Drugs.Is any come back possible ?

[IndeedSick]

I did drugs like amphetamine,cocaine,weed for 3 years.I lost everything I had and jumped off the roof and broken my both legs.Had many surgery's.Treated for depression, paroxetine and antipsychotics like risperidone and quetepinum. I'm clean now for 3.5 years,but I feel so dead.I'm not crying anymore,can't feel joy, not interested in anything and can't feel myself.I don't have any supportive peoples around me who can understand my suffering.At least 1-2 times a month I want to hang my self and I think about hanging my self like about dinner with no emotions.

[10356]

Greetings IndeedSick. It sounds like you have been thru a lot. Your brain takes a long time to heal especially from speed. Going from Superman to ordinary person is pretty daunting it leaves one feeling apathetic. Nature is my cure Outside Sunshine walks forced a lot of them, forced but none the less Needed and Enjoyed once out.. It sounds like you are seeing someone if not you may want to. It helped me. I also do not know if you are attending meetings like AA NA but it would be a start if you are not. The support would be good for you. We all need it. I hope you stay read what others go thru so you realize you are not alone in your journey. I wish you well. lesa

[IndeedSick]

It sucks how 1 mistake can destroy everything u had.It takes even your soul, and recovery ? Hmm 3 years on drugs and 3.5 years clean its 6.5 years wasted already and can't see any better coming.Worst part no one understands this, only the peoples who gone through this.The world i see now is not worth to be living, I will get into meetings, but this will be my last try i think.Anyway then the day to die comes I will die with smile, whats how I hate the world I'm living in.

[jifmoc]

Indeed, so glad you will go into meetings. I believe everyone would feel like you after drugs if they had no recovery. Go to meetings and share this!

[jifmoc]

Also, go back to a shrink. Sounds like you may need to be medicated w/ the RIGHT meds. Get help from all angles.

[dominosarah]

You have been thru alot and there is hope.  Force yourself to go outside and soak up some sun.  Are you taking any vitamins?  Check out some AA/NA meetings or make an appt with a therapist.  Many times after we clean up we expect life to just change and everything will be great.  That isnt the case.  We have to go out and find what makes us happy.  We also have to deal with the demons that roam around in our head.  I hope you stick around and let us know how you are doing~

[jifmoc]

Oh jeez. I assume you know that you need to be in meetings right? If not, get thee to NA/AA immediately. I don't even have the words to express how much that will help you. I would be evaluated by a shrink too. Stick around. Peeps are here to help.