Need advice for kicking norco

[EA1975]

I have been taking norco for about 10 years. At first it started just as fun, then to get through work, then just to deal with life. Before I knew it I was taking 16 a day. A few years ago I tapered down a lot and now just take 4 a day.
I got married to a wonderful man and he has no idea that I'm taking norco. I feel like I'm robbing him of being a good wife and being dishonest by not telling him, but I don't want to burden him either! His ex was a alcoholic and his daughter also had a norco problem so why would I want to hurt him if I can do this on my own...right?

I made the decision last night that I am going to taper down every week by a half pill. So I'm guessing by my math it will take me 2 months to do this. Every week I have a reminder set on my phone to make sure I do this with also a message of encouragement to keep me on track as to WHY I have to do this!
If anyone has any suggestions, tricks or stories for a easy withdrawal I'm all ears!!

I have no one to talk to and share this with, so I'm hoping someone here will take a few minutes to help me

Thank you

[EA1975]

Great advice! I can use the pms, and the not sleeping well because I do get a little bitchy when that happens lol
I will start taking my vitamins in the morning instead of the afternoon and maybe that will trick my brain.
This will definatley be a test of character and self control for me but I know I can do this!

[YesLife4Me]

I was able to dusguise it as having flu symptoms while going through detox.  The rest I had to work real hard at not letting my emotions get in the way when they were all over the place.  Sometimes I could say I was just tired, had a rough day, pms, etc.  I was recently diagnosed with fribromyalgia and so now he thinks that was part of the reason I was 'off'.   You just have to steel yourself to not let your problem become theirs.  Its actually a good lesson in self control...lol.

After a few days you start to not miss that morning pill, especially once you start to feel better after wd.  Start taking your vitamins in place of it and develop a new habit.  :)  

[EA1975]

I know exactly what you mean by getting your morning going with that pill.
That's the one thing I keep thinking about over and over again, because that's the first thing I do to get my day going!! It's going to be tough to break that cycle and I'm very scared. I have been married for 4 years, and I can't tell you how awful and ashamed I feel for not being honest. He deserves a honest and sober wife.
So you were able to do the same thing I'm trying to do? Not telling your significant other? And still able to hide your symptoms? If thats the case you gave me SO MUCH HOPE!!! I just need to spare this poor man anymore anguish and stress

[EA1975]

Thanks for the info about covering my tracks. So your doing the slow taper too? I have done so much reading about this, and it is the best way to keep withdrawals at a minimum. Lets definatley keep each other posted, you and I seem so much alike in how we are taking the steps to get off these nasty pills.
I'm here if you need me too...

[YesLife4Me]

I clear my cache's at the end of every day.  History, cookies, etc.  

[EA1975]

My husband is the type of person I could tell, he would be very supportive. However, I know he would blame himself, or think it was something he did no matter what I tell him ( honestly its is nothing he did at all). His daughter did take norco, and tapered of with Suboxone, but shes 22 years old and didnt live at home so he never saw the withdrawl symptoms. He also has another older child with severe emotional problems wanting to kill himself, and is a heavy drug user. My husband has a demanding job that is consistant stress.
With all these factors in his life I cant be that straw that broke the camels back. So I rather try to deal with this on my own than further hurt my husband and put more stress on him.
When I look into that mans eyes and everything he has, and is still going through, I just cant bring myself to tell him. However, if I am unsuccessful at taking that last step I know I will have to tell him. I have found great support here, and Im hoping its enough! I know we all have different outlooks and stories, but its comforting to know there is a sense of community and support here without judgment.

Thank you Jordan10013, yeslife4me, fourjays, evolveru for you imput and support, it truely means the world!!!

[Jordan10013]

The decision to involve others is a big one. So too is WHO you reach out to, if anyone.

It reads like you have really thought this out and have your reasons for keeping this from anyone.

By the way, a BIG step in getting clean is coming in here and engaging in "true confessions."

With that in mind, if you intend to keep all this secret, be very careful which computer you are using to visit pages like this. And I would scrub your tracks so the curious are not able to see where you have been.

