Just took my last 2 oxycodone 10/325

[nike123456]

Just popped my last 2 pills.  I am so scared about tomm :(  I been down this road a few times and know the next 5 days will be hell :(  but i finally know i need to let this drug go.  its starting to affect my family live, especially my relationship with my amazing wife.  She knows I take the pills but has no idea i been abusing  them :(  I've become a monster and i feel like I am going to lose her and my 3 beautiful kids.  I've been emotionally and mentally abusive towards her.  I been crying all day and feel like a dog for mistreating her so badly.  I pray GOD gives me the strength and courage to face this and JUST LET THESE PILLS GO.  

Been taking 8-10 pills a day for 12 months :(  

[Frogger76]

Hi!! Well, since this ain't your first rodeo, I won't tell you what to expect during detox, as I'm sure you already know. Addicts, including myself, tend to hurt the people they love most during their addiction. I used to treat complete strangers with more respect than my own husband. I think you should be honest with her, I know it's hard to do, but I think you'll feel better getting that off your chest, and she'll appreciate the honesty  sure.

I'm no expert, just a fellow addict, I've been clean 6 years.  If addiction truly is a disease, then I like to consider myself in remission, knowing that it could come back at any time. I encourage you to seek aftercare, it will also help you sort out all the feelings that seem to surface once we are clear minded. I wish you the best, and good luck!!

Sending prayers

[nike123456]

Thanks for the support fogger!

20 hours into it and this is unreal.  my back, legs arms are killing me.  my anxiety is ragging and im fighting with my wife.  I feel horrible, lost and alone.  Stuck and work too.  I all want to do is cry.

[nike123456]

Feeling like **** right now.  I do not miss this.  back, leg and entire body aching.  my feet are hot and feel like bugs are crawling up and down my legs.  Please someone remind me when this feeling will stop.  things should get better after 72 hours?

Damn percocet I love you :(

unreal how this pills changes everything.

[helplessangel]

I feel your pain. Hard to tell when it will feel better for you but when I w/d from opiates the 3rd day was always the worst. Then I went on subs and that was waaay longer. It's been about 67 days since I stopped subs and about a see from xanax. I'm not completely better mentally yet but reading posts and meetings have helped immensely. Keep strong and know it will pass. Get inspiration from the others who say it's the best thing they have done. You're definitely not alone!

[nike123456]

Thanks for the support.  I am not looking forward to the next few days :(  
i have a long weekend and im scared of hell.  I dont think i will make it this weekend.  I have a huge family function not sure how the hell im gonna make it to monday.  

[Cricketk92]

Congrats on your decision to quit!!  It is an awesome thing you are doing for yourself and your family will certainly reap the benefits of you getting clean also!  I'd say you have a few more days of feeling crappy....but it sounds like you are keeping busy even though you may not feel like doing it!  I found that staying busy and keeping my mind occupied helped more than anything!
Have you talked to your wife yet?  She is not blind and Im sure she has a good idea of your situation.  Perhaps telling her would help you get some support!  She probably knows more than you think and is just waiting for you to talk to her!!!
What are you going to do different this time?  DO you know what caused your relapse?  It would be a good idea to explore that and find some kind of support system.....  It could be AA/NA, therapy, outpatient treatment, church...whatever works for you but this is not a "Me" thing it is a "We" thing!  It is so important to have others support!!!
Keep on posting and letting us know how you are getting on!!

[nike123456]

Hello Cricket,

my wife and i talked last night.  you were right she knew exactly what was going on.  Emotionally i feel better i have her on my side but physically i feel like a dead dog.  I literally crawled out of bed this morning.  craving 30mg of percocet, but know those days are over.  

I relapsed 3 times in 2 years.  this all started after i blew my back out in 2013.  started with the hydros then upgraded to the percs.  BAD IDEA.  I must say i had some really good times with this drug, but i know it has to end or i will lose my wife and kids.  

its funny how things workout.  I never drank and im a serious hypochondriac.  ive worried about my health since i was a kid...probably 8 or 9 years old.  and here i am addicted to percs.  spent years talking about addicts and i ended up being one.  very sad and depressing.  my anxiety and depression are very high today.  work with me ppl please.

[nike123456]

today at 1:40 pm will me 48 hours.  I cant wait til monday 1:40pm i know the 4th day i will start to feel better.  this is horrible the body aches and diarrhea are crazy.  the crawling sensation up and down my legs not helping my anxiety and depression.  drinking a gallon of water today and a lot of gatorade.  i dont do well with vitamins and supplements.  duuuuun i swear

[nike123456]

just made 2 days sober.  

