Day 1. kinda freaking out.

[Ashelen]

Took my last 5mg today...I'm in withdrawal at the moment. I feel pretty good, but I know it's gonna get bad. I took one 5mg pill yesterday afternoon and then nothing until this afternoon and I was panicking. My husband didn't realize I was so upset but I was going insane inside. not because I was craving or anything but I just felt so scared....I know it's my body playing with my mind and I'm still completely determined, but omg...the panic is getting to me.

I took nyquil last night and slept like a baby. I figure I'll use it to sleep through the first few nights and then switch to using melatonin and valarian root after the acute withdrawals are gone....I have some L-glutamine and 5HTP - effective?

Also...if RLS wakes me up tonight, can I take the hyland's even though I plan to take nyquil?

thanks guys..a little panicky right now but determined..and mad as h$ll.

[FourChickens]

How are you doing girl?  Did you enjoy the 1st week in your new home? how exciting to have this new start.  I started a new job a week after I quit these pills... and its helped me immensly. Just like moving in to a new home, you are getting a fesh start.  Cant wait to hear how you are feeling. You must be feeling on top of the world about now :-) Keep us updated.

[dominosarah]

Dont worry about what is next....Remember to just stay in the day.

Congrats on 5 days!!!  You are over the hump now.  Enjoy the new house, just dont over do it or you will discover muscles you had no idea you had!!!

[Ashelen]

Well 4 days done...starting day 5 and I feel *almost* normal again. not really any lingering effects other than a sense of feeling disconnected. glad we spent the night in our new house last night because another tornado took aim at our rental this morning...SO over the stress of these storms right now!

Anyway just wanted to share...very pleased so far with how this whole thing is going, but like everyone I wonder - what's next for me? lots of pain in my lower back last night, but took some ibuprofen and fell asleep without anything to aid me...that's 3 nights in a row without nyquil, so yay :-).

[mellie4]

Enjoy your night in your new house!!

[Ashelen]

Thanks guys so much...I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still hanging in there and I won't be back on until tomorrow sometime because we're staying at the new house tonight and we don't have internet - oh what will I do? maybe decorate, hee hee! :-) but seriously - if anyone needs to talk to me message and I will respond as soon as I can tomorrow.

all the ladies (and gentlemen) i have been speaking to...you can do it...I've listened to every single one of you and I wouldn't have wasted my time giving support if I didn't believe you could do it...so remember to stay strong and you can do this. I've always hated that phrase, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but it really applies...imagine how strong we will all be on the other side of this!

have a great evening all...and hang in there <3

-Ivy

[stonecoldwwe]

It's great hearing things are looking up for you.. It gives me a since of relief knowing things will get better.

Two hrs into day 4- I feel pretty good. Only issue today so far was my back hurt really bad. But i'd rather deal with that than continue on with pills...
And I'm going to have to force myself to get up and do something.

Keep up the great work.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 4 days!!!  This is so awesome!!  Keep it going~~~sara

[mellie4]

YAY for Day 4!!!  Good point on trying to remember if things get bad again you'll get back to where you are at the moment.  I'm actually feeling the best today (aside from the pain) than I have in the past week or two.  But I'm anxious about the medication change that I'll start later today.  I'm going to try to remember that, IF and WHEN things do get worse, that I will get back to where I am now and more importantly, will eventually be off everything completely and will feel even better than I'm feeling right now.

Wow, you've done tons of stuff before the move but at least you'll be feeling better for the actual move itself.

[cleaninitup]

thats great!!!! and glad to hear also your turning that corner of feeling better-everyday now you should start to feel better and better!! yahoo :) Heather

[Ashelen]

Nobody seems to be around today but I've finished 3 days..starting day 4..feeling better, and totally optimistic!

[Ashelen]

you know what...? I actually feel pretty "normal" right now....not really any side effects except I'm very fatigued and my eyes are watery....but other than that....I feel good. I can DEFINITELY see the light at the end of the tunnel now..even if I get bad again, knowing that I'll get back to where I am right now eventually is going to be enough for me.

this is good! :-)

[Ashelen]

Thanks Mellie...actually, we haven't even MOVED yet...we've just spent this week painting, replacing carpets, ripping everything out of the bathrooms and kitchen, and fixing things like busted electrical outlets and stuff...luckily we're all very handy but it's been rough...

however in some ways I think it's kept me sane..when you're so exhausted and sick and sore from working all day you almost don't notice the withdrawals, lol...the worst has been the chills and the nausea when I'm at the house working, it's whenI get home and sit down that my muscles start spasming and hurting and I start feeling squirrelly....

but almost there, right? a few more hours until the dreaded Day 3 is over with...I'm pretending like the worst is over. if it's not, I'll deal with it when it comes, but if it is - phew. lol

[mellie4]

Way to go!!!  It's great you're sleeping.  I'm getting very little sleep with the taper.  And I am VERY irritable.  I keep trying to stay in the day and not get discouraged about how much farther I have to go.  I can't believe you did this while watching 2 babies AND moving!!!