Do not ever use workplace computers to hang around in here. (Frightening statistic: About 60% of employers in the U.S. use software that logs your computer activity. I know this because I followed some civil cases challenging an employer monitoring workplace computers... the employees lost the cases, all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court. Bottom line: It is the employer's computer; the employer can secretly monitor anything an employee is doing with the equipment.) I digress.

To scrub my tracks (including so Google and scammers do not harvest my information), I use a free program called CleanUP

Note: I am really curious how YOUR plan works out, especially the days following your last pill. In return I will keep you updated on how my battle goes and experiences. (We might end up colliding paths since your "end date" is probably about the same as mine. What's that saying "Misery loves company." Then again, I might end up calling it quits, so to speak, at the end of March and see how it goes with the WD experience.)

[YesLife4Me]

I am a big proponent of telling those who you want to involve in your recovery.  I believe choosing who you want involved is just as important as who you don't want involved.  We don't know the dynamics of each other's relationships offline.  My biggest fear would be to encourage someone to tell their spouse and find out it damaged their relationship.  If you think it would, then don't tell them.  Working together will make it challenging at times as you lower your dose, come off, w/d and post w/d and he may or may not notice?  I did not involve my significant other for reasons similar to yours. Nor did I really involve anyone else for that matter, but it makes it much harder when you have physical and emotional ups and downs after the initial detox to not be able to blame it on recovery.  I did choose to find a meeting I could attend without having to lie where I was during my lunch break and having someone there physically cheering me on does help.  

Even being a 'light' user for years, together you have 10 years of total using of the Norco.  I am hoping you can just walk away and say 'it was nothing' like Jordan says with some mild emotional stuff afterwards.  I truly wish you the best.  

[Jordan10013]

Since no one in my life knows about my norco addiction, I can relate to you not wanting to tell anyone, especially your husband. If that's how you feel, then don't tell your husband. What others would do in your situation is not relevant to YOUR decision.

I think of it this way: Have you ever been in a relationship where some of your friends don't approve of whom your are dating, for whatever reason. When they say things like "I don't know what you see in that guy, you should stop seeing him, there's better people out there..." did you break up with that person because of how your friends felt? Of course not. That's because it is YOUR relationship, YOUR feelings, YOUR thought processes, what others think of YOUR relationship is irrelevant.

IMO the same thing goes for who does and does not know about your addiction, and whether or not you choose to enlist your husbands or others support. Only you know whether that's needed for successfully getting clean, only you know what his reaction would be to the revelation you are an addict. (By the way, I would label you a "light abuser.")

You also have stated facts that tell me you have thoroughly thought out your plan, as far as whether or not to burden your husband, and/or enlist his support. Given his and his daughter's history I have to wonder if you being "the clean one" has given him motivation to not do anything to disappoint you. If so, it seems to me that confessing you are a Norco abuser would destroy his morale and set him down a wrong path.

That's somewhat where I am at. Everyone whom I might have asked for support would certainly help me, but they would look at me differently. Right now everyone thinks I have no weaknesses.

Lastly, on support, from your words you have indicated an ability to discipline yourself and follow through on your plan. In other words, IMO it does not look like you need someone in-person to hold you up. IMO places like this will be sufficient to get you through the process.

In regards to the plan you have described, that almost mirrors mine, except I won't be running out of pills. (That makes my situation the ultimate test, resisting those da#n refills.Sidenote: I am not going to call my doctor, confess I am an abuser so he cuts me off. As I said before, I want to get clean on my own terms. If I can diminish the WD symptoms, I'm all in on that concept.)

From what I have read on the Net, the plan you have outlined sounds doable, and people have posted that after a long taper they experienced minimal WD discomfort. But keep in mind we are all different. And a lot of what we go through is mental. That old saying comes to mind: "prepare for the worst, hope for the best."

Yes, start now taking vitamins, especially magnesium (that deals with the shakes). And if you don't already, start working out so your body is fit when physically battling WD symptoms.

