Sexual and emotional abuse therapy didn't help me

[lalila]

I feel so empty now. No amount of explaining or talking made it better someone abused me and more than one person, ranging from physical emotional and sexual abuse. Everytime ur abused again it makes u feel like ur some target. Some ppl get along fine and are never abused. No amount of therapy erases the memories. The only thing that helped me live my life was when I forgot it myself. But anything can bring it back, just remembering any sad relationship or my abuses having a happier life now just makes me feel I'll for all the hurt they caused me.  What's moving on if this stuff triggers memories and brings me to tears. I tried to act normal to these ppl but maybe I hate then so much I hate them. Own parents own friends ex lovers, a brother. I hate them at varying degrees but they all abused me psychologically or sexually or both

[lucky7480]

Yeah I agree it's so haRd. I feel like the more I get abused the more I change. I have always stayed away from harm since I was a little girl but I did it all wrong I kept running away numbing myself without drugs I didn't let anyone in . I started counseling for my near rape death experiences molestation everything I forgot about they said it would help me care for others if I dealt with this. Well I had a lot of support and god but then I felt the pain worst then ever. Night mares depression then I started going down the wrong road and lost everything that meant the world to me. I had support medication god a good husband my kids. Then just cause I started remembering made me crazy and angry. So I was mad at god and tried tokill myseld many times but god wont let me die. This horrble experience tauggt me and made me reluze life has meaning and my whole being has changed.

[Nighthawk61]

make very sure you don't choose a partner that will abuse you.

[Nighthawk61]

Your going to lose your parents one day anyway, i've had to do without my family for the same reason, and i don't miss their ******** at all. And I've gone on with my life i have my own husband and kids.. i don't need them anymore but it was tough and lonely for a while. just more room for friends in your life... you're never going to be able to heal until these people are a distant memory, addiction to family and co-dependency lessens in direct relation to having to be part of their lives, it's like your telling them it was okay to abuse you, was it okay for them to abuse you?

[lalila]

the only thing remotely close to enabling that is if i move to another country, again. i moved away from my parents ages ago.  Apparently sometimes it comes up in a dream, when I read about other peoples sexual abuse, or abuse in general.  I cant excommunicate my parents, or i try not to, but i hardly call.  i dont have any other parents so its not like i can ditch every single person in my life so that i can not trigger anything. most of the times its fine cos sometimes i just forget about things, and i treat them like they are normal parents, because they also act like they forgot everything.  i wont take antidepressants because while going to therapy i already found out its not because im usually depressed, its because things trigger me to remember.

[AnnieBrooke]

Have these people been prosecuted?  Can you do that?

In any case, it sounds like time to make plans to set up your life so you never have to see them again.  Take back your power by saying Goodbye.  Also, please talk to your therapist about getting onto an antidepressant.  It won't make the bad things disappear, but at least you will find you are not crying all the time.