I'm addicted badly to snorting wellbutrin sr and cant stop.

[Bunny569]

I have become addicted badly to wellbutrin sr and I want to stop and  cant. Has anyone else been through this too?

[alexasalterations]

I'm addicted to crushing and snorting my Buproprion. Yeah, it's an “upper,” or, a stimulant. It isn't quite as intense as coke, but the high lasts longer and the comedown is easier. Just... DON'T start if you haven't started!!! Please!
I'm surprised that there isn't any actual professional medical or social work help in this particular thread. medhelp.com? help! I wish that a professional would chime in and give us a few pointers or first steps to take for quitting...

Like, okay, obviously: the first step is probably the ER, detox, and then inpatient treatment. My problem is: I AM in treatment. (Actually, to be clear, I graduated from inpatient and now live in transitional housing.)

Anyway...So, my doctor took me off of Buproprion 300 mg and didn't taper me off. He said it shouldn't be a problem and that I wouldn't have withdrawls because Buproprion isn't a physically addictive substance. (Cough, BULL ****, in my humble opinion. And, seriously? Since when do doctors not taper patients off of high doses on antidepressants?) And so, that left me on my own to take it upon myself to try to taper myself off on my own (because it just felt like the right thing to do). I did well at first. I split the pills in half and snorted half a day.  Then I split them into quarters, but that's where the problem was. It wasn't enough and it wasn't comfortable. I needed to feel more awake and alive. So I used a little bit more... which turned into a little bit more than that.. (see, THERE'S the addict behavior, RIGHT THERE – Taking more than necessary/prescribed/planned. I saw the relapse coming a million miles away.) those few little lines from this morning turned into fat lines on the bottom edge of my laptop's keyboard...which leads me to where I am now... It's 4:37 AM. (Yeah... AM.) I've been wired (and doing lines) all night. I don't know how to stop myself. (and now I'm screwed because I'm just about out of my pills and I'm going to crash off of them again in about 3 days... sigghhh.) Yeah, the whole tapering myself off on my own thing went over well. ...not. God help me, it is so hard not to binge! Like, I don't think that there's anything else in the world that is harder to do than to overcome addiction and stay sober for the rest of your life. (That's the goal. I want to be that old lady at Cocaine Anonymous picking up her 28 year sobriety chip.)

I digress. Now, I'm panicked. I've gone through five pills in the last 5 or so hours and I've got tremors and my chest feels heavy... I think I need to get my butt over to the ER or at least UrgentCare, like, right the f**k now. I don't think that my life is on the line... I mean, okay. So, once upon a time, I overdosed on coke. How I'm feeling now is about how I felt once I had gotten about halfway through my 3.5g stash (I finished all but like, a half a gram before I'd overdosed.) So I think I'm okay. I reeeeeally hoping that I can just come down from this and not die or have to go to the ER at all. (I f*kin hate the ER.)

So here's my personal dilemma... I'm like a month away from graduating from my rehab program. I play the perfect picture of recovery role in group therapy and individual therapy (of course I talk about other sh*t I'm dealing with) and I just keep my little secret all to myself. Nobody knows, nobody needs to know. I run to the bathroom between group therapy sessions, get high, and nobody knows. In fact, I get compliments on my attitude and mood. (Go figure.)
Here I am, perfect shining example of sobriety girl with 10 months sober, just over 300 days clean (from coke, meth and alcohol!) over here needs medical attention, but If I call a life coach to come and get me and take me to get said medical attention (I don't have a car, and the busses don't run at this time of night), I'd be outing my perfect little secret, and I might be kicked out of the program, which means dire consequences. Like, losing my family and living on the street consequences. (And I'm not exaggerating. I've asked all of my parents what they would do if I left this program and they all said that they'd disown me.) Not to mention, I'd lose my pride and my reputation. I'd hate to disappoint my family, my darling little younger siblings who know that their sister is an addict but love me anyway... and all of the girls and all of the staff in this program, as well as ALL of mom's facebook friends (Smh, she likes to share quite a bit about my recovery online. But maybe it might be embarrassing to say that her kid is now on the streets, so I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing like 2k people.)
Ugh. Why would I even care if like, 2k people that I don't even really know or remember are disappointed in me? (Ugh. Because it would make my mom upset. D***nit.)

So here I sit, in my bed, trying to come down, still looking at my last pill, googling stuff like seratonin syndrome, trying to figure out if my heart is about to explode! Breathing, aligning my chakras and focusing on my heart chakra... also, wondering if my lymph nodes and sinuses are ever going to heal... trying to figure out why my nose f*kng whistles when I breathe... Oh, God help me, it's hilarious, but so horrible...  I think I may have a deviated septum... Wondering how to spend the rest of my awake time tonight before I go to group therapy and act like everything is okay...looking at my last pill (longingly) and praying to find help online.  

Funny thing is, I'm dating a therapist. I could tell him all of this and he could help me, but I don't want him to know that I've relapsed so terribly. I don't want him to tell me  that it would be a good idea to come clean with my (actual) therapist about my relapse. And I don't want to disappoint him, either. (also, I'd really rather not have him play the therapist card on me.)

I feel scared, upset, pissed off at myself, worried, nervous, and terrified...

Looks like I not only need medical help, but therapy. Just, like, Validation. Do any of you get me? Like, do you understand what I'm going through here? Are my feelings valid?

This was a really good outlet for me. I've come down quite a bit. I feel quite a bit better. It's now 5:42 AM, and I've realized that typing kept me from using for about an hour! I think I'll start keeping a typed journal.

