Fiance has been using Oxycontin for 9 months

[concernedfiance]

I just found out last week that my fiance has been snorting oxycontin for the last 8-9 months. I found out because he was lying and I accused him of having an affair with a coworker. She told me the truth that they were not sleeping together, but were snorting oxycontins a few times a month. After he was "caught" he told me that he would do it sometimes 3 times a day, but would detox for a week or so. He says he does this only when it's available to him  (he was selling them to the coworker). Obviously I am not a fool, but we have a child together and I want to believe him that he has stopped. He went through withdrawl these last few days (July 15th was his last time) and seems to be ok now. I am concerned that since I did not notice this before that I would not recognize this if he went back to using. We are waiting to get some help, whether pyshcologically or from medication (if he is depressed or anxious or something) so that is a bonus that he wants to get help, but I am still trying to understand this addiction. I am not into drugs and have never been this "close" to any of them or any addicts. Is there symptoms or behaviours...anything that I can "catch" to free my mind from distrust right now, when the thought of him away from me is making me question him?

[lovemypillhead]

wow! I COMMEND U.  calling a wedding off is not easy. hang in there. id love to lie to you and tell u it gets easier but it doesnt. it does if your bf quits. but, what i hate is....the feeling of no trust.  i mean, i hate it.  i look at my bf and i think how much i love him and how i would do anything for him (and have)....and then i think to myself how much i want to believe him. i even think to myself "ok, if he were doing that again....and if i dont know.....does it hurt me".  i know that is stupid thinking but i think it at times. but then i imagine him snorting that garbage and it makes my head pound and makes my heart rush.  

we have a little crack in the bathroom molding and i swear i saw him doing it.  but as my previous post said, he'd deny it.  

we just had a baby 3.5 months ago as well.  he really really wants to get married....i do too...........but not like this.  actually, this is the ONLY thing we fight about.  we spend a ton of time together, get along wonderfully, never cheat, never even drink a drink without each other.............we really are a great couple.....but man, these oxy's cause problems.

it is the trust. i feel as tho i can put him in a room with 18 hookers and i know he would never even look at them out of respect for me.  

but, if i put him in a room with a pill.....

[rue10]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.  You are EXTREMELY strong and SMART to follow your gut and postpone such an anticipated event.  I give you credit for taking the necessary steps to preserve your well being.

If all goes well, it will have been just a delay.  If it doesn't you've probably saved yourself and your child from a lifetime of pain and anguish.  

Please keep us posted on your bf's progress.  We're pulling for you both!

Blessings.

[concernedfiance]

Update:

I postponed our Wedding last week. It was a very hard decision to make but I felt that I wasn't happy to be going through with it right now. I do still love him and we have a child together, but I want our Wedding day to be fun, not shrouded in doubt and pain.

My fiance is going to a place called Adapt for an assessment, but that's not till sep. Atleast he is making an effort, and that's all I've asked of him right now.

I believe that he used about 2 weeks ago, but since then hasn't done any...or at least none that I could tell.

I'm finding though that I am very depressed about everything and so I'm trying to deal with my depression....

Thank you for all the posts and information to look for, I really appreciate it!

[liscamdave]

Well, most people when on Oxy's have pinpoint pupils. They look like little tiny dots. And some will scratch uncontrollably. It all depends on the person though. Both myself and my husband were addicted to Oxy's. ANd you could not tell whatsoever that I took them. But he was totally transparant to me. He would dip out and literally fall asleep sitting up. His words words would slur. So everyone is different.

Is he still working with this woman? I mean that is strange in itself. I would be careful, just like an affair, if she is going to be around him still, it is going to he hard for him to avoid temtation .And addicts love company. So if they were partners in their addiction and still work together, odds are one will talk the other into doing it again.

[lovemypillhead]

i want to give u so much credit for being honest and stopping this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE addiction.  granted, it is for u but u said "i mainly stopped because of my girlfriend and she doesnt even know".  i love that statement because i kinda feel that way.  tho if u read my long post above, i think i already know.  but still.....the fact that u reconize all of this and that ur gf doesnt deserve this is wonderful.  if possible, pls read my post above......am i loosing my mind in thinking he is snorting?

