and probably the workers comp. money.  Can you get disability on  your own?    Heres how I finally got away from my abusive husband of 20 years.  I moved OUT, had health problems for years cause of him.  Try to save up the best you can in cash, hide it somewhere.  If you cant, then MOVE OUT, get a family member to help you. Can you move to a parents house temporarily?  I just got out, moved out, most of my stuff to my mothers, the rest to a friends house.  It took years but myhealth has been better and Im getting alimony before the divorce has taken place. You can get alimony (maintenance support) once you move out.  You may have to petition the court or he might willingly give it to you once you serve him with divorce papers.  He will not want to go to court to give you the alimony so he might give it to you.  I understand your health problems as I had panic too, but its all gone since I left him. Im in the process of divorce now and I am entitled to half of everything, and so are you.   Just try to find someone to help you move out.  If you have no one, contact a place like
Catholic Charities.  Nothing will change until you move out.  He wont get better and your health wont get better. Hes an abuser and will continue to control you until you can move out.  I wish you the best as you face this difficult situation.

[margypops]

Awww so sorry you are going through this , I feel that you do need to be strong enough to leave , it wont change and you still have a long life ahead ,pluck up courage to save and make a move , being alone is better than the life you have with him, start at the Doctor see if you can get some therapy how to deal with the panic etc do you take meds for it ?

[AnnieBrooke]

Talk to a lawyer about whether you are entitled to any of his worker's comp settlement, and talk to a therapist if you can.