Need An Answer. PLEASE Help.

[hiskidd]

Hi all. I'm in living hell right now. It's my fault. I went through the hell of wds at Christmas, made it 41 days, then back on for a week, then off 20 days, now on for the last 3 months at 60-90mgs at day.

My wife is due with our 4th baby. She has a due date of July 9.

I took my last Oxy Mon, July 4 at 1045am. It's only been a couple of days but I'm in hell. I can hear in her voice and tell in her eyes that maybe she thinks this is not the right time to quit. But she doesn't want to come out and say this. It's not her fault, it's mine.

If I don't try to stop now, I won't have another gap of time until Christmas - 6 months from now. What do you think?

I'm WDing hard.

David

[RainyDay75]

Hi David, I came across your posts and wanted to offer my support. I am also in the process of withdrawal, which probably hasn't started yet, but as of today, I will be clean. I can relate to some of the pain and anguish that come across in your posts. Please stay strong. God bless.

[hiskidd]

Thanks. Knowing I'm not feeling well makes sense. I'll take any help I can get for now...

Still waiting for our baby.

[ImDONENoMore]

Hey David - just remind yourself that you're going to have to be okay with NOT being okay for a while (we can thank gnarly for that one)!

I found it easier (if it's possible for withdrawal to be "easier") when I just accepted the fact that I was going to feel rotten for a while.  And believe it or not, that mindset helped.  I think the more you prepare for the "worst" the easier it will be on you both physically and mentally as usually the anticipation and fear of something is worse than the actual event.

I have faith in you and I KNOW you can do this!!  Keep going - it will get better.  :)

[LeaAnn807]

Wow!  I just read this, and you're gonna be fine!  

I figured out one thing for sure through my years of addiction and constant WDing....there is NO good time to do it.  I guess there is no bad time either???   It's gotta be done or die using.  It's that simple.

You can do this!!! :)

[hiskidd]

Hi guys. Yesterday, I had a terrible noon to about 5. Then i forced myself to take my family out to get fast food. it was a longer drive than expected, and by the time it was over i felt better (something about the brain synapsis at work???) IDK. I then had an ok night. Was able to get on the treadmill for 11 minutes, and then watched the rest of Lincoln Lawyer and then all of The Adjustment Bureau.

The night was bad. Took a couple of otc sleeping pills and I was till up at 3:30. Then got some off and on sleep until 8. So now I feel pretty limp. Praying, praying, praying the anxiety doesn't overwhelm me. I have zero desire to get on the treadmill, but I may try later.

Sigh...

[new2thisAZ]

It's a good question about whether or not your addict, of if you are dependent - very different. I know I'm an addict. Mine started with legitimate scripts and pain... and then the pain got manageable and I kept taking the medication. And then, it wasn't giving me a feel-good feeling anymore, so I upped the dose. My thoughts were consumed with how many pills do I have left? What happens when I run out? Can I get another script? What if my pain comes back (it did - but it could have been managed with non-prescription pain pills or steroids)? So for me, it was easy.

Have you thought about talking to your doctor about it? If you're taking as prescribed to treat pain, and aren't experiencing the other effects... perhaps you're not an addict. I hear some people actually have real pain, take pain pills according to the directions, and aren't addicted - I'm just not one of those.

I'm really not trying to make light of your question or situation. It's a tough one. You've got a LOT going on, legitimate pain being one of those things. If you are truly questioning if you are addicted, definitely consider speaking with your doc about it.