I know EXACTLY how you feel. But the fact that you are posting and stuff means you must want help, even just a little. DOnt stop coming on here and dont be hard on yourself if you got more. You can turn it around. I am in the same position but I know that we have to believe we are better tahn all of this and not let the addiction win. As long as you are trying to get better, you are doing the right thing.
kris,
Glad to see you on again, even if it was for a short time.
Please talk to us, even if you did get more. It can change your life.
Friend999
Do not lose hope. Keep posting.