Getting Busted, a Blessing in Disguise.

[lesson_learned]

evening. Last week I got a blessing in disguise, I'd been abusing vicodin since last fall. Getting 3 refills a month. I came up with every excuse to keep taking them as directed. Then some a$$clown suggested I crush them to get a stronger effect, me being an addict,did so. Well, I got busted the FIRST time I did it. As I said, it was for the best. Doc will no longer prescribe narcotic classed drugs to me-ever. Said I broke my narcotic agreement, which pretty much black lists me from getting narcotics anywhere, ever in my life. Hopefully I won't ever need them for something serious, now that I've gone and been a fool, and screwed everything up. >:(
I'm angry at myself. Can't believe I was so weak.

She referred me to a substance abuse doctor, who called me and interviewed me. I'm having such a hard time. This discontinuance occurred three days before I was due for a refill. So I split them up into 5's from 10's. I've been sneezing, unable to sleep long, diarrhea,body aches, my injury seems to hurt 3x worse. But this is for the best. I'm not making excuses anymore. It's so easy to wrap up addiction into a pretty little package...and yet so hard to see it for what it *really* is. I wish I was strong...on Thursday, at 12pm I will take my last dose of Vicodin, hopefully ever. I see this substance doctor on Friday at 3:30pm -well- into withdrawals. I'm scared..like anyone else. I don't even know how to live sober. I set up an apt with a substance abuse councilor but I don't see them until Aug10th. I hope I can post here for support. I know I screwed up, so I don't need any hard talk, just need some support so I stay on the right path. I can't sleep either =( I heard Effexor is good for the anxiety and even pain relief.  I'm kinda moody, find myself crying at the drop of a hat....I gotta get through this. Help. I'm an addict, and I f*ked up. Big Time. ="(

[Ballgame]

With my pain I don't think I'll ever fully stop. I'm tapering down because I felt it was time since I was taking way more than I should then have to cut way back so I didn't run out before next apt. I'm additiced no doubt.  And they help with pain, but 2-3 days each month I'd be out and get wd. Tired of that routine. So I'm following you Lesson in hopes I can feel good again.  I have your thread bookmarked on my iPhone.  Try to chk in once a day at least.

How many days clean and how do you feel?  The sub helping?  

[lesson_learned]

That is ok kiki, dust your knees and get back up to give another try. You've got friends here, what happened? *hugs* I was tempted today too got hit in the chin with a damn baseball >:(

[dominosarah]

What happened?

[kiki003]

Hey, Lesson.  I am sad to say that I have stumbled.  Back to Day 1.......prescribed dosage, here we go again....

[lesson_learned]

that I turned in my bottle of vicodin to the pharm. The wd's are being managed. It's been since Friday 2am I've not had a vicodin.

[Ballgame]

What did you decide?
How is the wd?