I would set aside a holiday weekend for you to start day two of the WD period (day one is manageable, even when functioning at work or about town). You can use a long holiday weekend to "catch the flu" and go through the worst of it. (Note: going through WD looks as if you have a flu).

Finally, I have read varying accounts on how severe or minimal WD symptoms are when one tapers like you are describing. Some people said "it was nothing, I simply walked away from the pills" to where others say "It was still just as bad as if I went cold turkey."

I am doing the same as you. Frankly, the way things are going I would be surprised if I suffered severe WD symptoms (certainly not like I suffered when my addiction was 12 Norco daily and I ran out of pills three days before refill day. Matter of fact, it was the last time that happened that motivated me to get clean, but go slow instead of CT).

[YesLife4Me]

Just wanted to finish my thought about relapse:  Cravings and boredom are common relapse triggers for newly recovering addicts.  Those that have clean time like the poster that had 18 months, usually that comes from not doing the things we did to get and stay clean.  When your life revolves around the pills for years like that, it takes alot of hard work to change how we deal with life while undergoing physical and emotional changes.  And sometimes that means looking at 'why' we started them and stayed on them for so long.  Was there an emotional issue in your past that you are suppressing, is it a coping system, etc?   That's where outside support comes in.  Since you say you work together, I don't know how you are going to get around all this without him wondering what's going on with you.   You will have all our support though and that's helpful, but not enough.  Please think about the advice you have been given.   And keep posting back as you progress.

[YesLife4Me]

I'm very impressed also that you were able to go from that high of a dose to where you are at now and stay at it for a few years.  I could never do that.  If the pills were around I wanted to take them.  Although I had a limit of 10 of the 10x325 a day for about 5 years.  I varied between 4 and 10.  Much of my addiction was fueled by pain, but I also enjoyed the buzz and energy.  In the end I was taking them for those reason plus I wanted to avoid withdraw.  But I took any kind of opiate to avoid or get out of withdraw or when I just couldn't handle trying to live without them.  Mornings were the worst since that dose was the one that got me going!

As far as withdraw symptoms go, I'm sure yours will be minimal compared to someone just stopping.  It really depends on what and how much one was taking when they stopped.  However, I hate to tell you this, but there is no way to completely avoid all withdraw symptoms.  You just can't keep feeding pills to your body and brain for 10 years and then take them away, even if you taper.  It would have to be a much longer taper than you are on now.  The pills change our brain chemistry and it takes a long time for our brains to heal after we stop the pills.  

Here are some of the withdraw symptoms of someone withdrawing from opiates.  Keep in mind that you may not experience all of these or very mild versions.  

Nausea
Diarrhea
Runny Nose
Watery Eyes
Yawning
Chills
Aches
Headache
Anxiety
Restless Legs
Sleeplessness
Lack of or No Energy

The lack of sleep, anxiety and no energy are withdraw symptoms that continue for days or weeks for most.  The Thomas Recipe comes in handy to help alleviate most symptoms, but like I said, there is no way to completely avoid them.  

I just want you to be prepared for the long haul.  I too thought if I could just put down the pills, feel icky for a few days, then I will be alright.  The mental torture is the hardest.  My mind kept thinking about and craving taking just one pill.  Maybe a friend had one, etc.  Next thing you know, I found some and I was back on the merry go round.  Cravings is a big cause of relapse, but the biggest reason is that we can't handle to so called boredom of our new life without the buzz.  Our brains are foggy, no energy, we are tired, feel down one day, up the next, etc.   This is why others ask if you can tell your hubby because you will need the emotional support if you don't have a group or someone to turn to.  How long have you been together?  

[FourJays]

Hello - and welcome!  It is amazing that you have been able to taper down from 16-18 pills a day to four - and have stayed at this dose for a few years.  It does show VERY strong resolve on your part and your taper plan sounds great.