I'd love feedback from anyone who actually took the time to read this. If you read it, thank you for caring. :) Maybe we can start a support group based on our addiction to using this stuff.  

[spider6]

Alexasalterations .....you still around?

[Slotherina]

I know it’s been over a year but I just stumbled on this dealing with my own self-medicating shame spiral and read your whole thing and feel you on so many levels. Hope you’re doing better <3

If you see this, would love to learn more about your journey and if you got those chakras aligned :)

Kat
***@****

[Cap4Jes]

Addict behavior, taking more than necessary, hard not to binge, these are all very true statements. You are very much aware of your problem. Recovering addicts are by far the strongest people for sure!! I just want to tell you that you need to be honest with everyone because then you'll be held accountable. Times come when you NEED that person!! Accountability is everything to keep a recovering addict going in the right direction because with addicts (at least with me) it's almost more of a game of -  Can I get away with it? Don't get me wrong...the highs great! And why do drugs carry so much glamor? It's wrong naughty fun illegal dangerous plus it numbs us from our past pains. And this is also appealing for some reason. But you say your sisters know.. of course they do! They always will. They watch and learn from you. Very likely one or both of them will follow your example with addiction. And your children… well, that's even worse because then you're gonna come to a point to where you'll find urself lieing to your own children who know better or be honest with them and let them grow up with a drug addicted mother. And if you lie and think u got away with, realize you're going to leave them wondering if they know what they know and that's gonna mess with their minds which is going to lead them to problems too. There's nothing worse than wondering if you're crazy or different or wrong because you feel like you don't think right but you know that you do. That's what you're going to be doing to your children's minds. You've already lost your pride and reputation… with yourself! Who cares if others still have pride and rep for your fake self??! It take a strong person to be humble and face the band to stay clean. You need close relationships with people and if you do this on your own you will rob yourself of the pride and pleasure those people would give you. You need honesty so the right people will be there with you to hold you accountable. Don't get separated from your wolfpack. When u do that you're all alone and then your prey for anything and vulnerable to any attack. And it's times like this that we need our wolfpack! Open up..no matter what..and trust God has something better in store for u...cuz he does!!

[Bamame]

Hello
I know this is an Old Post and I'm just wondering did everyone make it through their ordeal in life. As I read this post I think of what my son went through and I actually wrote on this post a year ago I believe that I thought you were just pulling our leg, and this wasn't a fact but it is real. I'm just hoping everyone came out of this alive. If you're around please update us. Thank you.

[hnyc2]

I've had Bupropion subscribed for 2 years, and have at times snorted it.  
Snorting Bupropion sucks, but does give a little high, but the down-sides overweigh the ups. I look at it as a last resort.
If you are snorting Bupropion on daily basis I advise you to get off it.
You risk serotonin syndrome, which is very serious.

[flyest]

forget the effects... that **** burn BAD to the point where im in tears and it hurts real bad... i felt the high but it was a BAD high due to all the pain. i have experience in snorting cocke and special K but this **** is on some next level ****... i will never try it again... HUGE mistake..

[purplewolf222]

I know someone that snorts wellbutrin and got me doing it and I hate it so I know what you are going through.Hope thing's work out for you.

[LucyBlue491]

It's weird- I think the "act" of snorting something is similar to an oral fixation, or what I often of as a need to consume something to improve how I feel.  When I quit doing coke 6 or 7 years ago, snorting Wellbutrin helped calm my cravings and soothe me.  I was taking it orally already, so snorting it in addition to my regular dosages had me hallucinating and talking incessantly and unable to sleep or feel normal.  So I quit taking it orally and have been hiding this quiet addiction for years.  

[ryguy1085]

yes.  i too am addicted to snorting Bupropion.  im a former Meth Addict and have been off meth for a year now,  my doctor has been prescribing my wellbutrin for 6 months, i found out that you can snort it for mild stimulant effects but for the past few months I have become very addicted to to it and it is a horrible thing to be hooked on when you have an addictive personality like I do.  its a compulsive, daily thing for me, snortinhttp://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Im--addicted-badly-to-snorting-wellbutrin-sr-and-cant-stop/show/1184325#g this stuff.  it is destroying my sinuses and my nose constantly needs nasal spray.  yet I cant leave it alone --  I AM NOT EVEN SURE IF THE FEELING I GET FROM IT IS TECHNICALLY A "HIGH"  that is the worst part.  When I was using methamphetamine, I was definately sure I was getting high.  I'm embarrassed about this addiction I have.  its pointless but i cant stop

[MsKing707]

I feel like I am reading my about my own life...pretty crazy, I can totally relate to wat ur going thru...I learned about snorting wellbutrin while I was in prison n I also am a recovering meth addict. I used meth for about fifteen years n I recently had enough n decided to get clean. I saw a doctor who prescribed me wellbutrin n my addict habits surfaced once again n I remembered hearing about wellbutrin in prison, commonly referred to as pharmaceutical cocaine, n my obsessive compulsive behavior took over n I gave into the urge to crush it up n snort it. I do get a little charge from it, it almost reminds me of meth, only without the central nervous system side effects. I have no excuses for my actions, I have to be accountable n own it. I do not know if I will ever be 100% right n firing on all cylinders...all we can do is try to make progress n move forward in a more positive direction although it may be that we both have seemingly taken a few steps back. Anyway, I will keep u in my thoughts n hope ur working thru it...do not beat urself up cuz for sure u r not alone.