Am I addicted?

[opiohelp82]

New here, I have a complicated question and anyone out there with info about this would be greatly appreciated! I have been taking OCs for about 6 months now. Never have taken opiods before that. I started out at a pretty high dose for an intolerant person (30mg/day) and ONLY 6 months later, I was up to 300mg!!!! Anyway, I have never tried to quit until about 2 weeks ago. It was so easy to get these meds as I have a friend who gets a 90 script a month and only takes 2 or 3 (80mg pills)! He would just give me what he had left over and I would self-medicate for my back problems (My back problems are another story in itself). I have had flat feet my entire life and it had started to affect my back when I was 15 & 16. When I would go see the Dr, he would just tell me that I was fine and give me flexeril and Skelaxin to help with muscle issues. Each Dr. I've been to has treated me the same way saying it is all muscle related when I know I am in so much pain and those muscle relaxers don't help. I've even been transferred to a chiropractor to see if that helped. It felt soooooo good when he would first crack my back, but as soon as I bent down to get into the car, It would go back to the same excrutiating pain! After a year of that, I figured out that it would never work and that no Dr. would ever help me live a normal life. So, 6 months ago I had a tooth worked on and the Dr. gave me Lortab to help with the pain. I took them and realized that It helped not only my tooth pain, but to an extent, my back pain as well. So I remembered my friend that was taking OC's and how he had offered them to me one day when I could barely walk, but I never accepted before because I was scared of them. So I went to his house and he gave me about 2 months worth of his (almost 180 OC's!) and I started taking how much ever it took to keep me going for that day. Needless to say, It did not take me long to build up a tolerance as I was taking them not only for pain, but also because they made me feel good and I could really interact with people better. Here 6 months later, I began to realize that I had to come off of these NOW! before it became any worse. I tried tapering (that was a joke), I tried CT and went into the worst withdraws ever. So I decided to see about getting suboxone to help until I could comfortably come down. Well, about a week ago, I got my suboxone and waited 15 hours before taking it. I was very uncomfortable after those 15 hours, but I was able to take the suboxone with no problems. So I was doing good for like 4 days when all of a sudden, I felt like I just had to take an OC, so I did. The suboxone blocked most of the effects, but I did get a little buzz. I waited till the next morning (yesterday morning) and took another one (80mg) and felt way better this time. I took another 1/2 at around 3pm (yesterday) and then last night at 9pm, i took 4, 10mg norco's and was going to wait until this morning until I was in much discomfort before going back on the suboxone. Here is the problem, at this moment, 15 hours later, I still feel great and am not going through any w/d's!?!? I don't understand? In the past, I always start to feel uncomfortable around 6 hours after I take the OC's and in pretty bad withdraws after 10-12 hours, and here it is 15 hours after I have taken the norco's and I have 0 w/d symptoms? Maybe I wasn't addicted after all? or maybe I should just wait a little longer? Either way, I am not going to take the suboxone until I feel pretty sick. WOW this turned out to be a way longer post than I expected. Sorry for explaining everything, but I just felt like maybe any info would be helpful for people to give me advice in any area. Thanks for listening! By the way, for the last 2 months I have been snorting these after I found online that it works faster and stronger- just in case anyone needs this info to give advice.

[chronicmistake]

Long story short, you are exhibiting addict behavior.  Just because you are not going through WD does not mean your not addicted physically or psychologically.  Why are you taking other peoples medications with your Sub?  Please get help and i really think right now you are in the denial phase.  We are all here for you and will help you along the way if that is what you want?  Good Luck!!

[bmdad]

The reason you are probably not in withdrawals yet is because of the subs long half life. Its half life is around 36 hours. It builds up in your system. So lets say you took a total of 8mgs of sub yesterday. 36 hours later you would still have 4 mgs of sub in your system. If you then took another 8 mgs of sub you would now have 12 mgs total of sub in your system. Usually withdrawals from sub will start 3 or 4 days after your last dose. Even a very small amount of sub, say 2mgs, will prevent most withdrawals.
It does not sound like you are ready to get clean. Most people start suboxone because they had failed numerous times trying to taper or going cold turkey. It's not just some magic pill. You have to want it and you have to do the work to keep from using. If you are still feeling the urge to abuse other pills you may need to talk to your doctor about adjusting your dose. The way you keep switching back and forth is pointless. The sub is going to block most of the effects. You have to be careful or else you are gonna end up throwing yourself in to precipitated withdrawals.
You may want to put the sub down until you are truly ready to get and stay clean. Have you talked to your doctor or counselor about how you have been switching back and forth? You really need to get it out on the table. Also in a sub program they will usually drug test you every now and then. If you come up positive for other substances they can and will kick you out of the program and that often leads right back to the hectic life of abusing pills.
Once last thing, you asked if you were addicted or not. Addiction doesn't just have to do with whether or not you have withdrawals. Only you know if you are an addict or not but if you were taking them to make you feel better mentally then you are an addict. If you weren't an addict you would be switching back and forth between sub and the other pills. You would have the willpower to stay away from them. As addicts we have no willpower when it comes to not using.
Do yourself a favor and talk to your doctor and counselor about what has been going on. They are there to help.

Brian

[vicki595]

Here's what I think:  Stay on this path !!   Go to the meetings and get support. Don't go back to the Sub.  You will probably start withdrawal soon (Sub has a long half life) so just push through!!

In my opinion,you don't need more OPIATES to get off the ones you are abusing.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Suboxone is used so that you can establish a clean living life style.
What do you think you are doing by taking OxyS?!!!!!!!!
My read on you is that you are acting unwisely. Until you are honest with yourself about your addiction. You will continue on this course.
Never treat addiction lightly. It WILL bite you.

Having said that, do some soul seeking. You can overcome this addiction. It is worth it.

[opiohelp82]

Yes I am on a counseling program 4 times a week NA meetings. It's not that I wasn't serious about getting clean, I am still going to  follow through with my program, I just had a bad judgment call 2 days ago and have already gotten rid of the temptation (OC's) and told my friend not to give them to me, so now I have no other choice but to do this the right way as I never have and never will buy from the street....I don't even know where I would go to buy off the street as I don't know a single drug dealer! I have been attending all meetings and doing all the right things but I don't understand why I am not in withdraws at this point? Usually I would be ready to puke by now, but there is just nothing?! Am I still addicted? If I don't have any symptoms of w/d and for some magical reason I don't get any withdraws, I will continue the counseling/NA program that I started last week. It IS really helping me even-though I did stumble a few days ago, I will get back up and follow this through.

[IBKleen]

When you started the Suboxone program, what was your intention? Did the doctor start you on a counseling program as well? I ask this because it doesn't seem that you are doing the program correctly nor does it seem that you really want to get clean. Just taking the pill is not going to do it.

You are playing with fire and I am concerned for you.