Day 1 oxycontin withdrawal

[HarperOC]

Today is day one off oxycontin. I was snorting about 5 80's a day. I want to stop so badly. It is painful to type this right now but my body hurts so bad, my eyes are so watery, my legs wont stop twitching, i am sweating and so hot and then freezing cold the next second. My stomach hurts so bad I think I might throw up at any second. But I want to get through this so badly. I know this is just the drug trying to keep me using, I need to get through these WD's I want to have a real life and actually live my life not just watch it go by. Noone knows I am detoxing and I cant really tell anyone, I just want to go back to ym old self and be there for the people in my life and stop causing them so much pain. Is there anything I can do to help with the anxiety i feel like im about to have a panic attack. Also im just wondering about aftercare, what is the best form of aftercare people have done? Thanks for anyone that may take the time to read this and to everyone on here that makes this forum happen it is really inspiring to read your comments and stories, it gives me some hope through all this.

[HarperOC]

Thank u for the comments. I have been trying not to use, its been  2 days since I used last, (this being the second day). I am upset with myself. I felt bad to keep posting because i said all this stuff of how bad i wanted to be sober, and then used twice, I jsut felt lame and like my word means nothing. I do want to be sober still, each day is very difficult and I think about getting high a lot during the day. The nights are the worst I think. I am trying now to just worry about the day I am in, but its like I will be feeling fine then all the sudden the craving just sneaks up on me and before i even no it im in my car driving to get one or someones coming over with it. Its like i dont even put up a fight. Is this crazy?

[yelapa]

Hey HarperOC. Everyone on this board has had setbacks. There are two things we all know: You will never fail if you keep trying. You can never quit forever, just for this minute, this hour, this day...

Also, there is no reason to be ashamed. This is darned difficult. We all respect you and we are all with you, even if you falter. No one will ever scold or disrespect you here (or we'd all be all over them like you know what!). To the contrary, we see a little bit of us in you and your posts are inspiring--even if they don't all bring cheery news.

[tgtiffany]

She's amazing right Tigerlily?!!  I don't know why, but I just know that she is.  

How are you doing today HarperOC?  I hope better, even if it's just a little.  Keep posting posting posting like you were before, it will help you!!!!

[tigerlily11]

Harper!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG Honey, I know you feel bad, but its ok. Please get up and dust yourself off and try again! This is not my first time coming off these either, and dear I have relapsed too many times to count. But its ok, I heard somewhere its not how many times you fall down, all that really matters is that you get back up one more time than you fell down! Im here for you, Im keeping you in my prayers, please send me a message if you need to talk! Like tiff said I soooo wish I had your number I would call you right now! I feel like I know you and I know you are SOOO WORTH THIS!!!! Get back up and try again!!!

[tgtiffany]

Keep your head up girl.  There's lots of people here who have screwed up TEN times before they actually got clean.  You can do this, just get back up.  Did you change your phone number?  You have to be stronger than the addiction.  When you're feeling depressed and down like you want to use distract yourself, stay on here and post.  Last night you disappeared before I posted, I was thinking "da mn i wish I had her phone number I would soooo call her right now!"  You CAN do this.  Stop letting your mind talk you out of it.  You say you don't know what to do, just keep going.  Start again, and keep going until you succeed!  Maybe write a letter to the pills like Tigerlily did ( i think that's who it was?) Did you make goals?  Like Gnarly always says you have to be proactive !! You can do this Harper!!!

[Devonlee]

You screwed up again? What did you do exactly? Been reading your posts and I see your struggle....