I wonder too though, as mentioned by Evolver, how you will endure the detox symptoms without your husband knowing.  Are you sure you cant talk to him about it?  You mentioned that his daughter has a problem with Norco also; how much does he know about addiction and/or has he seen her during a withdrawal or detox or anything like that?  Do you think he will suspect things IF/when YOU show any physical and/or psychological signs of withdrawal?  Hopefully you will not have a bad detox, and tapering slowly like you have will help a lot I am sure.  

Whatever you decide, you will ALWAYS have support here and will never be judged about how or when you are doing this - NEVER; we have all either been there, are doing it now or are contemplating it.  Everyone is different and what matters is that you ARE doing it . . . and doing it well I must say!  Good luck . . . and keep posting your progress ok?

[EvolverU]

Hi & Congrats on your decision & on coming here!

                     As Jay5 says fear is a lie but more fundamentally 'a lie is a lie'. I would be stunned if you could go through the inevitable physical & psychological hurdles of detox w/o your husband noticing. Also, if you don't come clean to him it makes relapsing so much easier. You need a support system. How do you think he would react if you told him?

                               All good things to you both

[EA1975]

Thanks again for posting scottscott1973 and jay five. I'm starting my next taper on Thursday so it will be 3 1/2
It's all I think about everyday, every minute is how am I going to take that last step in the end? I have been doing these things for 10 years and never once have I not taken these things!  This will be my first withdrawal and I just want to know what to expect and how I will feel  ( thank you both for answering that )
I went down from 16-18 pills to 4 pills and was able to stay on just taking 4 pills for years. So I know I have the discipline to not let myself slip and start taking more.
I know I have to do this and when I'm down to my last 1/2 my husband will be away on a business trip so this is the perfect time.
I really value each and every opinion and experience. This info has been extremely valuable. Hang in there Scottscott1973 your doing great!!!
.

[JayFive]

fear is lie. with support and prayer you are stronger than this drug. you will be an overcomer and a victor. you are doing so good and you will continue to fight the good fight. when times get tough, its ok. when times get good, even for a minute, smile and rejoice. laugh dance sing, whatever! people are here for u.

[JayFive]

relapse is something i feel no one can quite explain. basically one is doing something in which they wish not to do, yet do it anyway. from a sober person this is insanity. and from someone that relapses, it truly is. I say all this to give you the understanding that there is no real reason for someone to relapse besides chasing a feeling that they remember. basically, when an addict relapses, he/she is choosing that for that particular moment the benefits of the drug outweigh the negative, or atleast they are willing to deal with the consequences later, or lastly, and in my case, just don't care.

I've taken drug and alcohol counseling courses in college. worked as a counselor and mentor. helped many people free themselves and yet i've relapsed about 10 times after having some serious time clean and sober. each time however, the relapses are getting shorter and less life controlling. i still have my job, my money, my friends and family.

the key in the whole thing is community, fellowship, support and accountability. that is your ticket to staying clean. each time i relapse i'm not staying accountable to anyone on a daily basis. when you are in community with others you stay accountable as well as get an accurate understanding of what relapse means. when you're alone, your thoughts will get the best of you and lie to you.

good luck and stay strong.

[scottscott1973]

Sorry my post are written bad 6 in the morning,withdrawls and galaxy s3

[scottscott1973]

