I want a pill so bad!!!!

[NikNikBass]

I really don't think I can do this!!! I want a pill so bad right now. I'm about to just go get um & say f*** it!!!! I dnt know what to do w/ myself. I've not even went a full day w/o not taking a half. I can't do this ****!!!!

[SLadylani]

But you are doing it at this very moment! Even if you only did it for that moment, or a half a day, you know you can do it for that long, so you know you can do it. It's just one moment at a time, and many of those moments make up a day. And those days make up a week. And it does get better with time and recovery, that I promise. I remember at one point in my addiction I thought I couldn't go a moment without using. I was pacing, sitting up, standing, lying down, in/out of the shower, I couldn't hold still. I would drive to a meeting for 5 minutes and then leave, and then drive back to another one. I was staying clean about a third of the day in between this. For me, it got to a point where I had to remove myself from that situation so I could prevent myself from using. I made a decision to not use, and from that point on made using impossible and inaccessible to myself. And I did that for some time and it worked. And today I have 4 years, 1 month, 29 days clean, live my life in recovery as best I can, and have a life that I can live today. The obsession to use is gone, I can actually do things I want to do today, and do the things I get to do, not the things my addiction forces me to do. I love how you are able to vent and say how you feel, thats the strength that it will take to be in reocvery. You can do this, despite what you may think. You can do this, just know that someone out there has faith i you, and beleives in you :)

Sara RN

[Richda]

Hey just breath and relax, maybe a shower? Some tea? I assure you the pill isn't going to answer your problem, and it won't help your husband. I don't want to get on the soap box but you really just got to relax, you can do this. Some parts are really hard but when its over and all of it is done you will be so much better off.  Try and find something you can do to take your mind off the pills, read(even though its hard to concentrate, focus on concentrating), watch some funny videos on youtube(can never under value the comedy that is a guy getting hit in the balls), listen to some music.. anything but the pills ok.... You are stronger than them.

[NikNikBass]

Hey guys, this is my 2nd day w/ a half of a ten & a friend of mine was going to loan me some till I go to the Dr...blah blah.....well my husband is going through this whole ordeal w/ me......he is an addict too but he's acting like its no big deal to him & its kinda pissin me off & almost making me want it more. Kinda makes me feel less than or something.....hell I dnt even know. I'm not even in full wd yet since I've had half today....I feel pretty crappy & extremely on edge & the tightness in my chest tellin me to go get the pills is unbearable!!!! Thanks for advice I really need it.

[throwindatowl]

You will just delay the inevitable. Why do you want them. How will you feel tomorrow when you wake up? Like sh----ttt. Dont do it. I know how you feel and theres been times when I shouldve come on here and posted what you just did. I relapsed. I was ashamed. It was never worth the buzz ever. How much you gonna spend? Can you afford it? BE strong. I know its hard. I know. Think about tomorrow.

[Back2Me]

Are you quitting? In the middle of quitting? In withdrawals? Do you have any clean days and having cravings? I think we need more info.