Day 19 and I'm having a really rough time.

[thewaz]

Maybe it's the lack of sleep getting to me.  Yesterday was a productive, fun and good day.  But the sleep still eludes me.  I've been up all night.  My anxiety is through the roof.  When it's this bad, I take half a Xanax but I do not want to go there. I've done the treadmill (at 2 am), I've watered my entire garden (at 5 am in my pjs), I've written two huge reports for the meetings I'll be in most of today.  Yet my heart feels like it could jump out of my chest.  I know my BP is way up.  The tummy problems are back in full force and I'm out of Immodium (CVS soon).  And the truth of it is..if there was a pill  here to take, I'm feeling so weak I would probably take it.  Hence the reason we can't have ANY around us or available to us.  I know I'll get through today once I'm in "meeting mode".  But I'm so weak - mentally and physically.

Two years ago I landed in Vegas for a week long conference.  Didn't feel good and woke up that first night with a raging fever and never so sick in my life.  Seriously.  Two days later I was worse and my boss (who was also in town) called a doctor to the room because I couldn't even get out of bed.  Seems I had contracted the H1N1 virus.  I spent the next week quarntined in my room.  IN VEGAS no less.  No one was allowed in except the doc and there were even instructions on how to dispose of my linens, etc.  When I finally got the all clear to go home (over a week later) I never thought I would make it to the airport let alone the flight.  It took at least 10 days to get my strength back even though the symptoms were all gone.  It had destroyed me.  This is like that and I keep reminding myself this is really worse because I'm coming off an addiction and my body is not the least bit pleased.  Just need to get through today.   I will.  Tomorrow I see Magic Mary who will hypnotize me and calm me and then Friday, my doctor who had to cancel on me last week.  I would give anything right now for a good chunk of shut-eye.  I'll be gone most of today but I'm thinking about all of you. Holding you close to me.  so much love..waz

[Sonrissa]

Bones! Do you mean the post from smjlost85??? If so, I just commented to her! I don't see anything from an smj26! Let me know, I want to make sure I covered it! Thanks!

[bb454]

I have been taking ambien for sleep..a 20 millogram pill only kept me asleep for 3 hours..amazing .

[KMK523]

I just read what you wrote and commented back!! Thanks for the love!!

[Bones216]

I am good, going through cabin fever sitting around. Not bad symptoms today, which is great considering it's day four. I see we are neighbors kind of, I'm a port Huron guy. Hang in ttheir you are doing great.
Going to outside to get some nice MI air.
If I can call on you please read the post from smj26? From earlier today. She is very similar to me, and needs your help, along with Dix, Sonrissa, induced etc...
You will sleep again I promise!!!!!!!!
joe

[thewaz]

I just commented on your post about that.  How awesome is THIS NEWS?  Crazy proud of you.

[KMK523]

Waz...glad to hear things are better today!! Proud if you!!! Since you were the first to chew me out about the pills being in the house I wanted you to know they are all GONE!!!! Don't know where and don't care!!! Thanks for the tough love :)