Hi ea i just woke up to day 7 day 6 kindof reverted back to day 4 for me,i got alittle sleep but woke up feeling very run down i made myself go to the gym and swim with my daughter and i sat in the hot tub ,i left there with a tense neck and headache odly enough i can feel how my body and mind do not know how to deal anymore,but 2 advil and a melitonin plus but an hour nap relaxed me and got rid of the pain ,,i think i completly crashed from know sleep im not fighting the no sleep part im trying to mke the being awake part managable,ive been at work all week and had to put on a pretty face and the rehab monster energy drinks were the ticket one wgen i woke up and one around 2 got me through the day. For me i analyze everything and going thru this **** and not sleeping ive had alot of time to think,,you need to keep in your mind why your here this is you against you not a pill they dont jump in your mouth,we do and did this to ourselves ,bottom line we have tricked our body and mind into thinking they can shut down and the pill will take care of everything,we are playing a waiting game ,waiting for our mind to wake back up and get back to work for me i dont want to take anything for pain or to stop the suffering ,i have had to but my mind set is dont yoor going to be living minute to minute one minute you fine the next will be i can fix this so easy and start tomorrow that is where you relaps i had to get mad,on night 1-2 i took 1 peace of a zanex bar i got 5 bars to get me thru this but night 2 came to think if i want my mind to wake up numbing it with zanex is puting my back time in my mind waking up plus i hate zanex,if i want to relax i take melitonin if i hurt i take advil ,,we are not just adicted to hydro we are also adicted to apap wich is in everything but advil,,advil doesnt feed that part of our addiction to me if you take a norco,split it up you have hydro and tylenol if you feed one side of your craving it makes wanting the part your missing more intense,,but thats just in my head it makes since to me back to the point pain isnt going to be your problem your going to be your problem get mad get reved up you have to want it or you wont make it,im mad i hate what i am now i hate that i have put off what i wanted to do in life for years and just waited for my next pill, remember when you want a pill its you telling you not your pain its all in your head when you need to put on a pretty face do what you have to but the pain and fatiuge that im going thru and you will go thru will help keep you off in the future if you dont remember pain in your withdraw you have no reason not to relaps because there isnt a down side ,,,im here for you and everyone ,,,,pissed off but winning lol

[EA1975]

Hey Scottscott1973 if you don't mind me asking what was your pain like? Is it anything that Motrin 800 could help with? I know some people don't agree but I plan on taking a half of Xanax if things get real bad, but it would be a last resort. The crappy thing is I have to work while going through w/d and the REAL problem is I work with my husband, so I don't know what's going to happen!

[EA1975]

Hi JayFive thanks for taking the time to share some advice. I have a question though. I hear about so many people on here say they relapsed. What makes people relapse? Why did you if you don't mind me asking? I have no more access to anymore norcos once I taper down so I'm extremely nervous and scared of w/d

[scottscott1973]

I was taking 5 10/325 5-6 times a day i taperd with no plan to quit just wanted to be healthyer in my adiction,at this very moment im on day 6 its 5 in the morning i just tonight got 6 hours of sleep my body is tense,alittle shaky but im in a great mood. I took my last pill last sunday at 3 in the afternoon i have been dosing like you for the past few months and i can tell you if you can make it about 4-6 days your golden your not me but its got to be pretty close as we dosed the same fyi monster energy drinks. Orange called rehab did great for me ,,your not going to sleep anyway ,at our dose tapernis a copp out now that im living it its mental now you can take the 4-5 days of pain good luck

[JayFive]

U need support. Check out aa. Find a time in the week where you won't have to explain where you are or lie. Start getting to know other people and build strength that way. I have quit norco, oxycodone, methadone, fentynal and many other opiated. I had 18 months clean and relapsed. I'm now tapering off of methadone. I too need to find some support because looking forward to getting lower in the amount is crucial. Attitude is huge in quitting opiates because there is such a physical part to it as well. Good luck.

[Jimmy1975]

Hi EA , I wouldn't say mood swings so much as anxiety and depression . Anxiety was worse during the daytime and subsided at night . This lasted about two months but got better with everyday that went by starting about a week after I stopped . I got away with the anxiety attacks because I have G.E.D. to begin with so I was able to play it off like I was just going threw a bad period of anxiety . You can do this trust me my friend ! It is sooooooo worth it and the good thing is your brain will heal with time . If you can find someone you can trust then so much the better . If not you always have all us here as this is a wonderful place for support and comfort ..  Jimmy

[EA1975]

Hi Jimmy1975 thanks for sharing your story with me. When you said 4 days what physical effects did it have on you? How were you feeling afterwards did you get depressed or have mood swings? I just want to know and prepare for what's to come. Quite frankly I'm scared and scared that I won't be able to pull this off by myself.
Thanks!