[lovemypillhead]

hey!  so, first let me say i am reading all these post and am so happy this site is here. time for my story!  (i feel for u because i am in the same boat but i think i have more info about pills than you so it may not be as hard for me to detect)------when i met my boyfriend, a year and a half ago, he was "clean" from oxy's for about a year.  He snorted anywhere from one 80mg a day to 240mg a day (so 3 80mg's). And, the only reason he didnt always do 240mg a day was because he wouldnt be able to find that many at the time. (he never had a prescription....he bought them on the streets.) when i met him, he was honest with me about his past. fast foward, a little.....here and there he wanted some vicodin.....maybe some percocet......then he found someone who had the patch.....then found a little oxy~i was actually cool if he took pills.  Not alot of course.  And absolutely NO SNORTING.  Why?  Because #1) as u said earlier.....the image I see in my head of him snorting anything just makes me want to cry and #2) Snorting pills makes them more addictive.  Did u know snorting oxy's is WORSE than doing heroin?  Oh, the research I have done! (There is a special on HBO all about opiates which was amazing) So, like i said----i was cool. He does suffer fromhorrible stomach aliments....and has no med insurance so i know he is in pain, i know pain killers help him, i dont want him "suffering" but i also said things would be done MY WAY. I guess that was my way of "controlling" the situation. Recently tho, i have began to wonder if he is back to snorting them.  Little things he does...for example (i am giving you some inside heads up tips here)...he will go in the bathroom, lock the door, turn the shower on but never come out wet. He seems to be in too bad of withdrawl on the days he doesnt have pills (sweating, cant sleep, throwing up, no motivation, etc). He has been going to his cousin's house more frequently (she snorts them...hell, she'd snort advil if it was infront of her).  And, the other day---this was my personal favorite----i went in his bathroom....i ran my hand across the counter and guess what?  A white powdery sustance was on my hand!  And, there was a magazine insert card folded in half....i ran my hand down the crease and again....guess what?  A white powdery substance, again!!!!  I go downstairs and GO O-F-F! Of course he denied it. He made up some bs about how when he broke some vicodin in half and he used that magazine card to "push all the pwder together" to clean it up.  Honestly, i cant tell u what he said for sure becasue i didnt listen because it is a lie. I am not stupid.  We got into it last night. Like i told him...."Just because i havent been going off daily, hourly--doesnt mean i believe ur stupid stories. It just means I have been too exaushted to fight." And, unless I have a signed affidavit, blood sample, retina scan and video of him doing it...he will deny it (i am, of course, being sarcastic....but u get the point).  And, he rolls his eyes at me when i bring it up.  Thing is this:----------because he has  a bad history of it and because of little things i have been noticing, i do think he is back to doing that. I told him it is over if he does that.  I have a right to date someone who DOESNT put s*it up their nose.  Just like he has a right to date whomever he wants.  It is so expensive of a habit. (FYI----oxy's go for $1.00 a milligram pill.....so, if your guy buys a 40mg pill....just ONE pill....he paid $40 for that one pill.....and 40mg are the most abused.  There are 10mg, 20mg, 40mg and 80mg. There are also 160mg but those are not legal in the US but they are in Canada.  I suppose it is possible he got a good deal on them but oxy's are so in demand and abused that a seller of them KNOWS if he doesnt wanna pay a buck a mg, someone will.  So, trust me....he is spending (or was spending) loads and loads of money.  

On one hand, this post is to help u by letting u know that u are not alone.  I do think my guy is snorting them.  I just havent "caught him" literally....in the act yet. It is to also help u by giving you some other things to look for (white powdery substance, etc). And, in a way....im posting to get advice too! I do love my boyfriend SO MUCH. There is nothing i wouldnt do for him. --o yeah, and for the sex....when they are pilled up, their stamina is LOOOOONG.  That is a big big change. They can go forever and a day.

I am sure I will think of more things to send to you!

Oh, about a year ago.....he got on Suboxone which is a pill they use to medically detox u from opiates.  It worked AWESOME. He had energy, he had ZERO cravings , he was happy.  It was like how he was on oxy. The ONLY reason he quit was we couldnt afford it.  Like i said, he has no insurance....so it was about $400 a week (where we live) between the pills, counseling, drug tests, etc.  Methadone--------that is used to get people off opiates as well.  it is usually for "poorer income". Around here, we only have one place that gives methadone....and u have to be an IV user....which he is not.  I guess he could lie and say he is...but he doesnt have track marks.