Just have to get this out...Some one please help me.

[monkey231]

I am so frusterated!  I tryed to just stop....HAHAHA....that lasted till about 5:00pm today then called up a "friend" drove an hour and a half to get some Diloudeds, my body was shaking and I couldnt breath, my legs were aching and I was freezing cold but sweating....I sat in the car with my "friend" the second he gave me the pills I crushed some of them up and snorted them.....Then I sat back in the drivers seat and started thinking about my little boy.  And how earlier that day I was blowing bubbles and he was running around the room laughing and clapping his hands togeather busting the bubbles.  I dont know why I had to leave him to go get pills.  What the hell is wrong with me?  What kind of mother would rather drive an hour and a half just to buy a bunch of pills then sit at home playing with her son.  I love my son to death, but Im starting to think there is really something wrong with me.  I cant honestly say that I give my son my best, and as much as it hurts to say it, my son deserves better than me.  Its killing me.  I've been crying for hours.  I love my son, I want to give him everything.  Why did I have to leave him today over drugs?  Im not that kind of person.  I grew up with my parents always drinking and doing drugs in my house.  I swore I wouldnt be that person.  But I am.  I hate myself.  Im ruining my sons life....And the worst part is that sitting hear thinking about all this, I should throw away the pills right now, and just be done with it....But instead, Im snorting more so that I dont have to feel this way....What the hell is wrong with me?

[flmagi]

This is what to expect from cold turkey. A really bad flu, which is something you CAN deal with. Do not be afraid of it. Embrace it.
First 24 hours off the pills, you'll get the shakes, cold/hot, and very tired.
Day 2 thru 4  will probably be the worst, restless legs/body, diarrhea, full body aches, sneezing, upset stomach, crying, depression, mood swings, sleeplessness, headaches, feel like your gonna die.But you won't.
Day 5 should be a turning point where you start to feel alittle better.
The lack of sleep may continue for a while. Each day after day 5 will get better. You'll have good days and bad.  But if keep in your mind "the flu" you'll get thru it, it will pass.
During these days you will get spurts of clarity that you haven't felt in a long time. Your head will start to clear. You'll find yourself laughing again....really laughing.
Make sure you stock up on supplies before you start. Push the fluids and eat something (you may not feel like it) but it's very important. Try getting some BOOST with protein and drink 1 or 2 daily.
Try the THOMAS RECEIPE or as much of it as possible. Look under my journels for it.
And make sure you have no none of your drug of choice (doc) around.
You will be free soon and it won't be as bad as you fear.
Keep posting, we'll all be there for you every step of the way.
Now, hunker down and get it done. The real world and good life is waiting for you.

[newgirl2708]

I'm rooting for ya!!
God Bless

[GoingToMakeIt]

   Monkey, you will get there. You are now seeing the bad side of the drug. This is a good thing. Pretty soon you will have more bad things than good and it will be easy to make that decision to never use again. When i saw how it ruled my life, I hated that. When I realized that I would put drugs over my wife. I hated that. But when I realized that I couldn't function without them. I said that's it! We all have a point when we have had enough of this circus. Yours is coming.

Don't give up on yourself. You are not the awful one. The drugs are.

[cathy5841]

fear of the unknow is perfectly normal...the comforting part is it will be over in about 7 days with the worst bein day 3-5.  you can do this. you just gotta be strong.  we will help you.
cathy

[monkey231]

Ok, this is it.  Im going to quit.  I have to, its rediculous now.  Im so tired of my own ****....Im thinking coldturkey.....I've gotten alot of different advice about different ways to stop, but I have the week off of work, my dads picking my son up tomarrow night and taking him to his beachhouse for the week....No excuse not to just quit.  I have to take advantage of this week free of work and kids....Can someone tell me what Im in for if I go coldturkey?

[worried878]

I was so scared as well....you know I had armed myself up for a nuclear explosion and it was not one...sure i felt flu like for a couple days  4-5   then all got better....it was not this awful shaking and vomiting stuff i had pictured....it was very do-able