Is this an abuse or not?

[skrom]

My husband and I have a different sexual desire. He wants to have a sex almost every night, but for me it is OK to have it once in two weeks. He is really insisiting on having sex more often, and although I have no desire I have to follow his request. He does not forse me, but keeps tauching me and asking for sex, untill I finally give up. I was trying to explain him, I get tired by the end of the day and just want to sleep, but itv seems when he is in a mood nothing can stop him. If I decide to avoid sex, he will be mad at me and might stop talking to me for a couple days. From another point I realize if I will not have sex with him he might start looking around. What should I do?

[benjimom]

I think guys in general usually have higher sex drives over women.  We get tired too and sometimes have more demands made of our times, like caregiving, etc.

I would sit down and be open with him. Maybe you could have a couple nights off a week .  I don't think it's abuse, but I think also he should respect you are tired and back off of you.  

[Rainbow_Ike]

I will repeat it again, since the last time I said it was in the middle of a long post:

IF YOU HAVE HAD A MAJOR CHANGE, EITHER PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL, IN RECENT YEARS, GET A COMPLETE MEDICAL CHECK UP. Since your libido (sex drive) appears to be the main problem (I say appears - it might just be your basic energy level) I would suggest your gynocologist.

* * * *

And please, ladies, can you stop making generalizations about us men? Admittedly, as a gay man I might not be as "typical" a Neanderthal as some of your husbands, or other men you know, but guess what? We DO like to cuddle. Just not as often, or for as long. And I wouldn't make genralizations about gay men, either. I know some who are just as much "wham-bam-thank-you-Sam" as their straight frat brothers, I know some who as soft and cuddly as any of YOU, and play rough sports to relax after working construction all day. (Yes, we are not all hair-dressers and interior designers - you should see what a mess our place is, and I cannot trim my own beard - and we don't own a poodle but a Rottweiler.)

Just as we cannot make generalizations about women, please stop thinking about men as a bunch of hormone driven apes. (but some are)  Although it IS true that we are genetically coded to demand possession of the remote control for the TV. My lover and I solved that one by getting a spare. We survived 27 years in a society that rejects us by learning to compromise. Even about differing sexual needs.  Two men who don't ALWAYS need it???

[nafig]

Why do you think "it is not man's job to clean the house"? Women nowdays work too, and sometimes get more money than men.

[RockRose]

kitty,  I'll turn that one around on you - ;D - give a guy all the sex he wants and he'll be MOST happy (i mean,  really HAPPY) to wash the kitchen floor.  

Happier than he would be if he wasn't getting much sex but I was scrubbing the floor.

[kittycat1433]

As for men helping around the house that is not there job an hey will resent u for it i will do my job and my husband can do his now as for takin the kid's on a sat for some alone time would be nice but i don't want anyone doing my job for me a house should be clean i think for the husband when he comes home from a long day's work and for that matter i want my house clean for me and my children it is not a man's job to clean the house maybe im old-fashion on that one not sure but the man bring's home the bacon and deservies a clean house an if he dosen't come home to aclean house then he is not a happy man.

[kittycat1433]

Someone said above that sex is huge part of a marriage, well i disagree yes it comes with marriage but it isn't huge what is huge is raising ur children to be the best they can be college etc... men alway's want sex and it is such a turn off how abt a nice back rub without sex being the motive why can't men be more giving it alway's has to be abt the man what happen to the special thing's for women if men would show a side tha wasn't a work up to sex they might get it more often.Why can't the men make a nice candle lite dinner and a big bubble bath etc.....Men aren't what the use to be.My husband has a prob and can't seem to get it up we snuggle in bed and im happy with that bcuz im tired to @the end of the day 3 kid's.Word of the day gentalmen do any of u guy's out here know what thatis anymore?My situation is reversed and i want sex sometimes also but i sur wouldn't bother someone abt it serious turn off i think it is harrasment when the man or women just keep's on when the other is so tired and they just want to go to sleep show some damn respect to the person u are suppose to love and maybe u will get love in return.kitty/melissa.