Anxiety was too overwhelming

[Pat1956100]

I am totally exhausted from not sleeping much but thought I had a handle on not worrying about it.  Out of the blue a major panic attack hits me.  I tried to breathe through it but it was too much.  I went down and got 3- 5mg percs off my tenant.  I took one and waited but the anxiety didn't subside.  I took the other one and finally had some relief.  Now that the anxiety is gone, I am in shock that I did that.  I can't believe that after all I have been through and all the agony that I have blown it.  I didn't feel good from the percs.  I still felt sick and have a major headache but it did relieve the anxiety.  Now I just feel like crying.  I thought I had it under control and I just feel so weak and discouraged.  I don't even have a desire to take that 3rd pill.  Now what????  

[Pat1956100]

Thanks, you were one of the people on my list that I felt I had let down.  I just didn't see it coming.  
My mother lives by "Giving it to God".  She is an amazing woman and has lost 2 children and still has strong faith.  She was definitely on the list but I am not going to tell her.  She would be so worried.  
Thanks for your great advice and I am going to do just that.  Still haven't slept in over 30 hours but the sun is up and it's a new day.

[ribs2k]

Pat, I agree with everyone. It is part of getting away from these pills. You are still strong and can beat this. I am not a particularly spiritual man, but someone told me something that seemed to work. He told me to give the addiction to god. I said WHAT? he said you can't do it alone, tell god it's his deal now and don't worry about it. It seemed to work for me, just a different mind set. I can't do it, so when I gave it to him it's not my problem anymore. For whatever that is worth.

[wransomejr]

I've heard you need to watch the caffine intake. They are all right. Water under the bridge. If it makes you feel any better I blew my taper yesterday so I would feel more comfortable and enjoy my last day before this really set in.

Gnarly is right. I worked so hard to get clean from Tramadol last year and it was WORK. It never got as bad as my fear, but still...work. Forget you took those two pills. Flush the other or take it but GET RID OF IT, and then start over. Going to N/A is hard. I work in the church, I'm openly gay, and pride myself on acceptance of diversity. Still there were a wide variety of people from those just like me to people that made my problems seem miniscule to people that looked scary. But they all have one thing in common and it can really be the tie that binds. I went to meetings several weeks while tapering and I needed to talk, but that ask "if you have used today just listen and talk to a leader afterward." You don't have to say anything, but you can't join a discussion. But I plan on making meetings part of my regular activity once I get this next week over with.

Guarding your sobriety is so important. Pat it is important enough to tell your tenant to move if you have to. You suddenly need to remodel. You may actually need help for anxiety and need to be on the proper medication for it. But work with a doctor who understands your addiction and is compassionate and will find something that helps. Getting back on the merry go round isn't the answer and it can happen in the wink of an eye so "guard up" as they say.  Pulling for you always...and your friend.
-Randy

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

lol love to sing to ya mate the coke might well have huni not sure i take valerion root too help me me sleep i think they help with anxiety try utter huni ur a true pure soul stay strong huni k mwah xoxoxoxo

[tjstaats]

I was in your shoes 3-weeks ago after 6 days of rehab, call thge doctor got 90 more pills.

Start over, yesterday was hell for me llke you, you know the pain we go through and that how many times do we need to be thrown down the stairs before we know what pain it causes

we are all here for each other, see you on the other side,  

Remember, when you leave the top step of hell heaven is right on the other side

[Pat1956100]

I am wondering if the diet coke I drank today set my anxiety off.  I used to drink a ton of it but have been sticking with gatorade while withdrawing.  I had a few glasses of coke today.  Who knows?  I think I will go back to gatorade.  My whole system is totally crazy.  Nothing works anymore for sleep, percocets make me sick and diet coke may give me anxiety.