[nike123456]

1:43am and my legs are a mess.  I am hurting badly.  I can't take this any longer.  

[jifmoc]

If you cut ALL your contacts (dealers, friends, dr etc.) you WILL take this longer.

Immodium for the stomach, HOT bathes for legs. Hang in there. It passes, I can promise you that. Remember why you are doing this.

[qpatty]

Yes you can! Don't give up now. Get in a hot bath or just lay in the bottom of the shower with the hot water running. Find something, anything that distracts you and just keep doing it until the bad stuff passes. For me it was driving around with the music blaring. For some it is funny movies. You can get thru this.

[nike123456]

3rd day clean.  This is rough but I will get thru this

[qpatty]

You got this!

[nike123456]

Patty,

Thanks for your support.  It's been torture but I've managed.  I just hope and pray I make it to day 7.  That's my first goal.  

[nike123456]

Will I feel better tomm?

[TikkiTT]

So proud of you!   I read your post early this morning and came back, hoping you had made it through.  I don't always post but I read (for my own inspiration) and I have been pulling for you.   Every day is a little better, I think, because you recognize your strength and that is what is takes to have power over these pills.

[IBKleen]

Congratulations..keep going forward. Try not to obsess over it and become OCD like you di with the Lymphoma and HIV. Okay? You have been causing your own anxiety for many years. Relax and get through this. Get on with your life. I seriously suggest that you get into counseling. You have had so many issues over the years. I think it would be good for you to get to the bottom of your issues and learn skills to cope with your fears, etc. Again, keep going forward.

[nike123456]

You are a 100% right.  I obsess over my health at an alarming rate.  I can't even start to explain to you how many test I've had and everything always comes normal.  Hiv, lymphoma, ms,als, all types of cancers.  The pills def help with my health fears.  But I know they are affect my life now.  Plus my pain management dr  is getting very suspicious of me.  I basically know exactly what exam he will do on me and I know where to act like I have pain.  Plus Ive had 2  mris and I do have a herniated L4-L5 but the pain is nowhere near the pain I claim it is.  But walking out with 180 pills a month for $50 maDE sense I guess.  But he wants me to see a surgeon now and I think he's ready to drop me anyway just by the way he talks to me.  

[Madametay]

You can do this, I lost my three kids to dhs a few years back, I do have them now that was my rock bottom. I was hooked on pills also. I have relapsed twice. Both times I knew it was wrong. Just one pill I can handle it, well that's what I thought next day I was searching every where for more. I'm so thankful noone had anything. I'm going on a few years now and I can honestly say I don't miss any of it. I miss the energy but I'm getting older I'm not supposed to run around with bursting energy like I'm a 5 year old. I still have pain in my body but an advil fixes it. Keeping communication with your wife is a good thing she can be a rock when you feel like you have days that are hard. I wish the best for you!

[Cricketk92]

Morning!  Hope this finds you feeling a bit better!!!  I saw you mentioned your Pain Mgt Dr.  It would be best if you tell him that you are addicted to the pills.  If you have someone to fall back on to get the pills from it is much easier to relapse again! In the beginning everyone told me to cut all contacts and that is what I did!  You need to think about telling your Doc.... kind of sounds like he is a bit aware of your problem already but don't set yourself up for failure!!!  
Im so glad you talked with your wife!  Now try to find someone else to talk to...meetings, therapy etc....
Keep on posting!!!  

[Jerry198]

tell the doc the truth there are many none narcotic pain relivers that he can give you that are not addictive great job so far !!! talking to your wife was one of the best things you can do she will be in your corner when you crawl out of bed and will understand when you just stay in it.. the pills are a LIE .

[nike123456]

appreciate all the support!  almost at day 4.  its been a rough weekend but i am staying strong and positive.  RLS is better but my anxiety is very high at his point.  I guess that why i loved the pills...they control my anxiety and made me feel happier...but the pills were a big lie.  At work struggling.  Check back in at 1:40pm.  that will be 4 days no percs

[oxyaddy]

good for u bud. just remember....if u relapse all the pain you.ve been thru will all be for naught....and the next time u get the cajones to quit it will be worse....viscous cycle only you can break that cycle....I speak from experience...i'm on day 4 but determined this time...stay strong....throw all pills and dealers numbers away if you are really serious, god bless ya