Addicted to vicodin the norco kind and need help

[Mark42190]

I am a 21 year old male college student, who made the mistake of trying one of my mother's pain killers.  I have been off and on vicodin for about a year now.  I don't have a perscription and I have been taking the pills from my mom, which makes me feel like a horrible person, but I know that's addiction.  I have withdrawaled many of times over the year because I can't take a lot because they are my mom's pills.  Everytime I have withdrawaled I always go to this site because it shows me that there are people who  care, which is what I really need right now.  My mom did catch me about 2 months ago and I spilled my guts to her about everything and she was mad because she is probably addicted as well from what I have seen.  But both my parents showed me the greatest support a person could ask for.  However, I only stayed sober for 16 days and went right back to it.  And this time my parents don't know and I am scared that they would find out I have been taking my mom's pills again.  Im sorry for writing so much but I have been taking between 2-6 pills of 10mg of norco as like I said before on and off.  This time I kind of went on a binge and took a bunch for like 3 weeks.  To get to my point lol i want to stop for good I am young and can't be dealing with this addiction anymore.  I feel like a horrible son for stealing my mom's pills even though she forgave me.  But then after she forgave me I stayed sober for 16 days and went right back to stealing her pills again.  I know this withdrawal is gonna suck just like all the other withdrawals I have been through lol.  I just want to talk to the people on here to give me pointers on how to stay clean instead of relasping over and over.  I believe in Jesus Christ and know that he is with me always and will help guide me past this addiction, but I want other addicts to tell me that I can be clean forever and that I can do it.  All the people who have posted on this website I want to thank because even though the withdrawal I am goinng through is probably not as bad as some of my others, but the first couple times I withdrawaled this site saved my life from kiling myself, because the withdrawals were so bad.  I am currently 24 hours without a pill and the pain has definitly has kicked in.  You guys are great even though I have never posted here before, from the hundreds of comments I have read, it makes me happy that there are people out there that are trying to help other addicts and i hope you guys can help me even more by giving me support.  Please someone write back lol

[atthebeach]

hey mark,
long time since we have heard from you. how are you doing?
praying that you are still fighting this battle over addiction.
sending prayers and hugs
debbie

[Dave1963]

I'm sorry Mark...Day 2 not 4 !!!  You know for me days 2-3 were the hardest so keep the faith buddy :)

[Dave1963]

Mark...Day 4 !!!  That's awesome !!  Things will get better each day from hear on in with the wd's.  Try to get outside and walk around a little.  Close your eyes and take deep breaths and think to yourself how wonderful that air smells.  When we're on these pills we often forget about the little things in life, the little things we used to enjoy before our lives were overtaken.  Sit and reflect on how your life used to be before the addiction, I do this alot and it helps and will also make you smile which is important :)  If you need anything just let me know...Dave

[Mark42190]

Thanks voxxx that gives me hope that I can totally stop.  I am a full blown addict and like you said if I take just one even if I have been clean a month I go right back to taking a ton and the process repeats.  I am day 4 now and have had minor cravings, but I need to stop I can't take withdrawaling every other month.  Thanks for your story though it reminds me I am not the only young person in college secretly dealing with a drug addiction.  Also congrats on 6 months can't wait till I can say that.

[voxxx]

I know what your going through, myself being 21 and in college. I started off like you taking a few norcos a couple days a week back when I was 16. And it progressed over the past 5 years from oxycontin, dilaudid, fentanyl and finally iv heroin. I have been through withdrawals too many times to count. Im sure you will be able to beat the withdrawals as you seem genuinely wanting to stop.

As far as taking some more pills after the withdrawals are over, if your anything like me be aware that one use WILL eventually bring you back into full blown dependency. I dont know why it is like that (for me atleast) with opiates, but I know for me its either full addiction or none at all. Ive been clean for over 6 months now so it IS possible.

[atthebeach]

hey mark, how is today going for you? you can do this you will do this. you can win this battle over addiction. our GOD is greater and HE can do great and mighty things on your behaf. keep the faith my brother.
hugs and prayers
debbie