[Ashelen]

thanks guys! I slept all night again (woke up early but that's OK) without taking anything...definitely the least comfortable day for me. but around noon day 3 will be over and day 4 beginning and LORD I hope I'm on the upswing...I feel pretty good this morning, still uncomfortable...a little more depressed...but I know I'm emerging out the other side of all of this, so I'm keeping my spirits up. We're spending our first night in our new house tonight, so I've got that to look forward to :-)

you guys are amazing, I couldn't do this without!

and petro - my hydration has been pretty good...i made the mistake of downing a big bottle of gatorade before bed so I was peeing all night, lol

[petroglyph54]

You are most likely more than 1/2 way though the physical part of wd'ing. This stuff is  pretty sneaky though. It seemed to me at the time, I have the perfect pain for my type of meds [oxy]. I knew very well that if I took a pill it would bring me the exact relief I needed. But,after reading here long enough I respected what the "old timer's" had to say about rebound pain, and gave it more time. I endured plenty with just the otc's except for day 13, which was rediculous pain. It was 4am after days without sleep and I felt like I gave in, the med worked and the next day I was back at abstaining. You know your body best, if it's the stone's, you will do what's necessary, but just trying to warn you of the rebound pain, it's real, the drugs are sneaky. I'm sure you are knowledgeable about stone's. I'm sure there's more to know. I think if we are lucky most things can be cured nutritionally, certainly not everything. It just never works fast enough. Is your body having to process something different than usual? How's your hydration? You are doing great.

[10356]

Hi Ashelen.. Day 3 is hard for most so you are not alone ! with the amount you were taking in another day our 2 you will be feeling a easing of the wd symptoms.. although sleep may be elusive for a lil and your energy down You can combat this with staying busy throughout the day.. I know as a mom you are anyway :) You are doing so well If you can get out and take a walk in the evening by yourself our if you have a dog to walk all the better :) It does much for putting our thoughts into perspective and more for the symptoms.. You are Freeing more then your physical self you are freeing your emotions.. Who you really are. Your family may be taken back with who emerges as you may be :) I know I was.. Keep a positive attitude and do not look back for soon you will not remember why you were taking these pills everyday .. lesa

[FourChickens]

You got this.... your doing great.

[mellie4]

I'm so proud of you.  Fear is a big hurdle for most people, I think.  I know it is for me.  And I get the perfection thing, too.  I was like that when my kids were little.  I let it go a bit after my last baby.  He was sick and things couldn't be perfect because I needed to put him first.

I'm glad your pain (other than the kidneys) doesn't seem to be flaring out of control.  I hope you don't need surgery.  Keep up the good work ... you're really inspiring.

[Ashelen]

ouch, yikes! Day 3 definitely has been the worst so far....itchy/creepy/annoying sensation in every part of my body...and the worst thing about this is, I think my kidneys are acting up - they've been hurting for about a week and a half and that either means nothing or it means stones...but I'm not goin to go get pain meds unless I end up needing surgery again. yuck. hoping that's not the case.

really not as happy right now, but I can totally do this...another few days and it's over. i've GOT to be at least halfway.....ready to be done :-).

[stonecoldwwe]

Ashlene,

that's a great point...So I guess you and I are both on day 3... that felt good!!

Keep up the great work...

[Dav125]

Being silly is a great sign...:)

[dominosarah]

Yes, you are counting days now!!!  Music is always good for the soul!!  Dont worry about tomorrow, just stay in the day~~

[Ashelen]

Bless you guys for your support...it means the absolute world to me. Correct me if I'm wrong but 48 hours = 2 days clean, beginning of day 3? because that's how I'm counting it, LOL - I could be wrong, but I think you're giving yourself a day less credit, T!

still doing really well...listening to music. any time I start to feel "squirrelly" (best way to describe it) I crank up a good song and sing at the top of my lungs..my daughter dances, my son gives me weird looks...life is good, lol.

Hope I'm still saying this tomorrow and the day after :-)

[stonecoldwwe]

Ashlene, I too am so proud of you!!
You sound like you're doing well.

I'm doing pretty good. Just took a BC for pain.. Not bad at all.
I really don't have any symptoms right now besides not sleeping the last 2 nights.

I just hit my 48 hrs w/o any hydro. That's pretty big for me. Now I'm just really worried about what day 3 (tomorrow around 11am) will bring...

Can't wait to hear how you made out on day 3. Good Luck and know I'm thinking of you.

T