Bee, I could sniff out a Percocet from beneath a pile of dog cocky. This is what they mean when they say "addiction is for life". Its only two weeks for you. Addiction is a mental battle that you must resolve to win. The enemy is never far. As time goes on, you learn to walk around the dog cocky instead of straight into it. Eventually, you learn how to walk down another block. Its ok. Stay focused. Eyes on the prize.
So you guys remember the fiasco with my sister right? Well I drove her to Kroger to pick up some groceries today. I dropped her off and waited in my car for her. So I see her coming out and I drive up to get her. She opens the front door and throws a prescription bag on the seat (WHAAATTTT??!!) and then goes to put her groceries in the trunk. I got this crazy feeling throughout my whole body; kinda like it was vibrating!! I jumped, well maybe not JUMPED, but very quickly got out of the car and proceeded to STERNLY, well maybe not sternly but emphatically asked her (maybe TOLD her) to get that Percocet off of my front seat!! She started laughing again! So I knew something was up. She told me the prescription was for omeprazole, her stomach medicine!! She said she knows she can never put any narcotics any where near me, not even close enough that I can smell them!! Well I have to say that I was pretty good at seeing and finding them, but I have to say I was never able to "sniff any out!!!" But seriously, what worries me is that vibrating "rush" feeling I had just from seeing the prescription bag!! I don't know, maybe medicine bottles/prescription bags are triggers? Any thoughts? Comments? Am I CRAZY??!! Thoughts and comments on that also welcome. ;0)
BEE
Day 13!!!!! Still having bathroom issues. But my GI doctor said that the obstruction from last month has caused a serious flare up of my irritable bowel syndrome and colitis. So I think my stomach is giving me the double whammy!! :o/ Still eating pretty much bland food. How do you not think of "the pills" when there is so much pain? Tylenol doesn't do much and I can't take any NSAIDS, like Ibuprofen, Aleve, Aspirin. None of that!!! Right now I am laying in bed with the heating pad on my stomach and ice on my back!! Listening to this freight train I sleep with every night!!! LOL for 39 years!!! Anyway I'm still struggling with the energy/desire to do anything!! I'm making myself do things every day but boy is it ever hard! All of these other health issues definitely don't help any. But my GUARD IS UP, and just trying to take it one day at a time. Thank you all for listening and caring!! BEE
Processing your emotions about the whole deal at your sisters is important, but don't spend too much time reading the old chapter(s) of your life because it will prevent you from writing this NEW chapter!!
I don't know what day you're on, but let us know how you're feeling TODAY, ok? You are turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones....and that's IMPORTANT!! Let us hear from you when can~
Hey girl. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilt or shame. This seriously could be any one of us, new or with lots of time. But when you are new, it is very hard to resist the temptation to snoop. The main and most important thing is that you are back on the boat. Each mistake we make in life is positive because is a learning experience. Your are making tremendous changes and unfortunately it doesn't happen overnight. Keep moving ahead and looking forward and never look back. Today you are clean. Focus on that, sleep, repeat. It will get better soon. I will leave you with my favorite quote by IBK, "One is too many, and 1000 is never enough" Love and blessings, Msd
Hey MsD. Feeling a little down today. Even though my episode with my sister turned out to be very beneficial, lesson learned, that same old shame factor finds it's way back. But at least I understand that there is no reason to feel ashamed. It will pass. For some reason I think the trigger was just looking in her medicine cabinet and seeing prescription bottles. That sounds stupid but I remember the "rush" feeling. I just need to keep my nose out of everyone's business!!!! Still having lots of "bathroom" issues but as you recommend I am drinking drinking drinking. Mostly Gatorade and cranapple juice. I'm a weird one. I have a hard time swallowing water. But I think I'm fine with what I'm drinking. Thanks for caring and having my back. Love, Deb