Is there anyone as "bad" as me?

[noonenos]

Is there anyone here addicted as bad as me? I have lied to EVERYONE, I have stolen, from work, from my husbands wallet our bank account. I have stolen pills, I am ready to stop, I need to stop I HAVE TO STOP! My husband finally forced me to be honest.He had no idea! I feel ashamed, guilty, sad, tired, mostly RELIEVED! No more hiding, lying, stealing, He was/ is a recovering alcoholic. He is being SO supportive. I am happy to be starting to get clean, I know  I can do it, I'm kind of pissed if I would have know he was gonna help, I would have told him a long time ago!!! But one day at a time...... the crappy part is, as honest as I have been I haven't been 100% honest. I know I need to be & I think I will. I just need to figure some stuff out. Is there anyone who can help me help myself?

[chloe33]

Yep me too. I feel like a piece of crap.

[Cris718]

Thanks Vicki!!

[vicki595]

Cris~    LMN01   "Sleepless in St. Paul"

[vicki595]

Cris~  I don't remember!  I have to look...it was a post on someone else's thread...
I think it begins with "L'    LOL

[Cris718]

Where's that thread at??  How is she doing??

Cris~

[vicki595]

Okay...you did start your own thread!!

Do you want to talk more about that doctor's visit?

[Cris718]

Yes....I lied, and stole with my addiction.  It's truly frightening what these pills can turn you into.  But, sounds like to me you have taken the first step......trying to get clean.

But saying and doing it are 2 different things.  But it sounds to me you REALLY are sick of all of it, and that's where you need to be (mind set wise)  

Your very lucky that your husband is being so supportive, that is SO SO SO important.  You're already ahead of the game in the aspect that you have a real person to rely on, many people here don't have that.  It's probably a good thing is a recovering addict himself, it might be why he's being so supportive, because he understands.

My question to you is, how many do you have left?  because you first need to get rid of them if your serious.  Now ......I took all mine.....got busted...then got clean.  Not a smart route, but whatever leads you to starting the process.....the better.


Get started as soon as possible.  As you take a look around on the forum, your going to start to see some of the devistation that these pills can do if you continue down that path.  Your never to FAR gone...that you can't turn around and take a different path.  And YOU CAN....but it's how bad you want it.

We're here for you (for encouragement, advice, venting, whatever you need)

Blessings
Cris~

[ashamedman]

you are not alone. i also have lied to everyone and stole from strangers and family and friends. this is a huge guilt in my life that i dont quite no how to make it right.recreational user for 5 years then found an unlimited supply and began the journey of hell. i was at peak takeing 30 perk 5s a day and 10 to 15 oxycontin 20s when i ran out of perks. i am in construction and would rummage through every house i worked on to find my so called gold nuggets. im very shameful of that. lied to ALL, i am 5 days from my last dosage and everyday gets better. i have in the last year put my home on the forclosure list. my work van almost got repo-ed put all bills in a drawer and used the bill money for my pills. lied to my wife over and over. robbed my 3 beautiful children of everything from needed close to summer camps to a good honest dad. they are young but they could tell daddy is not the same. very short with them yelling and such. its what i call pill rage. i am a good man and liked by many but i lived this secret life for so long. im not out of the woods yet only being 5 days out but damn it im on the right path. the last 4 days have been hell on earth but today im feeling better. most of the withdrawl symtoms are gone. im just now dealing with the mental guilt. this is my 4th time trying to quit. the diference this time is i have told my wife all and what a burden that was lying to such a wonderful women. and this time feels different. i have in the last 4 days been offered by 4 or 5 different people the opportunity to get more and i have told all of them dont call me anymore im done. you can do this , just lean on that man you tied your life to and he will help you . be honest, it feels so good to let that out it really does.

[tryntogetwell]

I was as bad as you if not more also. I lied to everyone I knew. I made serious finacial problems for my husband and I. Now that your husband knows he can really help you. You have already taken a huge step in the right dirrection. You can talk to us and get some help. The people on this forum really know what they are talking about. It has helped me out tremedously!

[dominosarah]

Talk to us........

[ANewLife4Me]

Well that's a huge first step - no more secrets!  As you'll see people say a lot on here on here - "Our Secrets Keep Us Sick".  That is so awesome you have the support of your husband.
As Sara asked, what and how much do you use?  Have you figured out if you are going to taper, or cold turkey?  Keep posting and you will receive a lot of help and advice :)

[dominosarah]

Welcome to the forum.  I am sara and yes i was as addicted as you and then some.  You will find a ton of support here.  What are you using?  How much?  You have your husbands support and that will help alot.  You have taken the first step by telling your husband that you have a problem.  You can get thru this~~~~~sara