appropriate age for girls

[milehighguy]

what age is the appropriate age for a father to stop picking up his daughter and letting her wrap her legs around his waist while they hug and kiss each other on the lips?

[narla]

I'm sensing a real problem here,If you're not comfortable with the way their relationship is I'd leave,he obviously doesn't want to discuss it and personally I find it strange.Also you have to think about your son ,it sounds like he is uncomfortable with the situation as well.I just don't like the thought of leaving the girl in this situation it sends up red flags to me.

Denise

[Lisi251]

Hmmm. my children are 25 & 27 I still give them a peck on the lips as I say hello & goodbye
didnt know anyone would think that was strange.

[RockRose]

I agree Lisi,  giving a person a peck on the lips to say hello or goodbye isn't strange and i don't think anyone would think it was.  It's really hard to imagine comparing what you are describing with what milehighguy is describing -

[narla]

I totally agree RockRose this isn't just a peck on the lips,he was holding her running his hands through her hair and kissing her all over the face,He is also caressing her she is 9 and impressionable at this age in my opinion it is not appropriate.

Denise

[milehighguy]

Narla, I have been contemplating leaving for quite some time, but he is my high school sweet heart and first love, and I really believed a second chance at a first love was meant to be. Call me a romantic fool, but I thought so. I just didn't believe he would be this way. I worry that his little girl will see how its ok to be overly affectionate with dad and think its ok to be that way with any guy. That behavior will get her into trouble quick. I also worry she will try to get closer to dad than what she already is. Once you start giving into that extra attention, it eventually needs more extra attention. He is not teaching her to respect him or herself. I don't like the idea of my son being made to feel that way. I'm an adult, but he is a child still, even at 16. I'm so glad you agree with me and see it is not appropriate. I was wondering if I was overthinking it? Lisi251, a simple peck is understandable, even though that was something my parents  and I stopped doing in my preteen years. I know of other families who still do and that's ok. This is not simple. Thank you rockrose, the descriptions are no comparison! Last we talked he demanded I deal with it, but I cannot in any way be comfortable with this type of behavior. I have to end it regardless of how I feel for my son's sake. I showed him how he can still show her love,  but in more appropriate ways, but he kept going back to the old way. We have an incredible relationship when his kids are at their moms, but when they come to see him, we do not get along because of this issue. I can't find a way to be comfortable with this, am I wrong? Is there a way?

[narla]

You've said it yourself you can't be comfortable with this,you don't want to live the rest of your life being uncomfortable,he won't change especially if he thinks there is nothing wrong with the behaviours,You really don't have much choice,and no you are not wrong,also your son is important,I'd be worried in case she started to flirt with him.He doesn't need this this type of confusion when he is going through adolescence,My personal opinion,I'd leave.

Denise